Circle of Life

34.

Continuation...

It was a lovely and peaceful surrounding yet the raging emotions inside the two was a chaos.

"Then tell me anak, let us understand you. Ipaliwanag mo saakin, saamin. What do we need to do? Let us heal that pain, I'm here now anak oh", irene said as multiple streams of liquids started to fall to their rossy and bumby cheeks.

"It's not that easy all you're is not that easy to give", Zoey lost out of control.

"And seeing you earlier made me wonder and ponder! How could you leave me? You all had the capability? Sana ako yun diba? What if hindi niyo alo pinapampon? What if Hindi niyo Ako binigay Kay mommy? Would I be this jealous now?!", she asked firmly.

"Would I be in this state now if you didn't do it? Would I be like this? Feeling the pain inside and at the same time feeling guilty? I don't know why I should I feel that way. But it hurts, it hurts seeing you like that and it also hurt that I am hurting right now. Everything was a mess in me", she cried. Irene couldn't contain her emotions but she feels the pain her daughter is bursting out right now.

"Anak you don't have to feel that way", she stated not knowing what to say next.

"How couldn't I?! I should have experienced that too right? But I didn't. Ikaw dapat 'yun and not mommy. I was over the moon. Okay na Ako because I feel so loved, I had a mother who cared and loved me. Pero ano 'yun? That wasn't mommy, it was supposed to be you", she ranted and ranted out.

"Anak-k please unde---", she was about to say something when zoey didn't let her finish her sentence and interjected.

"How can I understand when I don't have any single idea nor detail of my identity?! Bakit niyo Ako binigay Kay mommy!!!", She said in frustration as she pulled her hair.

"Tell me please explain it to me kase ang hirap intindihin, ang hirap to the extent na hindi ko alam how to accept it all and even welcome you all. Ang saya maging parte ng pamilya niyo peru ang sakit isipin that all those years natiis niyo ako to be with them well okay lang naman because mommy and daddy had given me the best life. I felt too perfect noon but one night you all will shatter me into pieces, I was so broke and in pain now na hindi ko alam how to move on. I'm grieving and finding peace to forgive you, ayoko ng ganito kase hindi ako ito", she added for now she just wanted answers and clarifications to all the questions running through her head.

"I hate you! I hate you all", she said and was about to turn around as Irene froze in silent just looking at her state.

Irene pulled back herself all together, she knows that it's now or never.

"Piper bear", irene stated before zoey could run her gaze went back to where when she heard it.

When zoey was able to read already, emmeline gave a box containing many letters as well as jewelry gifts that didn't fit her anymore as it was for a baby and infant jewelry.

Emmeline does always remind Zoey to keep those things as the person who gave those is a very special part and person of her life.
It would always be, "hello my piper bear", "from mom".

"Galing sayo ang mga yon?", She asked. Still processing everything.

Irene was all aware that zoey had kept those, emmeline told her. "Having you was the best of me anak, you were our christmas gift way back. After years of praying I finally had you.  You don't know how happy I was when I found out that I was having you it was on a cloud nine feeling but there are unexpected happenings na biglang nangyari.", she started while holding back her tears looking directly at Zoey.

"I was so stressed back then and you were at risk that time I chose you kaya ako pumunta kay ate emmeline, I left them all because of pain hatred and disappointment. It's hard to explain in details now anak", Sabi Niya at napatigil fixing herself not to have the meltdown.