TLWM: The Hate Experience

\XIV/ The House in Eden Prairie

     They had me sitting in the chair across from them. Jerome and Terry on the couch, Jimmy leaning back on the arm. And yeah—it was an intervention. 'Cause the first thing said was "we love you", then came the "but".

"You can't marry her, dude," Jimmy said. "I'm still baffled that you got back with her."

"What are you talking about? Who said we were getting married?"

"Listen, Raven talks a lot. She's always coming up to the studio telling Jan your business. She said you keep asking her to marry you."

"So she exaggerates," I said. "So what?"

"Marrying her shouldn't even be on your mind. Why are you with her?"

In my head, I was telling myself to keep cool to keep from walking away.

"Because of Ace." Jerome said. "Right?"

Jimmy shook his head. "Look, man, I know you don't want some other man raising your son part-time but trust me, you won't even have to worry about that. Raven ain't the one, P. And I'm not saying she's a horrible person. But she's not for you."

I laughed, sitting up. "This is hilarious."

"Honey is bad," Jerome said tilting his head over his shoulder. "But man, she don't want all of this."

"What's all of this?" I asked, flailing my arms just as he did.

Jimmy cleared his throat. "Monogamy."

"Man, this is weird," Jerome said. "Weird that we're having this conversation with you. I hate to say it 'cause it seems like you really ready to finally settle down but please, not with her. Getting back with Raven isn't settling down. It's settling, just 'cause you don't want Ace living in two houses, and I get that but before she hurts you, walk away. She's not the same chick you dated years ago. She's been...you know..."

"Spit it out," I said, then looked at Terry. "You real quiet."

""Cause he got the real juice." Jerome hit his brother's arm. "Tell her."

Terry sighed. "Listen, I didn't know ya'll was serious back then and it only happened once, okay? And hardly at that."

I stood up and Jimmy did too, laughing with his arm held out in front of me. "Whoa, brother, calm down. Hear him out."

"I didn't even know if it was true that ya'll used to mess around," Terry said. "Jimmy said you was acting like you didn't know her."

"When?" I asked balling my fists.

"When what? When I got with her? Like a month or so after we shot Graffiti Bridge. And brother, it was nothing. We hardly did anything 'cause she stopped me. We were drunk, it was after a party and—"

To keep from punching him or Jimmy's wall, I turned and started my walk out.

"P, we ain't done talking." Jimmy was in my shadow. "Hear us out."

"I heard enough." With all the strength in me, I pulled the front door shut but Jimmy opened it back up and wouldn't quit. From the porch, he kept going, trying to get me to come back inside.

"Just watch her, P."

In my car, I started up the engine and reversed out of his driveway before touching my seatbelt. Thirty over the speed limit, I sped down the avenue.

It wasn't that my boy fucked my girl. It was Raven fucking my boy. Terry didn't know about us. No one really did, not how far it got. But she knew Terry and I were like family, distant, but still... And she never even told me. We had an hours-long conversation breaking each other down. She could've told me then.