ready for it? • t. zegras

twenty two

It was a rough day. I'll say it. Today fucking sucked! A shit ton of issues popped up in not just one but multiple of my modules at work. It was a pain in the ass. I was stressed. I tried calling Trevor a few times all day and he didn't answer. I've never been good with rejection. I haven't been rejected for the things I want much in my life. So even a few too many missed calls and unanswered texts will leave me reeling.

Not my best trait, I'll admit.

We made our plans two hours ahead of time, as per usual. I didn't say anything about how shit my day felt. I simply refused to be DD. Mira was fine with it though. Though I think she was considering regretting that choice when we got to the packed bar and I immediately ordered three shots for me and only me. Even more regret for my poor roommate when she saw they weren't going to be my last.

Now I'm drunk and slumped against the mirror of the bathroom, sitting on the counter. My phone is blurry and almost doubling in my hands. God. My phone with its stupid wallpaper that rotates and has so many pictures with Trevor in them. God. Why didn't he fucking answer me all day?

Maybe he'll answer now.

He will.

"Hello?" That's not Trevor.

I pull the phone away from my ear and realize that could never be Trevor's name. Maybe I've had a bit too much. No. No. I'm fine. Put the phone back to your ear, Teagan. Trevor wouldn't have even answered.

"Hi, Jack." I try to lean back even further and my head ends up bumping the mirror hard.

It makes sense that I accidentally called Jack. We really get along. It's been what? A week? Week and a half? Maybe more since we got introduced and we talk daily. Not as much as Trevor and I. But he did text me today and that's more than Z did. I never use my contacts app with people I text daily. So Jack's conversation was probably where I expected Z's to be.

He hears my wince, I'm guessing. "You okay?"

"Bumped my head," I say.

"If you're slurring your words like that from a bump to the head, you should see a doctor."

"You can be my doctor."

"Who are you with? Z?"

My heart shatters. My bottom lip quivers slightly and I suck it into my mouth to pout like I did when I was a kid. Kid. Ugh.

I spit out a small, "No."

"Are you at home, then?"

"No." I huff. He doesn't press further. I love him for that. "I wish I was at home with Trevor but he hasn't fucking answered me all day."

"Really?" Jack mumbles it. There's tapping noises with it.

"Do you think I fucked up?"

"What do you mean?"

"I think I did something wrong."

"Who are you out with, Tenner?"

A group of girls floods into the bathroom right as the tears start coming. I've definitely had too much. Crying is the last stop on the drunkenness scale for me before puking. I hope I don't reach puking.

"Mira and Tilly," I say through a sob.

Like magic, they're in front of me! Oh, I love them! I love them so much and I lean forward and hug them and don't even care that my phone tumbles out of my hand. Tills pulls herself free and bends down to pick it up. She starts talking into it. That's my friend. They're both my friends. Trevor's only my friend.

Another sob so violent it hurts.

Mira's hands find either side of my face, forcing me to look straight at her. "Hey, hey, what's wrong?"