Freedom [Complete, 18+]

CHAPTER 16: COUNTDOWN

The following few weeks dragged on; only being let out of the bedroom when he was in the house and even then I had to accompany him wherever he was as he wouldn't let me out of his touch. The new restrictions the result of a loud and violent recent disturbance downstairs which despite questioning endlessly I never found out what really happened. It was becoming more and frequent for him to come back from God knows where, blood splatters marring his otherwise crisp white shirts. Mutterings from his men only increased my sense of unease. He artfully deflected my questions and directed instead to other less pleasant things: for me anyway. Nonetheless, he kept his promise and went no further than he had gone previously. He grew more and more restless as the days grew longer with the heat of the rapidly approaching summer, and it was plain to see that with each day his impatience was growing as I refused to give in. At the start he was so confident that I would love him if he waited but that confidence was fraying. It terrified me to think of what would happen when he finally snapped as I knew that no matter how long I was forced to stay, I would never willingly give in to him. I wasn't ready and I don't think I ever will be, even if I was rescued, not after to this. How could I ever...be with someone like that...to be able to trust them enough for that? 

It was the middle of the day and the sun was at its highest point, seemingly seconds away beginning its slow plummet towards the horizon. I watched as a flock of birds flew suddenly from the trees, disturbed from their resting places as I lay curled up on the freshly installed bay window seating. I wish I could be a bird, free to fly anywhere and from anything or anyone but alas it was impossible. Hugging my knees to my bruised chest; I barely held in the tremors that still racked my frame from the morning's encounter that had refreshed old bruises. He always apologised profusely whenever he discovered bruises and was especially sweet for days after and presented me with expensive jewels. It didn't make up for anything though and I didn't know how much longer I could last before I shattered completely. 

Hearing the door open behind me, my spine stiffened automatically despite trying to pretend that I didn't realise that he was back. Each footfall landed, loud as a giants, as they came closer and closer to where I sat trembling. Don't react, don't react. I kept on muttering to myself over and over. I had quickly discovered that reacting only earned far worse treatment which is why I now sat in one of several skimpy dresses he had supplied. Memories of past consequences came to mind as he placed his roughened hands lightly over my eyes. 

"Guess who?" He asked light-heartedly, his strong cologne overpowering my senses, making my head ache and the room spin as a bout of dizziness hit me.

"You sweetheart." I was barely able to utter them without a stutter or just being mumbled but knowing how much he hated it when I did made them come out without a hitch. 

"Yes it is baby. I came home to surprise you. Are your hungry, do you want some lunch?" His returning home from work scene was one of his favourites he liked to act through and I faked a smile as wide as I could.

He picked me up as if I weighed nothing and placed me on his lap as he often did. I had lost a noticeable amount of weight since I'd been taken as I hadn't been eating that much no matter how much was brought. At first it wasn't intentionally as circumstances drained my appetite but as time wore on I realised that if sharp objects were kept away it was the only way I could escape from here. Food kept you alive and I didn't want to be. The downside of my slow self-starvation was the consequent decline in my strength, so even if I wanted to fight his advance it grew more and more useless as I couldn't even push him away slightly. 

Remembering that he had asked me a question, I quickly shook my head but stopped as spots invaded my field of vision. I returned my gaze out of the window, desperately wishing once again to be free and not have to remain motionless to his advance for fear of repercussions. I knew that if I was freed I would never let anyone tell me what to do ever again. I would move out, to escape from under my parents' thumbs and never stop until I found the freedom and happiness. It was a farfetched dream that became obvious was never going to happen as he kissed down my neck and his hands moved freely over my body that no longer seemed to belong to me. The only way I was leaving this house was in a polished jar or coffin and even then I wouldn't put it past him to hoard my remains as well.