miracle [N. SEBASTIAN]

"hello?"

[<3]

it's been a few weeks since I've had my stitches and a week since I've gotten them out. the boys left 2 weeks ago for tour and I've been learning to "walk" again with Amyra laughing at my wobbling.

"you look like a penguin." she cackles watching me lose my balance.

"well no shit, I haven't walked in a month." I all say loudly, but still not to the point that it's a yell.

we're at the mall currently, shopping for some clothes and to get me a new phone. every single item I owned was destroyed that night. everything but my laptop that I thankfully left at work.

"you look like a three year old trying to walk in heels for the first time."

"why don't you actually go walk a tight rope instead of acting like it?"

"I've seen a dolphin walk on water better than what you're doing and they can't even walk."

it's all I hear. she thinks of something new every 5 minutes and it's honestly funny, the references get worse the more she goes on about them.

we walk into an Old Navy and look around, their athleisure stuff is honestly cuter than everything else. I grab a few pairs of flowy shorts, leggings and sports bras.

we then go to stores like HotTopic, Spencers, Victoria's Secret, and so and so fourth. I felt better walking after awhile but my legs are getting tired tremendously faster than usual.

"do you need to sit for a little?" I hear Amyra ask.

"please? my legs want to give out." I say.

"come on, the food courts just up ahead. we can get food while you sit and rest."

——

"your feet are supposed to be on the ground, not you."

"oh shut up." I grumble.

my legs gave out from being so tired by the time we got to the boys house. she laughs as she just walks past me.

"gee thanks myra." I jokingly scold.

"oh no problem darling." she says in a British accent grabbing wine from the counter in the kitchen.

"now get those lazy ass legs up and get on the couch, we're drinking."

I make my way to the couch slowly and sigh in relief as my body makes contact with the comfortable furniture.

"you read my mind."

"you know honestly I don't think I should be drinking this as I am still on my last few pain meds." I say while I take a sip of the red wine.

"don't act like you care now." she laughs.

I shrug as she is right. only a glass in and she's already giggling.

"you look like Ariel when she first got legs." she giggles.

"okay scuttle." I say grabbing the both of us another glass of wine, knowing damn well she doesn't need it.

"hey! take that back! I'm Sebastian!" she gasps and then starts singing "under the sea" in a very horrible impression of the crab.

"oh yeah. most definitely." I roll my eyes and hand her her wine that she not so gracefully takes.

Myra is passed out on the couch after about an hour of drinking. it's only 7pm which I find to be hilarious with how she already passed out.

I take her drink and put a blanket over her. her shoes are long gone and she has drool falling from the corner of her mouth.

I get ready for bed, change clothes, brush my teeth and lay in bed for the next few hours just thinking. the same routine nearly every night for the past few weeks.

I have an early shift tomorrow morning at the radio station as I'm good to go back to work. thank god all I really do is sit down.

I can't get the thoughts of my boyfriend out of my head. he's in Europe, miles and hours away. I shift in my bed unable to get comfortable and nothing seems to aid my mind as I spiral down a rabbit hole of missing him.

maybe it's the alcohol. maybe it's not.

it's now about 11pm and I finally let out an uncomfortable groan.

11:42pm in California meaning it's 5:42am in Hamburg Germany where the boys are.

my new phone in hand I hesitate over the call button. I don't want to wake him, but I just need to hear his voice. the soft light glows around my face, it being the only light source in the dark room.

I sigh and turn it off, then pick it back up.

I call. the phone rings as I hold it to my ear. it rings 3 times before an answer.

"hello?"