Little Miss Montgomery-Shepherd

Chapter 33

⚠️TW: Drugs, SH and Suicide Attempt⚠️

It's been like a week since you made peace with your mom, Meredith tried contacting with you every day for the past week.

It's Friday and your mom is ending her job soon so she let you stay home alone for the first time. It's only for like 3 hours though...

You're sitting in the living room and you hear a knock. You're not supposed to open the door for anyone so you didn't. After like 5 minutes someone is calling you. Your mom.

"Open the door I forgot my keys!" She said and then hung up the phone.

You walk to the door and open it.

"Meredith?" You ask unbelievably.

"Y/n... I... you didn't answered my calls." She said and you couldn't believe that, she flew all over from Seattle to apologize? Than it hit you, she actually cares about you. And not only because she has too. She took a vacation from work to apologize? You hug her so tight you couldn't let go, although you knew Meredith isn't like hugging she hugged you back.

She stepped in the house and you couldn't say a thing. You felt lonely, you had no siblings to sympathize with you or talk too. you have yourself. That's it. You had grown ups all around you but you never had a kid to talk too. Maya was with her friends and you didn't really had something in common...

"I missed you nosy, I don't want you to hate me. Your dad and I... I already told you. No matter what happens between us you'll always have me." You smiled and looked down at your hands.

"But how did you came? I really though you and my mom doesn't really get along..." you said honestly

"At first I tried contacting you. You didn't pick up so I called your mom. I put all of my emotions aside and all I hoped for was that she'll pick up. She did. I told her that I am not trying to replace her and that she'll always be your mother but as your dad's girlfriend I want to have a relationship with you as well and that you're angry at me for something so I have to come and have some time with you. I was anxious all the call, I knew I was so overstepping here but she got it. For once we understood it's not about us anymore. It's about you."

You had tears in your eyes and then you said "Ugh Meredith so cringe, I loved it though, thank you for coming, thank you for caring"

"So do you want to go out or order in?" She asked and you smiled "In".
...

"So what now?" You asked, you had a really good time with Meredith but it's time to ask her something you've been afraid to ask. She looked at you with a confused face.

"You're not my dad's girlfriend anymore. You and him isn't together. How the hell we will spend time together? I have a mom who lives here and a dad that is probably seeing other people. You have no rights over me. You probably going to see other people too, how will they be okay with you spending time with your ex's daughter? You have your job, you're a second year resident with crazy hours and your Boards are soon and my parents told me how rough it is. You're making promises now that you probably won't be able to keep."

"I..." She took a deep breath and looked at you and smiled a big smile.

"I'm staying. No man will separate us. From the second I met you I knew you're something special y/n. You stuck with me. If a man will ever tell me to choose he's not my guy. Period." She said and you smiled at her and hugged her.

"When are you leaving?" You ask her and sigh.

"Tomorrow morning" she said and you felt the tears in your eyes and your throat started hurting. You couldn't breathe, you started breathing fast and you felt your heart start to beat fester.

"I... I can't breathe" you said choking on your words and Meredith just took a deep breath

"Look at me, y/n" she said and you did as she told you too

"Here, breath like me" she took your hand and placed it on her chest and you could feel her heartbeat, after something that felt like forever you calm down.

"What happened to me??" You asked her.

"You had a panic attack. Why? Is everything okay?" Meredith asked and you shook your head and hug her tightly.

"I want to go home" you whisper in her ear.

"You are home y/n" she said and you shook your head

"Home to Seattle, I want to go home to Seattle. I miss you and dad. I love my mom I do but I want to come home." You said looking at her.

"What about Amelia? Won't you supposed to go stay with her?" You nodded, you totally forgot about it but still you wanted home. To Meredith house, to Izzie, to Callie, To your dad.

"She'll understand, I'm homesick" you explained and Meredith nodded.

"You need to talk to your mom first. You meed to talk to her. Your mom loves you very much, she'll understand if you'll talk to her" Meredith said and you nodded.

"You know what? I'll be okay, I'm going to aunt Amelia in like 3 days, If I want I'll go back sooner, I'll talk to you. Please just don't... don't leave Meredith." You said and she smiled

"I won't, pinky promise״ she said playfully and you smiled at her.
...

After Meredith left to her hotel you walked to your bedroom to call your aunt...

"Y/n! Were did you go?" Your mom shouted at you while your walking upstairs.

"I'm calling Amy!" You said, you didn't actually call her.

You just wanted to cry without anyone seeing you. You just so depressed, you don't want to live so far away from your parents. You love them both. You're so mentally drained. You walked to your mom's bedroom and opened one of her drawers.

You saw a lighter and you took it, walking back into your bedroom and open the lighter. You put your hand above the fire and then you put it closer to your arm, near the armpit and just burn yourself a little. It hurts but it's so freeing. All of your pain is on your arm. You look at the pills, you look inside your container, 6 pills left. maybe if you are dead you won't be a burden on anyone. Maybe if you're dead your parents will be really free from each other and Meredith could be happy, You're only ruining everyone's lives. You started crying and then you just stopped.
You took a piece of paper and start writing there:
"I love you mom, sorry. But now you're free, you're all free."

You placed the paper on your desk and swollen all the pills.

Everything goes black.

You feel nothing.

Thoughts?💔