TLWM: The Hate Experience

Interlude III

Raven,

Haven't done this in a while, huh? I figured I'd rather write u than use a phone. And being alone with u isn't an option. I don't even know yet where they're moving u. But I have 2 get something off my chest.

I love you. Anyone who has heard my last album knows that. No matter how mad we are with each other, there's something between us that still lingers. Glimpses of it can probably be seen when we're together on stage. Again, I love you, but I'm not in love with u anymore. I need u 2 let me go.

Levi said I should've told u about Letty & I getting married instead of letting u hear it from ur mother & 4-yr-old son. He thinks maybe then u wouldn't have lost it & trashed the hotel room. They said u broke the bathroom mirror & cut ur hand real bad. I still find it hard 2 believe. The reaction sounds drastic. U always want me when I don't want u. That's how u know ur love is superficial. U just want me 'cause everyone else does. But that's cool 'cause I just love u 'cause my son does.

I admit that when u came back last year, I was forcing it. If it wasn't 4 Ace, I would've never given us another chance. The chance was 4 him, a chance 2 grow up in a household with both his parents. I thought it was the only healthy way being that my stepfather & I never got along. But thank God 4 the woman He has sent.

Ace loves Letty & she loves him just as much. If u didn't know, she has him and her nephew at my house for the weekend. They're making springtime gingerbread houses & plan on watching all the Star Wars movies. This is what I have 2 look forward 2. This is why I can't wait 2 get off this tour. 4 the first time in my life I have a real family waiting 4 me back home.

I'm only doing this tour 4 Ace. This show is all 4 him. I do want him 2 see that I did try. That his parents did love each other. But we would've never worked 'cause let's be real, it was me or ur career. The way u didn't give a shit about repairing trust between us says it all. U weren't willing 2 take a pause.

I 4gave u but TRUST was never coming back. And what's love without trust?

The era of u & I is over now. It was beautiful & ugly & in the end worth it. And they'll be talking about it forever. That's what u wanted, right? U wanted 2 be stamped in my history? U said u wanted all women 2 hate u since u have me. Well remember it was u who switched that up. U HAD me just like the rest of 'em. But remember who HAS me.

2 clarify, no I didn't run off & get married (yet). But yes, I told ur mother Letty is my wife because that is how everyone needs 2 perceive her. That is the respect I demand 4 her. & because I know how u are, don't bother trying 2 throw this in her face when she shows up in New York Wednesday. She already knows I'm writing u.

I hope u sleep well after reading this. I hope u forget me. I hope u let go.

-P

I can't believe u had a fax machine put in my room so I can receive your letter. I heard you sent someone to Shane to tell him to quit whatever he had going on with me. But why does a fake married man care?

I broke the mirror by smashing a hairdryer to it. I blacked out. I've been stressed and it's not all because of you so don't flatter yourself. I didn't trash the hotel room either. I don't know why they removed me but I know it'll sound bad if it hits the press so I do apologize. But if I don't sleep well tonight it'll be because of the pain in my hand, not you.

GOODNIGHT.

U signed a contract, right? 'Cause Shane is running his mouth 2 the crew about his "special" night with u. Just like I put a stop 2 u doing interviews, I can break ur boy toys as well. After April 15th, u can lay with my guitar tech 2 for all I care. But until then, u're mine. So ACT like it.

SIR,

You have so much nerve. I will FUCK who I want to FUCK. Is Letty being stingy with you? Why are you so worried about me? You want me to come over? Is that it? I'm yours? So then fuck me like I'm yours.

Ain't ur hand hurting?

Call my room, PUNK. Actually, let me come to you. I want to hear you say that shit to my face.

Say what 2 ur face?

That I'm yours. I would love to come by and ACT like I'm yours. We're good at that. Remember the night of my birthday?

Barely.

Ha!! Like you could ever forget. You're mad because of Shane. I know you're pissed because you just wrote me a long ass letter. But it was nothing serious with him. I made up my mind a long time ago that if it's not you then it's no one. And that still stands. How would I even look going from Prince to Prince's drum tech? I'm just having a good time. I'm single. Let me be or let me come over.

Where did you go? It's only midnight. I know you're up. Still thinking about it? I know what you want and it's fine. You're not married yet. But even if you were, it's still yours. Hate to admit that. And the way you play The Blue Angel every night has me thinking you're still mine too. I don't want to fight with you. I just want a night with you. But I guess it's too late for that. Right?

Sorry. I'm tipsy. I was drinking to knock out this pain. But I love you too. Goodnight.

Don't fall asleep. Answer ur phone in 10 min.