TLWM: The Hate Experience

\XXIII/ Acknowledge Me

Thursday/February 25, 1993/Los Angeles, CA

In the summer of '92, before tying myself down to Raven with impractical dreams of marriage and more babies, I was a single man and acting like one. So ever since Raven and I split last December, I tried doing that again—acting single. It wasn't easy though.

I went out, met new women and left with their number but I was still leaving the club alone. The honey chase wasn't as enticing anymore, only when I was running in Letty's shadow. But boy, could she run.

Before I left for L.A., she hardly wanted to give me a hug when I went down to the vault to say my goodbye. Pretending to suddenly remember it, she quickly pulled away to grab a notebook I left in the studio the night before. "Take it with you to L.A.," she said, "in case something good hits you on the plane." Then she handed me a Sony Microcassette Recorder. "It's mine, so don't lose it."

The 21st is when I arrived to Cali. The 23rd is when I finally got to call her. My primary business in the city was an appearance on The Arsenio Hall Show. That night after taping, Letty was on the phone asking how it went and when it would air.

"I think they said the 25th," I told her. "You gonna watch?"

"I'll set my VCR to record it. I doubt I'll be home."

"Where you gon' be?"

"You know where I'll be. Down in that basement." This was all we hardly got to say to each other. It was late and she was already in bed. She started wrapping up the call, saying she was going to sleep. "When are you coming back?"

"Next week. I don't know when though. I got a show at Glam Slam tomorrow night."

"'Kay. Well, I'll talk to you when I talk to you."

"'Kay." It felt like we both wanted to say more. But we left it at that. "Bye."

"Bye."

It was now Thursday and my fourth night in Los Angeles. Due to work keeping me busy, I still hadn't found a chance to call Letty for a second time. But the darker half of me was saying it ain't matter anyway. She'll never be anything more than a tease. Then there was the warmer half, replaying her private words. "I wait for his calls."

Per her expectations, it was too late to be calling her house but I did anyway. Jax didn't have a phone in his room and I didn't care about anyone else's sleep. But she didn't answer. It was almost 11 so the likely reason was that she was already knocked out, but my gut said she was still at Paisley Park.

I called the studios and security answered and confirmed she was still at it. "It's snowing really bad outside. They already closed schools so I think that's why she's still here."

"Well, you know you can't leave until she does, right?"

"Of course, sir."

"Put her on the phone for me please." When she came on, she sounded tired. "Go to my office and I'll call you on the phone upstairs."

"Why?"

"Privacy."

"But I'm in the middle of—"

"Go to my office. I need to talk to you."

"Sorry," she exhaled. "Okay."

"I'll call in 10 minutes."

The spare keys were in the vault with her. I didn't know what I needed to talk to her about. It was more so a want. But I was thinking it'd be nice to get somewhere beyond where we were. I was frustrated.