Drama Queen // Otto Hightower // Thea Queen

22. Mothers

Oliver remembered when Thea started taking drugs, he was upset and even more so when he found that it was Tommy that was providing it to her. Then Oliver found her throwing up after meals.  Mother had measured her waist and her thighs said she needed to lose weight. Then Oliver saw the little cuts on her thighs.

She was in a good place now, he worried how long that would last in this new place, with mothers harsh words of failures and the devil sent you. He didn't want her to get hurt, to hurt herself.

He watched as Otto's sons flocked around Thea and saw her smile, a real smile. He hoped she would be okay, she looked alright, looked like she could cope, could handle this turn in her life once again. The disappointment from Moira was constant but that was just who their mother was.

But he remembered the spiral that she went down. How much of a wall she put up. How strong she had to be to keep herself on top of her disorders. The disorders her mother caused. Oliver always thought that Thea was perfect. But Thea didn't see what Oliver saw.

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Thea put a hand on her stomach fisting the fabric. She was too unstable to bring a child into the world. Hell she ran away from her family when she was little thinking she could cut it on her own. Her child was going to give her hell and her mother would be cackling declaring that's what you get you ungrateful bitch. Thea could hear her now.

"Thea?" Otto questioned. "Do you like your chambers?"

"Yes. Thank you." Thea agreed shortly.

"It something wrong?"

"I'm... just tired." Thea offered.

"I'm sorry if the boys... bothered you."

"Not at all." Thea corrected. "Clayton's a sweetie." 

"Yes he takes after his mother." Otto agreed softly. 

"You dont talk about her... I know we havent known each other long but... could you tell me about her?" Otto chuckled softly as he sat down on the edge of the bed. 

"She was matched with me... she was actually very much the opposite of you." Otto informed her. "She was quite, timid, spent hours tucked away in a book, Alicent was young when she passed but she looked up to her. She told the kids stories always with a happily ever after, sang to them even though she could never hold a tune to which Adrian and Roy will confirm." Thea smiled softly back at him. 

"And when she died you all pushed the memory of her out of your minds." Thea rasped. 

"It was hard." Otto agreed. "The boys were moody and hormonal, going through that phase of everything is awful and didnt give a damn about anything, Clayton was a baby, I dont think he remembers her. Alicent was still at the phase in her life where her mother was her whole world... which is why I think she wanted to please me so much in the years that came... she craved that approval their mother gave them so effortlessly." Otto informed her. 

"That's... thats sad." Thea admitted. "So you encouraging her to flirt with Viserys is that what would please you?" Otto meet her gaze, it wasnt harsh, it was gentle, soft eyes met his. 

"I pushed for more for this family and my ambition got the better of me." Otto agreed. "But I did what I did out of love and hope for a better future." Otto assured. "I just might have-"

"Might have?" Thea corrected. 

"I did go about it the wrong way." Otto agreed. 

"And for the future children we are never having?" Thea pondered. 

"If that day comes I hope to do better. For you and for them... all my children."