Estranged | ✓

XXXV. her verdict

vanraj :

I jogged in through the glass doors, down to the reception.

"I need to meet Amit-"

"Vanraj ji?", I immediately turned.
Anupamaa stood, hands on her waist, in those casual track pants and a fluorescent green t shirt, wet with sweat, sipping water from her sipper.

Before I could say anything she jogged down to me and wrapped her arms around me.

"I was just thinking about you, and you are here.", She said smiling, resting her head on my chest.
She loved to hear my heartbeat.
My lips curved into a smile as I hugged her back.

My happiness.

"I just finished my classes for today.", She said as she released me.
"Well great—"
"Can we go out for a..", she paused, looking down,
"A date?", She asked.
She looked up, her eyes lit up with anticipation.

I had to meet Amit, but maybe I could do that later.

"Yes.", I replied with a smile.
"Okay.. just wait for a moment. I'll be back.", She said before rushing back into the large hallroom where the classes were held.
I drew in a deep breath.

After a moment she walked down, wearing another t shirt, and a hoodie over it.

Damn, the progression from sarees to hoodies.
But she looked beautiful nonetheless.

"Let's go, then.", She said as I nodded and we strode out.
"Down this street, there's an Indian restaurant. It's my favourite.", She said.

"Is everything okay? You look tensed.", She said.
"Yeah? Tensed? Ah.. no..", I said, trying to sound casual.
Since the thrill was slowly expiring, doubts had started re appearing.

What would happen to my family if I left the job?
There were so many expenses I had to bear.. even to find another job was a big deal..
And leaving a post as big as this wouldn't really make so look responsible or professional.
Plus, happiness can't buy food and lifestyle.

Anupamaa, as usual, saw more than I said, but chose to not ask further.

We walked into the restaurant and sat back at a seat.
It was relatively empty.
We ordered a vegetarian thali, I was personally thrilled after having to munch on chips and cakes for the last five years.

She started talking about how she enjoyed teaching dance, and how everyone was amazing and everything was lovely.

And my self doubt, self guilt, all started taking the centre stage.

•

anupamaa :

As much as I spoke, he seemed to pale.
He was barely eating, and weakly smiling.

Something had really gone wrong.
I just sensed it.
After eating, we stepped out of the restaurant.

"You know I read your eyes, don't you?", I asked softly.
"Hmm..", he said, not looking down at me, loosening his tie.

"Then why can't you tell me what happened.", I stated plainly.
He glanced at me once and then looked away.

I sighed.

"So you still don't trust me.", I said, it hurt honestly.
It hurt to realise even after confessions of love and everything, he refused to tell me things.

"Anu.. it's.."
"I want to know what it is.", I said.
He sighed.
We walked down to his car.
I climbed onto the seat beside the driver's and he sat at the driver's seat.
"Anu I-"

"If you are not telling, I am ending the notice period with a no-"
"No!", He said instantly.
"Then tell me.", I said sharply.
"Fine.. but after we are back home.", He stated sighing.

•

vanraj:

We sat in the bedroom of her apartment. The kids were made to go to sleep, and I had been casually avoiding any conversation.

Unfortunately, she had detected something was off and now I was left with no one choice but to say the truth.
Otherwise she said almost threatening that she'd leave.

After I recounted everything, there was a pause.

"And you chose to give up on your career for me?", She asked softly.
I was sitting beside her, back resting on the head of the bed.
"Yes.", I stated plainly.

"You know there's one problem—"
"I know, now you will say that you are ready to sacrifice and I should go on with my good life. But I don't want to! I am still thriving in the guilt of stopping you and—"

"And you expect me to crush your dreams and career to have mine?", She sounded almost spiteful.
"You want to sacrifice, good. But don't you think, you should know, if I need sacrifice?"

I drew in a deep breath.

"Anu I—"

"I am sorry, Mister Shah.", Her tone was serious now, "I am not ready to walk on a path of glass that was laid by the pieces of your shattered dreams. I would rather find myself a better dream, which no one destroy, than watch you go through ache for me. I require no sacrifices and no favours."

•••

Do you agree with her?