ready for it? • t. zegras

twenty five

The restaurant we're in for our last little hangout before Trevor and Jamie leave for the offseason is packed. So, I'm the first to notice Sunny's discomfort. Not that he hides it well. Ever since we were kids, when Spence had an issue, he'd look like he was ready to pounce on said issue. Ready to tackle it more like. Throw a few punches. Then, it was cute. Now, without the baby fat, it's kind of worrying.

It takes Mira bumping his shoulder to get him to take a deep breath in and out before saying, "Guys, don't look now or all at once but there's a dude practically mean mugging us who looks like he's at a fucking business dinner or some shit."

We all look over with zero hesitation. Sunny sinks down into the booth, covering his face with his hands. Because other than him and Jamie, who are facing out into the restaurant in the little U-shaped booth, we have to turn our heads to see. Jamie and Trevor continue staring right back at the guy who, thank fucking god, is now looking away while Mira, Tilly, and I snap back to exchange looks that are mixes of anger, confusion, and worry. My heart's pounding. I can't believe it.

It feels like seeing a ghost. Am I even sure that's what I'm seeing? Judging by my best friends' shocked expressions, it is. Charles fucking Barrett. My ex. My only actual ex. He's also the reason I've scream-cried to Would've, Could've, Should've by Taylor Swift. And Dear John. So, you know, wasn't the best relationship. Especially in the age gap area.

"Wait." Sunny's sitting up now, squinting toward the table that really isn't that far away. "Teags, that kind of—"

"Spencer Orion, stop that," I snap.

He stops immediately with a look of shock. "You sounded exactly like Mom there."

My heart soars for a moment before I remember that I just saw Charles for the first time since the breakup. Which, I did. Let it be clear, I came to my senses before he did. After an unfortunate train wreck of a dinner with his friends who were also mostly nearly ten years older than me, I broke up with him. Then never saw again until now. I didn't even get anything I may have left at his place. I couldn't face it.

"Trevor, Jamie, stop staring," I say. Sunny goes to comment and I shut him up with a glare. I don't want this to be a thing. It can't be a thing. Jamie stops immediately. I'm not even fully sure he realized he still was. He looked zoned out.

Z however, keeps looking. A small frown on his face that may have been cute in any other situation. I put a hand on the side of his face and gently push his gaze back toward our table. I hate booths that aren't just two sides when they aren't in the corner. Why the fuck is this a round booth in the middle of the wall? Fucking ridiculous.

"What?" Trevor mumbles. "He was totally looking at you, Teags. Not anyone else."

"Are you sure he wasn't looking past her to you?" Tilly asks. "The guy practically mean mugging him in a crowded restaurant?"

"I'm pretty damn sure he was looking at her."

I do my best to play it off. Rolling my eyes with a small huff of a laugh. "Who cares if he is? Men stare. Part of life."

"It's not bothering you?" Trevor sounds so concerned it almost makes me want to tell the truth about how much it bothers me that I'm in the same place as Charles.

"Nope," I lie.

I'm not convinced he's convinced. So, I scoot closer to him. Or I'm trying to convince myself to be okay. I don't know. Either way, it works. The moment our legs are pressed against each other's, he rolls his shoulders back and relaxes. I take my deepest breath and pull my hair to one side. Maybe it'll hide my face. Maybe Charles isn't sure it's me and is only staring to try and figure it out. Like Sunny did. My hair can cover my face enough to make him give up.