Amba: A Reincarnation of lust for Love of Bhism

Shikhandi in Kurukshetra War

Story Unfolds :

The very next morning Shikhandi had started for Dwarka. His wife Jayanti (Nick name of Princess Jayjayanti of Darshana) insisted him to stay for at least fortnight. But he was still not very comfortable with her. Her last cry was still ringing in his eardrum. God knew what she would want from him now when he got boyhood?!!

Her wife was not satisfied with the adoption of Yudhhajit. She wanted her own son from her husband. But he stayed composed and told her quite firmly that he could not give her a child. He gained his boyhood for a mission of life. Killing Bhism. He did not want to loose his focus merely by enjoying his time with his wife or newly adopted son. By the way his adopted son Yudhhajit became very fond of him. He was calling him as "Chote Pitashree" (young father or uncle). He did not want to correct a 5 years old boy. He dotted upon that child and loved to spent time to play with him. But Shikhandi knew that in heart that he left no such time to go on like this way.

"Chote Pitashree, are you coming back to play with me?!! I will miss you." Young Yudhhajit pouted his lips. He was hugging Shikhandi's shoulders with both of his hands.

Shikhandi ran down his loving hands through his young nephew's black hair. He felt attracted to this child too.

"I can't promise. But if I can, I will surely come back." Shikhandi told him with a smile.

"Then I will not let you go. Please stay with me." Yuddhajit hugged him more fiercely.

His biological parents were looking at them in amused eyes. Satyajit came forward and took the boy in his lap. "I will not let him go." Yudhhajit sobbed hard.

Shikhandi tugged his chin towards himself and kissed his forehead softly. Then he wiped his eyes and gently whispered in the boy's ears -

"I promise to come back to you if I remain alive after the war. I swear."

Then he went out of the room to meet his wife. He had to bade goodbye to her too.
....

"I will not let you go at this moment. What is my fault? Why you are so indifferent to me? You are not like this in childhood." His wife lifted her teary eyes to him.

He put his hands on her shoulders and told her softly "It was not your fault, Jayanti. You are married with a transgender. Your father knew the truth beforehand. My father too. I tried to convince them both not to give your marriage with me. But they did not listen to me."

"You?!! What?!!" She opened her eyes wide. She could not bealive her ears.

"Yes, I am. I am a transgender myself. I exchanged my gender with a gentle Yaksha and gave a promise to him to return it back after the war. I don't want to keep you dark more. You can curse me. I am willing to accept it. It is my sin after all. I wasted your life." He told her with choking voice. He could not want to keep the secret hidden anymore.

She again lifted her eyes to him and answered him "I can curse you if I don't love you. I loved you since my childhood. I did not know your true identity. Now after knowing it, I don't think it matters at all. I only know one thing that I love you. And I will love you. Forever. Even if you don't love me. I will still love you."

He hugged her tightly in his arms. By closing his eyes tightly he maintained to her "I love you. As my friend. As my partner of crime. But not as my lover or my wife. I am truly sorry but please forgive me for keeping you dark for so long."