ready for it? • t. zegras

fourty two

"Light of my life," I gasp out. "I've missed you so much."

Jamie laughs as he pulls me into a hug. "I know. You told me so at least twice a week."

"Be honest, am I one of your first stops?" I ask.

"Other than my place to unpack a bit? You're the first, Ten," he says.

I let him in further than the doorway. Mira and Tills are out running errands. Work ran late for me and I didn't want them to wait for me. Although, I hate being home alone. I've tried convincing them to let us get a dog or a cat or, hell, even a fish. No go every time.

We settle down on the couch. I know a conversation won't happen unless I start it. For a few moments, I decide to only enjoy his presence in the silence. See? I can shut up. I can enjoy simply being with my loved ones.

But I don't enjoy silence. "Z didn't want to come with you?"

"Uh." Jamie frowns. "He went out to dinner with someone. Honestly, I thought that meant you until you answered the door."

"Nope," I say. "Why would he not tell you if it was me?"

"Well— I don't know. He was pretty vague."

My brain flinches. It tugs and pulls at the tone Jamie's words took on. They were almost stiff. Clipped. Like he was confused and trying to hide it or something. He did have an international flight earlier today. Probably tired is all.

Still, a chill runs down my spine. "Did he offer for you to come with?"

"Nope," Jamie says.

A slow nod is all I can muster. Meanwhile, my brain runs at a million miles a minute. Thinking everything from good to bad. He could have gone to dinner with Alex. He could have gone by himself, wanting some alone time. That one's unrealistic. Trevor loves company.

Then there's the worst. Jamie thought he was going to dinner with me. Maybe that means it sounded like there's a girl involved. I'm Trevor's girl. Jamie made the logical conclusion. Instead, though, Trev may be out with another girl. Going to dinner. With another girl alone. That's unrealistic too, right?

"Did he tell you anything?" JD questions cautiously.

"I got off work later than usual," I explain. "I called him when I did and he said he was getting a bit more settled and might come over in a bit."

He nods slowly. We're on the same page. I glance over my shoulder as if I'm being watched. It's a move out of a horror movie. The camera shows whatever is haunting the house over the character's shoulder and when they turn it's gone. Paranoia taunts them even though they know that thing is there.

My hands play with the sleeves of my hoodie. "He probably just didn't think you'd want to go. With the flight and getting settled and all that."

"Yeah," Jamie says. "Yeah, that's probably it."

I think Jamie can feel the ghost plaguing my mind too. I think he's thinking the same thing. Neither of us is willing to vocalize any thoughts about that idea. It's fine. We're fine. Everyone's fine.

He grabs the remote off the coffee table. "Want to watch a movie?"

* * * * *

We're on our second movie. Tills and Mira joined us right before. The movie is paused for a very passionate argument Matilde is making against no one. Honestly, I couldn't even tell you what the argument is or really what's going on in the movie.

The front door opens and closes. Tilly doesn't even come close to pausing. Jamie has a better view of the front door than me. I already know who it is even though my phone is on Do Not Disturb. I'm sure it's hiding the texts from Z telling me he's on his way. His teammate's worried glance doesn't ease my paranormal infestation.

"Wow, full house tonight, huh?" Trevor comments when he joins us all in the living room. He sits right next to me. I'm tucked into the corner of the couch, my legs stretched over Jamie's lap. My body betrays me by resting my head on Trevor's shoulder.

"Unofficial movie night," Tills says bitterly. "This movie is so incredibly stupid."

"Sorry, we kept the smart movie for before you two got home," I joke. The plan is to act as normal as possible. Keep my trust issues inside until my boyfriend actually gives me a reason to distrust him.

"We watched Happy Gilmore, Teags," Jamie corrects, making everyone laugh a little.

"This movie is so dumb," Tilly grits out.

"Yeah, it's actually tiring me out a bit," I lie smoothly, getting up a little ungracefully to sell it. "Gonna go to bed."

I don't need to turn around to know Trevor's followed me into my bedroom. The door clicks shut. It's not fast enough to keep the ghosts out. It traps them in here with us. They whisper things in my ear until I feel like a ticking bomb.

"Didn't realize Jimmy was coming over here," Trevor comments.

My hands keep busy in the closet, searching through for something lighter than the hoodie I have on. "Didn't realize either. Not like he had anywhere else to go. No dinner plans or anything."

"Just thought he'd be getting a bit more comfortable again," he says.

"Like you were?" My voice is cold and supernatural. "I'm guessing."

There's silence. Other than the ghosts. Those are louder than ever. That silence almost feeds the thoughts swirling around my head. Fuel to an already raging fire burning down everything around.

"Coke to bed, Tennessee," he says finally.

I turn around. Two ghosts stare at me from either side of my so far lovely boyfriend. A chill runs down my spine, it infects my soul and I realize I might even be the one haunting myself.

"Who'd you go to dinner with that's such a secret?"