The Danse Dilemma

19. Day Off

We took the plans back to the Brotherhood for them to build. When they asked where we got them, I simply shrugged them off, telling them I won't reveal my sources. I got yelled at by Maxson but what's new. They started working on the teleportation instantly, having trouble reading the messy, scribble handwriting of the mutant.

For now, me and Danse have the day off. We were currently in our own quarters. 'I wonder what Danse is doing?' That man has saved my skin more ways than one, but... what are we? I wanted to sleep off what I had just gone through from the last three days, but as soon as I had changed into more comfortable clothes, there was a knock on my door. I grit my teeth and closed my eyes for a second when another knock rang out.

"Coming." I open the door and there was Danse. He was out of his power armor and held something close to his chest, like he was hiding it. Then he smiled slightly and showed what he was holding. Some Fancy Lads Snack Cakes. "Oh, Danse I'm-." He held his hand up and instead told me to grab a blanket. We snuck past the barricades for the Scribes and the nursery with Scribe Neriah. He brought me to the very edge of the blimp where there was a circular groove for us to sit. Around us were toys and chalk drawings of super mutants and Jangles The Moon Monkey. He sat the blanket underneath us and opened the box of Lad Cakes. It was quiet for a moment before he spoke up.

"Can I ask about your mission? The one that involved Kellogg? If it's okay to ask, I mean." He was looking at me, too intently if I'm honest. I fidgeted with my hands and pondered how to start the story.

"Well, I went to talk to Valentine and told them my story, y'know 'bout being frozen and all. Well when I was frozen, Kellogg, he... he came up to my husband's pod and unfroze them. He tried to take our baby, Shaun. Nate refused... tried fighting him off. Kellogg shot him in the chest. Took Shaun and just laughed at me before freezing my pod again." My voice began to crack and my throat was searing with pain. Danse placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Y/N, if it bothers you that much, you don't have to tell me."

I shook my head. "No it's okay. I've been holding this shit in for awhile now. I've gotta get it out of me." He nodded. "When I got out, everything was different. I realized finding Shaun was going to be a helluva lot harder than I planned. Sometimes I completely gave up. We tracked him down about three days before I found you and found his hideout. He had a small synth army protecting him and even tried to bargain with me after we got through to him. Said some shit like 'If you leave now, I'll let you live. Never thought you'd make it this far honestly.' smug prick. I wasn't planning to leave alive after I had found him anyways. We had a big-."

"Wait." Danse stopped me, his hand placed atop of mine. "What does that mean? 'Not planning to leave alive'? Y/N, did you go in... expecting to die?"

I felt my face getting hot, why was he asking this kind of question? "W-well yea but I-."

"You should never go into battle you're not sure you can win." He starts lecturing me, slipping into his rank.

I glared at him, I had been able to hold back tears while I was talking but now that I stopped they began trickling down. "I can't wait for that shit Danse! What if he was gone? What if I had to wait again to get on his trail again! This is fucking eating me alive! You don't know shit about what it feels like for me!"

I wanted to keep yelling at him. Hell, I wanted to punch him in the face, but the crying got uncontrollable and I began to panic, my chest heaving rapidly. It felt like a shit ton of needles stabbing at my head, I couldn't stop hyperventilating. I felt arms wrap around me and Danse was saying something but I couldn't process what he was saying. After a few more times I could hear him saying 'deep breaths.' At that point, I was gasping for air. My hands were wet from the dripping tears and I was clutching to the front of his shirt. Eventually I calm down, but we didn't move from our position. It still felt like my head was being tickled by microscopic needles.