Freedom [Complete, 18+]

CHAPTER 6: PINKIE PROMISE (KITTY'S POINT OF VIEW)

Awaking from a rare deep sleep that only a certain pair of arms could cause, I smiled as I realised to whom those arms belonged: Matt. It wasn't the first time that we had slept in the same bed but never had we become so entwined. And never had I enjoyed it as much despite being in hospital. I had been woken several times over the night but it was still the best night's sleep I'd had in a long while.

The sudden halt in movement had woken me and as I slowly blinked away the sleep I took in how his arms wrapped around me at an awkward angle having been trapped by my sleeping arms clinging subconsciously. My heart raced when I took in just where exactly his right hand, warm and large as it was, rested. I blushed and hoped he didn't notice the rapid increase in pulse as my heart thumped right beneath his palm. His trapped hand rested lightly against my breast though for a second I hoped that it would massage it instead. I blushed at the thought but didn't move my hand away regardless for I wanted to remain in his embrace and be able to pretend for just a few moments longer. I eliminated the thought for trying to get back to sleep, now wide awake but unfortunately not very comfortable. I tried to adjust my position, moving as little as possible so he wouldn't know I was awake but after a few moments I felt him stiffen behind me. I didn't stop though since pins and needles were now shooting around in my upper thigh that was pressed against the bed. Shifting to a new position I suddenly noticed something poking me in the bum and turning brick red I was glad I was facing away. 

Don't think too much about it idiot. It's not for you, he's probably just dreaming about some fantastic blond hoe he had the other day or maybe it was hoes who knows he could have had a threesome or foursome...My mental babble only made me more and more upset until I steeled myself with determination and decided to see what would happen if I just continued...I could only hurt myself by building my hopes up, he's asleep! I tell myself as I try and turn my getting comfortable into more of a rubbing. Who was I kidding, seducing Matt? He just saw me as a little sister. I was about to give up since it wasn't working when a low guttural groan erupts from the chest behind me and I freeze under hands that had unexpectedly gripped my hips.  

For the second time in mere minutes I was glad that he could not see my face so I wouldn't have to look him in the eye just yet, although I knew that it wouldn't be long before I did. His hands still hadn't released my hips and his excitement certainly hadn't changed as I could still feel it pressed against me. His grip which halted my movement made no move to push me away but rather kept me frozen. I would have thought I was lying in bed with a corpse if it wasn't for the seemingly strained rising and falling of his chest which was especially strained when breathing in after becoming pressed harder against me for the slightest moment.

I opened and closed my mouth several times, words not coming to me. I had no idea how to approach the situation that I had foolishly created. You stupid idiot! Why oh why did you just do that? He doesn't see you like that and he never will. You'll just push him away. You won't even be friends anymore and then what will you have? That's right absolutely nothing. Why didn't you just think before you acted? Water filled my eyes as I berated myself further and I rapidly blinked them away before they could fall. Resolved to save at least a friendship I muttered a morning as if I had just woken, oblivious to the situation. Forcing a smile onto my face, though he still couldn't see it, I tried again.

  "Matt?...You alright?" I asked after several moments, my concern increasing by the seconds that stretched on like minutes and even hours. 

  "Kitty...wwwhhhah," a slightly bewildered Matt attempted to reply.

Shifting up the bed slightly as I couldn't move much at all, I took a deep breath to prepare myself and then slowly turned around to face him. His grip loosened ever so slightly allowing the movement but remained there as if to reassure himself that I was still there or something.

 Reaching up I hesitated briefly before touching his slightly bristly jaw line. Without much pressure so I didn't force him if he didn't want to, I turned his head towards me. Looking into his apprehensive eyes I forced a small smile onto my lips to reassure him but knowing him, he no doubt saw straight through it and started mumbling what sounded like profuse apologies.

See. He's shocked and embarrassed because he never saw you that way. 

I tried to stop his apologies but he wouldn't let me get a word in. 

 "Stop!" I almost yelled making him flinch and release his hold on me. He pulled away further and prepared to get off the bed. His back to me, he mumbled just loud enough for me to hear, "I get it...don't worrrry...I'llll leave now." 

His voice wavered for the first time since I'd known him. Alarmed I automatically reached for him, managing to grab hold of his hand. No! He can't leave, I'll never get him back. Fear gripped me and overrode my sense of embarrassment as I stuttered out "no...don't go...please, don't leave me!" Knowing and not caring that I was begging, I tried desperately to keep in the tears as water started to pool in my eyes. 

Sighing deeply Matt settled back down and tentatively reached out as if to pat me but hesitated not knowing where to touch. I laughed hysterically at the gesture and launched onto his lap instead, throwing my arms around his neck. Shocked, Matt steadied me before pulling my newly wet hair from my face. He rubbed lightly up and down my back but I could only mumble out for him not to leave me over and over. 

 "Shush Kitty. It's alright I'm not going anywhere..."

"Yyyyou promise?" I asked through my hiccups, clutching at his shoulders.

"Yes Kitty I promise," Matt said as he squeezed me tighter. I tried to control my heaving tears, feeling slightly foolish for my outburst but could only keep them from sounding out. The tears still rocking through my body made Matt start apologising all over again. 

"I'm so sorry Kitty, you don't know how much..." he began but I cut him off with a shake of my head. 

I pulled back so I could look at him directly and said "Matt this wasn't your fault. It was all me, if I hadn't of...Anyway I'm the one who should be sorry. I know you don't..." the words caught in my throat and I was unable to finish them, unable to voice them out loud. 

 Releasing another sigh as Matt continued to look at me, his face turned resigned and he brushed the remaining hair out of my face. 

"Why don't we agree that it was no-one's fault and...put it in the past? Forget about it?" He whispered, his gaze locked solidly on mine.

The sun illuminated the side of his face, golden highlights shining in his ruffled, bed hair. His thick eyebrows were scrunched together from the situation, the frown the only thing marking his otherwise perfect tanned face. Everyone fell in love with him: first by his looks and then by his generous nature, though many didn't take the latter as being more important. Anyone could have a pretty face either via nature or by human modification but a beautiful heart was much rarer. Before I could stop myself I blurted "Is that what you want?"

As soon as the words left my mouth I realised how stupid it sounded. Of course that's how he wanted it, why would someone like him ever be interested in someone like me for more than friendship?

  A strange expression crossed his face and as if he suddenly came to a decision. He looked directly into my eyes in a way that made my blood seem to stop in my veins and my heart went into overdrive, pounding so loudly in my chest that I was afraid that he would hear it. Lungs burning, I sucked in a deep breath of air that was concentrated with his distinct scent; a woody scent I would recognise anywhere.

  "Kitty...I. I want to tell you something. But...first I want you to promise me something, will you do that?" he questioned pausing between sentences.

I could feel myself frown, curious at what he would say but agreed nonetheless. "Of course what is it?"

  "Um, I want you to promise me that no matter what I say next that we can still be as close as we are now." As if expecting me to interrupt as I opened my mouth he repeated "no matter what" and held up his little finger, and with a glint in his eyes he said "pinkie promise, remember."

 Wrapping my even smaller finger around his he slowly closed his over mine; memories of when we had done this when we were younger making me smile. Looking up from our entwined fingers I whispered "I promise."