Estranged | ✓

XXXXIII. mila yun

anupamaa :

"And then you know! Winter said I am still small so I am stupid!", Pakhi said angrily, sounding like a little chirpy bird.

She stood on the dining table, before her Papa, complaining about Samar teasing her for the nth time.

"Very bad Samar.", Vanraj said in deep disapproval.
"But Papa, she is small and doesn't understand anything! She doesn't even know Spiderman!", Samar said in his defence.

Toshu sat beside Samar, looking strictly down at his plate. He refused to look up and I didn't find the will to say anything yet.
He should self analyse what he blurted in anger. I knew he realised he had gone too far and I wanted him to dwell in the guilt for a while before explaining.

I had strictly instructed Vanraj to not say a word, otherwise the man was ready to join his hands and apologize.

"I know Spiderman! You don't know anything!", Pakhi snapped.
"Huh! Papa ki Pari!", Samar said in annoyance as I walked down to the table with theplas.

"Mummy ka Para!", She said irritably.

Vanraj lifted her in his arms in one smooth move and made her sit on his lap.
"You shouldn't talk to your elder brother that way..", he said.
"Why? Toshu Bhai said so many bad things about you yesterday!", She said.

My heart skipped a beat.

I saw Vanraj's face pale instantly.
The hurt was back in his eyes.

"Pakhi. Enough of talking. Now eat, you have to go to school also.", I said in hope to deviate the topic.

"Yes! And tomorrow is parents day! Please, both of you will attend it!", Samar said instantly.

Toshu softly spoke, sounding almost guilty, "Yes... everytime it was only Mummy.. This time Papa can also attend.."
"Exactly!", Samar said.
Vanraj looked awkwardly.
He had been the typical man of the house doing nothing except earning.
Now was his chance to finally be a co parent with me.

He looked at me awkwardly.

"Handsome Papa.. please na.. I want to show off my extra hot Papa to my friends!", Pakhi said, literally standing up on his thights, as he held her my her waist.
"Everyone will be so jealous.", Her voice dropped to a cutely evil whisper.

As dramatic as ever.

His lips broke into a smile.
I could clearly see his bias towards his daughter and honestly, I somehow loved it.

"Okay.", He said finally, he softly kissed her forehead.
"I also want a forehead kiss!", Samar said stubbornly.
"Why? You have Mummy na!", Pakhi interjected instantly.
I edged close and kissed Samar's forehead. His face beamed.

"Exactly!", He said happily.
I glanced at Toshu who was now looking at his father longingly, as he played with Pakhi's hair.
And then he looked down, barely eating, hiding his tears of regret.

My heart ached.
As terrible as he might have been yesterday, it was very difficult to remain angry with your own children.
But I had to let him drown in that guilt for a while.

I glanced at the wall clock, realising it was time.

"Come on. Time for school!", I said as Pakhi hopped off her father onto the floor, feeling extremely proud of herself.
Samar and Toshu stood up.

Vanraj opened the door for them as he walked out.
He stood at the door as I joined him.

We escorted the children to the school bus.

While walking back, I felt him intwining his fingers with mine.
It still somehow sent a rush of hormones through me.

"So.. what about your dance trip?", He asked.
I held his hand.
"It's postponed to two weeks later. I'm going to lead.", I said with a smile.

Dreams do come true.

I looked up at him, as he too smiled. A true smile.
"And your office?"
"My boss called. He accepted that the company did have investments from underworld but I didn't need to worry, I can reoccupy my position with a salary hike.", He said.

"But.. isn't it dangerous?", I asked.
"Slightly, but you know your husband—"

He paused suddenly remembering.

"I-I mean boyfriend.", He mumbled.
I smiled at him.
He looked down at me.

"Anu.. will you ever take me back as your husband?", He asked softly.
I had thought about it for a while, but I realised there was still more to explore.

"I will. There's no one else I want. But not now.. I will myself propose to you when I time is right.", I said softly.
He nodded.

No questions, no stubbornness, just true acceptance and affection, without expectations.
Vanraj Shah had transformed.
He had lost the wish to control me, he wanted to be controlled.

Sometimes I wondered what would have happened if I didn't get to know about him and Rittika.
Would we have ever found love in each other?

The sun shone mildly over California. The breeze was cool. It was a beautiful ambience.

"Anu..", he said softly.
"Hmm.."
"You'll always love me this way? You'll never leave me na..", he said.
He sounded almost like a scared child.
"Never.", I replied with a smile.
"I couldn't leave you even after you didn't love me, what makes you think I'll leave now?"

He looked back at me with a grateful smile.
"Thank you for staying.", He whispered.
"Thank you for loving me back.", I replied.
He released my hand and placed his hand around my shoulder, pulling me towards himself as we walked.

Jo sapne sambhale
Wo tere hawale hai
Aa dekh le inhe zara
Badhi sansein iss tarah
Ki mausam badalne laga
Mila yun jaise bichda na tu..

•••

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