ready for it? • t. zegras

twenty one

I'm scared of heights. Seriously. I don't know how I let Trevor finally convince me to go up on their roof. He was talking about how the off-season is so close and I won't have the chance soon and I gave in. I think I started thinking about how I'm going to have to miss him and it made me sad and I didn't want to be anywhere away from him.

Took that very seriously by the way. I'm sitting between his legs, leaning back against his chest. I'll admit, if I focus more on his presence and the sunset than the fact we are on a literal roof, it's not that bad. I still find myself paying a lot of attention to my phone because looking up does remind me a lot of the fact that we are on a roof and I hate that.

"What could be more important on your phone than this view and my story?" Trevor asks, his voice vibrating through his chest into mine.

"Texting my mom," I mumble.

"Tell her about how you don't give me enough attention."

Somehow I laugh. Despite how fast my heart is beating in a way that's shockingly not to do with Trevor right now, I laugh. "You get too much of my attention, I'd say."

"I don't think I do," he says.

"I have given you so much attention from the second I met you."

"Well, I have you beat 'cause I've been giving you so much attention before you met me."

"It's not a comp— Wait, what?" I put my phone away and take in a shaky breath. It's not enough to calm my nerves so I end up grabbing hold of either of Trevor's lower thighs. "Are you saying, uh, that you like stalked me or something?"

"No, no, no," he laughs. My hold tightens. "I mean like the hour before I actually walked up to you."

"Are you going to tell me the story? The one that Mason and Jimmy refused to tell me?"

"If you stop digging your nails into my legs, yeah. I'll tell you the embarrassing story."

Is it worth it? Do I really have to know the backstory of why Trevor approached me in the first place? I think I'm pretty satisfied with keeping a tight hold on him and not knowing. I've gotten this far. God, but I want to know. Fuck. I let go. My hands rest on top of his legs instead.

"There ya go," he teases.

We are high up here. Oh wow. Oh wow. I close my eyes tightly. "Zegras. Story. Now."

"What's the magic word?"

"Trevor."

"I don't think it's that."

"Please," I beg. "Please, babe."

"Alright, honey." He dramatically clears his throat and the shake of it makes me laugh in pure nerves. "So I got a call and it was all like 'Hey, man. Come to this bar with us tonight.'. I didn't want to go. But I ended up going. Right?"

"Mhm."

"And we're there and..." He stops. Fully. Only thing that can be heard is the pretty quiet sound of their Rooftop playlist from Trevor's phone. Oh god. Trevor's phone that's on the roof because we're on the roof—

My nails start to find his skin again. "Trevor."

"You're gonna make fun of me, Ten."

"If you aren't telling the story, I have to get off this roof."

"Okay, okay." A deep breath and he's back it. "We're there and a buddy of mine is all like 'Dude, there's a dartboard. We should play.' I don't play darts and I try to tell him that. But I look over at the dartboard and there's this girl with the biggest smile with her eyes closed throwing a dart. Not at the board. She misses wildly and just laughs when she sees the dart hanging off the plant in the corner."

I remember that one. Mainly 'cause someone was standing right by that plant. Tilly loves getting me to attempt trick shots that she can do wasted and I can't do even sober. It makes her happy so I always at least try. I'm not sure I've ever successfully done an eyes-closed shot.

I don't have to be looking at him to know he's smiling. Don't even have my eyes open. It's in his voice. "I was like 'Listen, man, I don't play darts but I'm willing to for that girl.' And he looked at me like I was crazy 'cause you disappeared completely. You were gone. And I sounded fucking insane trying to describe you."

"How'd you describe me?"

"That's a secret," he says. I want to complain but he's going again. "I couldn't find you for a while and then someone pointed you out to me like, 'That one?' and I was so ready to walk up to you, and then... I didn't. I was looking at you and I couldn't do it."

"Ouch," I whisper.

"I got nervous, Tenner."

"Aw," I correct.

He sighs out a laugh. "Yeah. And then you know, I kind of watched you for a bit while getting destroyed for pussy-ing out after what I was saying. Like an hour later we were about to leave and I was trailing behind the group. Devastated."

"You mean you were pouting."

"Maybe a little. But I saw you at the bar and you were so into the game and I was about to walk past you to spare myself the embarrassment of knowing I couldn't do anything."

Imagining him all defeated and worked up about me when he didn't even know me makes my face feel really warm. All of me feel warm. Not in a weird way or anything. Makes me feel like the sun. A bursting ball of energy and warmth and happiness and I love Trevor for causing that feeling. I can't remember the last time I felt that feeling.

"I started hyping myself up though. You didn't see it but I literally did a spin move when I got past you. Full 180. I thought I had it in the bag." He pauses. "Wait, I did kind of have it in the bag."

"With that smile of yours, Z? Of course you had it in the bag."

"Really?"

"Absolutely."

"Let's get you off the roof, huh?" He suggests and my eyes shoot open.

My first thought isn't fear. My brain doesn't sound any alarms. It's gorgeous. The sunset is absolutely astonishing. Oranges and pinks and even some grey-blue mix together perfectly. Nothing could take my—

Buzz.

I make the mistake of taking my eyes off the horizon to glance at my phone and I'm punched in the throat. We are on a fucking roof.

"Please let's get off the roof."

He winces. "You have to stop using the claws, Ten."

"Sorry, hon."