miracle [N. SEBASTIAN]

"i needed a miracle."

[<3]

inside the venue felt humid as bodies literally pressed against each other. a band was playing as I pushed my way through the crazy crowd to get a decent spot to watch the boys perform.

Nick invited me and even though I told him I might not make it, I dropped my plans and came anyways. better late than never.

I haven't seen Noah since the whole break up and honestly I'm not too positive I'm ready for that.

it's been 2 weeks since and every day I pick up my phone to call him and tell him I take everything back, but one thought in the back of my head stops me.

what if he hates me?

the mere thought makes my stomach turn on itself. it would be my fault too.

my anxiety is near the roof as I watch the lights of the stage turn off to prepare for the next band. the boys band.

my hands shake and start sweating as I disassociate slightly. I see both Matt and Bryan on stage talking about something while Bryan sets his camera up.

he takes a picture and then checks it, but squints at it zooming in before quickly looking up and scanning the area around me.

the second his gaze falls on me I falter. his face lights up and he says something to Matt, who then looks in my direction as well.

maybe I'm not welcome here.

one thought after another, but soon they disappear when they try to wave me over. I shake my head and give them my best smile. the smiles stay on their face but I can tell they are slightly disappointed.

I look away and look around me, people talking amongst themselves and laughing.

the show is quick to start. everyone starts screaming when Noah walks on stage. my eyes glued to his every movement. I watch his eyes close when he starts singing.

the anxiety I felt simmered down, I'm calmed by his presence, but my heart picks up pace when I meet his brown eyes. he holds eye contact while singing, only closing his eyes for a few seconds.

"with this last song, I just want to say something."

"I needed a miracle," he says through the mic, looking straight at me.

"and thank god it was you."

——

the airs cold, oddly as it's rarely freezing in LA, when I walk out of the venue. the door slams shut and the opens again just as it shuts.

"Kennedy, wait!"

my steps slow before I fully stop. I turn around to see Noah standing outside of the door with a longing look on his face.

"hey." I say quietly, almost a whisper.

"you came?" he asks but he stays in his spot.

"yeah of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world."

I see a small smile form on his face as he scratches the back of his head. something he does when he's nervous.

"can we talk?"

his eyes hold a trace of hope.

I just nod my head and motion him to walk with me.

"so uh what did you want to talk about?" I look at the street next to me as the yellow lights from the street lights shining above.

"us. I-I mean if that's okay," he stutters. "I just really miss you Ken."

I nod my head and kick a small rock, "I regret it."

I take in a deep breathe before continuing.

"I regret breaking up with you. I've regretted it the second I thought of it. I can't say how sorry I truly am. I've missed you the second I walked out your door, but I just couldn't bring myself to face what I did."

we're both stopped at this point, just standing in-front of each other.

"Ken, you only did what you thought was right. I was upset and angry at first but I understood it more after a while. you didn't deserve having me take my anger out on you, there's no excuse as to why I did. I'm the one who should be sorry. I did the two things I never wanted to do. make you upset and push you away."

the look in his eyes show how sorry he is.

I shake my head, "I didn't, but you didn't deserve me taking my anger out on you either. I love you Noah, so much. doing that hurt me, especially when I saw the tears in your eyes that night. I never meant to make you cry. I didn't want to hurt you."

"you didn't hurt me Ken, all you did was open my eyes and help me realize how much I was hurting us. I love you too much to hurt you, I'm glad you did what you did. it helped make me better for not just me, but our relationship and I meant it when I said I'd wait for you. I'd wait forever if it meant I could be the reason behind that beautiful smile of yours, If I could wake up next to you every morning, share a cup of coffee and get to hold you. you're worth the wait. you're worth it all."

his thumb brush over my hand that are now held by his and I watch them.

"well I'm glad that I'm good at keeping my promises because it seems like you won't have to wait any longer."

——

"just promise to come back to me."

"I promise."

——