Freedom [Complete, 18+]

CHAPTER 18: FREEDOM SHORT-LIVED

THREE YEARS LATER

Silence so deafening I fear that I have lost my sense of hearing. Alone in the darkness; I fear that I have lost all sense of humanity as they left no other choice but to revert to primal survival instincts making you do things you would never dream you could even think of doing. At first being alone in the dark terrified me but I quickly learned that being alone and so cold that you couldn't move was by far the better alternative than if they came for you. Sir was nothing in comparison. It made me sick to think that I had often wished that I still was with him instead. At least he had loved me and though I hated to admit it there were times that I was actually happy but he was long gone. 

Ever since the power shift took place, bad decision after bad decision was made and although I and many others suffered from it at least their business wouldn't survive for much longer after I was gone. 

Empty space compressed the already cramped, unventilated room. Unseeing eyes piled higher and wider filling the room with the stench of the slow decomposition of rotting flesh. Flesh which once held together girls, girls whose life had ended so suddenly when they were no longer deemed useful or were too severely punished. Girls both willing and non-willing to the service joined the pile regardless, some of which I had come to befriend. The constant renewal of flesh and bones thrown into the darkness was the newest form of punishment and warning mixed into one for the few which remained but eventually I was the only one left. 

Not even deemed worthy to have last rights, the girls were just left in the dark where they had been held for their remaining moments of their lives. As they left this Earth, most left behind families unaware that their loved ones no longer saw the ceiling above their open eyes. At the start I often wondered what my own family and Matt thought had happened to me but now I couldn't even remember what they looked like.

As anyone else in my position I had fought back in hope of a better life; to feel a fresh breeze on my face, grass between my toes and smell blossoming flowers at my fingertips but I soon discovered long ago that it was desperate hope: desperate and pointless. The image of a joyous summer at the lake; of childhood friends, splashing, uncontrollable laughter jogging full to burst bellies; that was once so clear as if seen through a high-megapixel camera, turned dim long ago. Dim and faded as if the camera was going back in time; becoming less in focus, then less in brightness, then in monotone, then fading altogether...into nothing: an abyss where many other memories were dragged without consent to fall away. 

Not having heard a whimper or a cry in a long time, I knew my time was up and that after me, there would be no more adding to the pile. I was thankful for the end nearing so I wouldn't have to suffer for much longer and I could meet again those that I loved in heaven, especially her making me smile as I thought about holding her in my arms once more. A dark thought took root in my mind which was hard to shake as the fear that I wouldn't be heading to heaven after all that I have done, no matter if it was unwillingly. It did not really matter though if I could breach those pearly gates or not for I was already in hell so anything would be an improvement. Arms wrapped around my knees as I pressed into the corner furthest from all the bodies I closed my eyes and prayed that I wouldn't wake up again...

Blinding light: that was the first thing I remembered when they said I was safe. At first I thought I had managed it, managed to get to heaven but I was very much mistaken. For a moment though I thought I had made it and had desperately called out for her, wanting to see her again after she was ripped from my arms way too soon. Excitement deflated, I flinched away from the light which shone painfully into my eyes for the first time for what felt like years. The now familiar sound of life-ending bullets ripping into bodies followed by the distinctive thud of the fallen as they slumped to the floor, devoid of all life, echoed in my ears as I shook my head disorientated by the light and sudden deafening sounds. 

A soft voice repeated over and over that I was safe but saying that I was safe and the actuality of it was an entirely different thing. They, whose uniform once was a sense of comfort, of safety, draped a jacket over my shoulders like a blanket though he raised his hands in surrender when I flinched away. It took me a while to realise that they were speaking to me but after both men's gaze remained fixed on me it was apparent they had asked a question. 

"W...what?" My voice hoarse from not using it in so long. No-one had wanted to hear me speak, that's not what they paid for, and crying for it to stop had long since left my lips as it only resulted in punishment. Ears still ringing I rested my head back against the mouldy wall for support as I took in the man who crouched before me as the other stood facing away, hand on a large gun, ready for whoever was left.

"Is there anyone else down here alive, miss?" With the harsh reminder that I was the only one indeed left alive I slowly shook my head though I soon stopped when it made me feel dizzy.

"Okay lets head out then," he said as he reached for me slowly. 

I didn't know how he was expecting me to follow him since I barely had enough strength to lift an arm, let alone put one foot in front of another without feeling like I had run a mile so traversing the stairs seemed like a marathon and way beyond my ability. 

Pulling me up to my feet despite my attempt to move away from his reach, my legs gave way instantly and for the first time in a long time I was saved from pain when quick reflexes stopped me from crashing to the floor where I had spent so much of my time. The man who still had a hold of my arm tried to help me walk but that proved unsuccessful especially when he tried to steady me by placing a hand on my waist only for me to cringe away. His grip wasn't even too hard, just enough to lend support, but that didn't matter as repeated damage inflected to my ribs followed by insufficient healing had left me with chronic pain that never really went away so even the slightest of pressure was agony. I couldn't really protest when he just gave up as head showed more kindness to me than any man had for years. I was prepared to just sink back down to the floor but it seemed that wasn't his intention as he scooped me up into his arms. He tried to be gentle: an unusual thing in this world I had barely survived, apologising profusely every time I whimpered. 

As they moved through the house I surprised myself as the site of bloodshed no longer affected me, after all what did it matter. What did anything matter: she was gone, nothing else could be worse than that. She was gone forever...

I cringed from the sudden onslaught of unnatural light that bled into the darkness. Numerous cars surrounded the estate, flashing lights illuminating my prison of three years. The man holding me said something but the words seemed too slow to follow and I couldn't grasp what he was saying. My head felt too heavy and not having the strength to hold it up any longer I let it drop back, wincing as my neck got over extended. The new angle let my eyes take in the swarming mass of uniforms and unknown faces before they too closed. I felt urgent movement as if the man carrying me was rushing somewhere or to someone as I finally succumbed to the ever pleasant darkness but that no longer mattered to me.