TLWM: The Hate Experience

Interlude IV

Letty,

I never thought my first time writing u a letter would be when u're sleeping right beside me. Though u and I both dislike the phone, we've been good at taking advantage of it 2 close distance between us. But it's not distance pushing me 2 write u on this plane. It's indignity pushing me 2 write u on this plane.

It pains me that I dropped the key & allowed a vulture into ur safe space which in truth is also our baby's safe space. I know Marvin Gaye can't delete my actions. Neither can an orgasm or the masseuse I had waiting 4 u this morning. It's just my way of saying sorry over & over as I struggle 2 forgive myself. Seeing u angry like that really hurt me, baby.

My son is not a golden ticket. He's not a hall pass. He's not a vault code. Yet, that's how she sees him. She kept him from me until she was ready 4 me. Back when I met her, I still don't think there was any malice in her actions. She was young & moved with naivety. But the woman that called me a year ago, the seductress that she is now, is a very calculated one. It wasn't until I failed u that I noticed the thin line she still had hooked behind my back.

Act & React. She had me in a loop. I'm the "React". & though I React unkindly 2 her Acts, it's still something. But it took U 2 become the React 4 me 2 feel that thin line. & as of now, consider her cut off.

Boundaries will be set through actions. Just as it was before Ace got 2 NY, it's strictly business. Beyond this tour, it'll be the same. If we need 2 speak, it'll be about my son & when she tries 2 steer away from him, I will disconnect in every sense of the word.

& as far U? Ur pedestal sits so high she won't ever see u again.

U can't look at it as if u & she need 2 be in cahoots 2 raise ur stepson. U don't. U will raise him with me. & with her, it'll always be indirectly. U & I can't control how she runs her household or how she holds herself as a parent. In return, she has no control over here. I don't want u 2 ever be that combative with her again. & if she starts 2 try & push her way back 2 me, I may just need ur ear. I don't want u 2 ever feel like u need 2 approach another woman. Once was enough. & I know u didn't call her from a threatened place but I'll be damned if u gift her a reason 2 think otherwise.

Just love & support my son as u have been. Don't worry about anything else past that. We'll be good.

♥️

p.s. I can take a hint. I'm okay with u not coming 2 the rest of the shows. Don't want u there anyway. It's unfair how u suck up all my attention. U don't even pay 2 get in.