Versailles Series Book 7: The Ballerina [COMPLETED]

CHAPTER 14

=== A L E X A N D R I A ===

I stared at his back. Malapad and balikat nito at diretsong-diretso ang tindig. He is much more muscular now than before. Dati nga ay may nakukurot-kurot pa akong taba sa tagiliran nito.

"The party is not here, Alexandria." Narinig kong sabi nito.

"I know. Pero nandito ang gusto kong kasayaw."

He faced me and walked towards me. "Hindi ka pa rin sumusuko?"

Umiling ako. "I'm still here aren't I?"

"What are you trying to prove?" Tinignan ako nito mula ulo hanggang paa.

My gown had a lower cut neckline just to show off a decent amount of cleavage. The slit starts from my upper thigh which shows a bit of my leg as I walk. I've never felt so beautiful. I've been asked by a couple men on my way to where Juan Miguel was. Siya ang gusto kong unang kasayaw. And if the tradition works, gusto kong ito rin ang huli kong kasayaw.

"I'm just trying to look my best, Miggy."

"Stop calling me that."

"Why not call me Xan? You used to call me that. You're the only one who can call me that." His expression remained cold and stoic.

"I call most people by their first names. You're included."

Narinig ko na magsisimula na ang unang sayaw. Agad kong kinuha ang mga kamay nito.

"Bawal ng umatras. Hawak mo na ako."

He just tsk-ed and held on the lower portion of my back. Pinaikot ko ang mga braso ko sa leeg nito. Kami lang ang sumasayaw sa labas. Maya-maya ay pumailanlang ang boses ni Vanity.

We had the right love at the wrong time

Guess I always knew inside

I wouldn't have you for a long time

Those dreams of yours are shining on distant shores

And if they're calling you awayI have no right to make you stay

But somewhere down the road

Our roads are gonna cross againIt doesn't really matter when

But somewhere down the road

I know that heart of yours will come to see

That you belong with me

Ilang taon ko ring iniiyakan ang kantang ito. The irony that it is the song that's playing now.

"I wish you don't hate me as much as you do right now." Sabi ko rito.

"If it helps to make you go away, then I'll hate you for all I care." His eyes are averted from mine and his expressions are hard and cold.

Inilapit ko ang sarili ko rito at isinandal ang ulo ko sa dibdib nito. I can smell his familiar perfume. Hindi pa rin ito nagpapalit. Ano pa kaya ang ibang hindi nito pinapalitan?

"I'm sorry, Miggy."

"I know. You've said so a thousand times."

"Hindi mo pa rin ba ako napapatawad?"

"Kapag ba napatawad na kita, kailangan din ba kitang pabalikin sa buhay ko?"

Napatahimik ako sa tinanong nito.

"Isn't forgiveness enough for us to close our past, Alexandria? Why are you opening the wounds that have healed already?"

Napalunok lang ako habang yumakap lalo rito. I was so focused on getting his attention that I forgot to think about the answers to his questions.

"Cat got your tongue? Hmm?"

"I still love you, Miggy. Hindi naman nawala iyon eh."

"It doesn't matter."

"To me it does. Kahit one chance lang, Miggy. I'm just asking for one chance. I want this again. I want us again. I never moved on. I never forgot about us." Naramdaman ko ang kirot sa dibdib ko.

"You made your choice Alexandria. What makes you think you still had the option to have what we had again?"

"Nararamdaman kong mahal mo pa ako."

"I don't know how to wake you up from your illusions. It shouldn't be my problem."

I did the craziest thing on my mind.

I looked up and pulled him. I kissed his lips. I moved my lips like it remembered how it used to kiss his. But moments passed and he didn't return it. As the song ended, I looked into his eyes which is now filled with hatred.

"Don't do that again."

He gently pushed me away before leaving me there. Kahit na wala na ito sa paningin ko ay nakatingin pa rin ako sa pinuntahan nito.

I exhaled. Hindi ko na yata kakayanin. He was right. Trying to win him back will open up the wounds that already healed. But mine didn't. My wounds are still open and I can still feel the pain from those.

Pumasok ako pagkatapos ng ilang minuto. Nakipagsayaw ako sa ibang miyembro na parang wala akong dinaramdam. Nakipagbiruan na parang hindi nawasak ang puso ko ngayong gabi.

Tulad ng pangako ko sa sarili ko, ilalaan ko ang huling sayaw ko kay Juan Miguel kahit na anong mangyari. Kaya noong nakita ko uli itong lumabas sa hardin ay sinundan ko ulit ito.

Napatigil ako sa paghakbang nang makita ang dalawang tao na nasa hardin. It was Juan Miguel and Georgina. They were waltzing.

Parang nanigas ang katawan ko. It's like I've been pulled to eight years ago. I've seen this before. Unti-unting gumapang sa katawan ang hindi maipaliwanag na pakiramdam.

I watched as Juan Miguel held Georgina's smiling face and kissed her on her lips. I continued to watch as their lips moved in sync.

Napakapit ako sa poste nang maramdaman kong nahihilo ako. I shook my head. Ayaw kong mawalan ng malay roon. Parang robot na tinungo ko ang saskayan ko. Halos lakad-takbo na ang ginawa ko.

It was the last dance meaning it was the highlight of the evening kaya wala na akong nakasalubong papuntang parking lot. I was silently thankful for that. I was barely holding it in.

I managed to drive back to my house. Kahit nandidilim na ang paningin ko ay nakapasok ako sa bahay at dumiretso sa banyo.

I vomitted.

Napaupo ako sa sahig ng banyo na nanghihina at pawis na pawis. That's when the tears streamed down my face.

Ganoon pa rin pala kasakit. Kahit ilang taon na ang lumipas ang sakit-sakit pa rin pala. Nakakamanhid ang sakit.

Sumubsob ako sa braso kong nakapatong sa tuhod ko. I sobbed until I passed out. Nang imulat ko ang mata ko ay maliwanag na ang labas ng bahay. I was still on the bathroom floor. Doon na nga pala ako nakatulog. I was still wearing my gown from last night.

I stared at the ceiling. Memories flashed and I felt that pang in my heart again.

How much pain am I still willing to endure to get him back? Even if I get Juan Miguel's forgiveness, kailangan ko pa rin nga bang pumasok sa buhay nito? Bakit ba pinagsisiksikan ko pa ang sarili ko rito?

CHAPTER 15 >>