Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 1158 - 1358

Entry 1160: Saturday 30th November 2019

Entry 1160
Saturday 30th November 2019

Me and Naomi met up with Mike and Sc-Fi Cyn at Sails Café. The atmosphere was a bit tense because I was still acting weird around Naomi due to my suspicions about her and Roz. I know I'm acting like a childish idiot, but I can't help it. I want to get to the bottom of this.

In the morning Tinsley made an announcement that the new Infected Entertainment Complex (IEC) was now open. I suppose I should be more interested but right now my focus is on getting to the bottom of what's going on with Roz and Naomi.

Later in the morning Naomi and I were sat with Mike and Cyn in Sails Café having a cuppa, and the atmosphere was a bit odd. "OK," said Sci-Fi Cyn bluntly looking at me and Naomi, "Have you two fallen out or something, because I'm sorry to say that you can cut the atmosphere in here with a knife." "Have you upset Luke?" Mike firmly asked Naomi. "It's him!" exclaimed Naomi with a big smile on her face, implying that I was making a mountain out of a molehill, "He's gone all weird because he knew I had a girlfriend when I was in college." "Why have you gone all weird about that?" Cyn asked me. "I haven't," I said, sulking. "Yes, you have," said Naomi, "You've been weird with me ever since." "I just don't know why you didn't tell me," I said. "Because it doesn't matter," said Naomi, "I don't know about all of your ex's, do I?" "I don't have an ex that's a man," I said, "How would you feel if I told you I used to have a boyfriend?" "Luke, I really wouldn't care," said Naomi, "If it's in the past, it's in the past." Naomi rolled her eyes and looked at Mike and Cyn. "He thinks I'm going to leave him for some big butch lesbian," she giggled. "Don't laugh," I firmly said. "Oh God," said Naomi, rolling her eyes and standing up, "Mike. Cyn. Will you talk to him please? I don't know what's wrong with him. I'm going to the loo." Naomi went off to the toilet and I quickly addressed Mike and Cyn with a sense of urgency. "Right," I said, "Do you think she's acting differently?" "Well, yeah," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "She's acting like you're making a something out of nothing." "No," I said, "I mean do you think she's acting all... Well... You know... More..." "More what?" asked Sci-Cyn. "More like a lesbian?" I asked. "Oh, for God's sake, Luke," said Cyn, rolling her eyes. "You think she's a lesbian?" Mike asked. "He's doing his usual Luke-crazy-thinking-process," said Cyn, "Of course Naomi isn't a lesbian." "Listen," I quickly but quietly said, making sure I could get out what I wanted to before Naomi returned, "First I find out that she had a girlfriend when she was in college, and then I go round to her place and she sends me to the shop to get rid of me, and when I get back, she's sat on the sofa with Roz, and when I walk in, they both jump up like they've been caught doing something suspicious." "Oh, that does sound dodgy," said Mike. "Mike, shut up," said Cyn, "Luke, there's nothing dodgy about that all. Haven't you learnt anything from that whole debacle where you tried to extend your penis? Just talk to her for God's sake." "I did talk to her," I said, "But she just acted all secretly and like I was making a mountain out of a molehill." "You ARE making a mountain out of a molehill," said Cyn, "Why would she be having sex with you, if she was a lesbian?" I lowered my head as awkward silence followed. "What?" asked Sci-Fi Cyn. "Well, we haven't had sex yet," I said under my breath. "You what?" asked Cyn. "I said we haven't had sex yet," I said, raising my voice slightly. "You haven't what?" asked Sci-Fi Cyn, leaning closer. "We haven't had sex!" I loudly and thoughtlessly snaped as everyone else in the café turned and looked at me. "Oh..." said Sci-Fi Cyn, looking slightly more concerned. "That's a bit of a tell-tale sign," said Mike, "Last time I checked, lesbians don't have sex with men. They look like men, but they don't have sex with men. Look, if she's shagging Roz, I can tie her up, force her eyes open with match sticks, shove pins under her finger nails and get the truth out of her. Should take me about twenty minutes." "No," I firmly said to Mike, "That's not the way to go." "Luke's right," said Cyn, "There's got to be another way to deal with this." "Water torture?" said Mike. "Luke, you just need to speak to her," said Sci-Fi Cyn. "Like I said, I tried," I said, "But she just dismissed me." "Why don't you be more direct with her?" asked Mike, "Ask her outright if she's a lesbian and if she's shagging Roz?" "Well, she's not going to tell me the truth, is she?" I said, "And to be honest I don't know if I want to hear the answer. Its bad enough knowing my ex-wife became a lesbian, I don't want a girlfriend who's a lesbian right now." "What are you going to do?" asked Cyn. I'm going to try and find out if Naomi and Roz are shagging each other," I said, "I love Naomi but I won't put up with her shagging that tree-hugging, soy-loving, self-righteous know it all behind my back. I just need to know one way or the other." Naomi started to return to the table. "She's coming back," I quietly said, "Don't say anything about all this lesbian stuff. Keep your mouths shut. Change the subject. Talk about something else." Naomi sat back with us and we got in to another subject. "Yeah, well you're not the only one who's been having a tough time," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "Tinsley found out about my speech at the funerals and he gave me a right dressing down. He said I was an asset to GRID but that I should reflect on my loyalties. I just nodded and told him what he wanted to hear but I did feel scared. He was right in my face and he took great delight in telling me that the day of Jon Blade was well and truly over. Vile like w*nk badger." "People really are scared of him, aren't they?" said Naomi. "There are more GRID soldiers than there are of him," said Mike, "They should just stand up to him. They're men for God's sake." "A man chooses. A slave obeys," said Sci-Fi Cyn. "Is that from The Bible or something?" I asked. "No," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "Bioshock. 2007."