Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 1158 - 1358

Entry 1190: Monday 30th December 2019

Entry 1190
Monday 30th December 2019

I feel a bit better than I did yesterday, but my head is still a bit of a mess.

I woke up after only getting a couple of hours sleep, feeling incredibly depressed and thinking that the world would be better off without me. I laid on my bed looking up at the ceiling when Mum knocked on my door. "Sausage, it's me," she said, "Please let me in. Me and Meryl are worried about you." "Go away," I unenthusiastically said. "Leo wants to see his dad," said Mum, "He doesn't know why you don't want to be near him." "I said go away," I repeated. A few seconds later I heard Auntie Meryl's voice. She joined Mum on the other side of my bedroom door. "Right" she firmly said, as she knocked hard on the door, "Luke. Open this door at once. I'm telling you, if you keep p*ssing about like this I'm not going to be happy. No come on. Stop all this mucking about an tell us what's going on!" "Just leave me alone," I said, "I want to be on my own." "So, it's going to be another day where you stay in your bedroom and leave me and your mother to look after this child of yours?" snapped Auntie Meryl. "Just go away!" I loudly said. Mum and Auntie Meryl eventually left, leaving me laying on my bed and starring up at the ceiling feeling just... Just... I don't know... Numb. As if part of me was already dead.

Later in the morning I was surprised to find that my bedroom door was being unlocked from the other side. Feeling confused and intrigued I sat upon my bed, watched as the door opened and saw Sci-Fi Cyn walk inside. "How did you do that?" I asked, "The door was locked." "Luke," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "It's me. I'm a genius, remember? There isn't a household door on this island with a lock that I can't unpick." Sci-Fi Cyn came and sat next to me on my bed. "Well, can you leave please?" I said, "This is my private space. I want to be on my own." "No, I can't leave," said Sci-Fi Cyn in a firm tone, "Well, I can, but I won't. I saw Naomi and Ash. They told me everything." "Did they?" I asked. "Yes," said Cyn, "I assumed our bi-daily catch up at Sails wasn't going ahead so I decided to come and see you. I don't really know what to say... I'm really sorry." I shrugged. "What are you going to do?" "Dunno," I said, as I once again shrugged. "I know this is difficult Luke," said Cyn, "But you can't give up." "I already have," I said sounding really uninterested. "Luke, your Mum and Auntie are downstairs really worried," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "Naomi doesn't know if the wedding is going ahead. Your son is crying for his dad." "Oh, Cyn," I said, sighing with depression, "Mum and Auntie Meryl will cope, Naomi will get over it and Leo doesn't need some infected freak like me as a dad. He's better off without me. Everyone is." "Luke, I know this is tough," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "But sitting in here and feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to help." "It's helping me," I said. "It doesn't look like it to me," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "You sound like you've given up." "I have," I said, "Well don't," said a firm Sci-Fi Cyn, "Luke this is awful, of course it is, but you don't have to give up. This isn't the end." At that moment Mum walked in with two cups of tea. "Don't snap at me," Mum said to me, "I'll leave you alone. I just thought I'd get you both a cuppa." Mum put the mugs of teas on my bedside drawers, smiled and then left. "Your Mum's worried about you," said Sci-Fi Cyn. "Is she?" I said, "First time for everything." "Luke, I know this is awful," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "But Naomi said that if you have this black pill every 72 hours you can keep this E5 virus at bay and live a normal life." I laughed. "A normal life?" I chuckled, "Are you serious? I've got some f*cked up version of the virus in me and you're saying that I can live a normal life!? Cyn, I'm not going to have normal life ever again. Do you know how... How... How WRONG I feel? I feel diseased and infected. Like I have this horrible disgusting thing inside me that I'm stuck with. I don't want to live a life like that. I don't want to be around people when I have this... This... THING inside me." "And what about the people who love you?" asked Sci-Fi Cyn, "Don't they get a say?" "It's my life," I said, "Not that it's much of a life now." "It's different," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "Luke, I know you've been through a lot, but this situation is...Well... It's manageable. I know you have a version of this virus in you. but Harold might be able to get rid of it, and even if he can't you can live a perfectly normal life if you take a pill every three days. Luke you've been on this island for over a year, and you've lived a perfectly normal... Well... Excluding all the little dramas... A perfectly normal life. If you'd have asked Harold some questions instead of kicking the sh*t out of him, you might have managed to find out how best you can manage this thing." "I don't want to manage it," I said, "I want it gone, and it doesn't look like it's ever going to go." "You don't know that," said Cyn, "You need to stop doing nothing and start taking action. Come on, we're going to see Harold right now." "I don't want to see Harold," I said. "You are coming with me to see Harold Endo right now," said a firm Sci-Fi Cyn, "I swear to God Luke, I will drag you kicking and screaming if I have to but you're coming with me to see Harold." "What do I want to see him for?" I asked, "See if he's interested in infecting me with the plague?" "You need to ask Harold questions," said Cyn, "He might be able to give you more information that could help you." Cyn picked up the mugs of tea Mum had brought in. She handed me a mug as she took a sip out of her mug. "Oh yeah," I said, as I slurped my tea, "The man who injected me with the virus, tried to keep me locked in a freezer for ten years and then got battered by me... I'm sure he'll be keen to help." "It's worth a try," said Sci-Fi Cyn, "Now stop sitting there sulking, get off your bum and come with me to see Harold. Luke, I really think we might be able to sort this out." I finished off drinking my tea, plonked my mug back on the bedside drawers and reluctantly followed Cyn next door to see Harold.