Stars

19. Stalker

JJ had left by the time I had gotten out the bathroom after finally composing myself and stopped sobbing. I was so upset over this small thing and it was stupid I knew that but I couldn't help it, my mind raced with thoughts I really shouldn't be thinking, thoughts about hurting this Ella girl or how I could get rid of her. She didn't deserve JJ, he's kind, caring, passionate, funny and so unpredictable and impulsive but in a good way, he was just so fun to be around and a stupid bimbo like Ella didn't deserve him.

You know what I'm going surfing anyway, I don't even care that im going on my own. I just need to get out and go and have some fun for once. I picked up my surf board and made my way downstairs. That's when I remembered. " Sawyer, When's Caroline going to be back?" I'm still grounded so I'm going to have to be careful that I don't get caught and god knows what would happen if she caught me. "Their coming back about 5pm so you have time but don't be out too late incase you get caught and whatever you do stay away from figure eight. They are sure to be around here." I nodded at Sawyer as I continued to go outside to my truck.
I blasted my music and started singing as I sped out of the drive way.

'I'm never gonna let you close me, even when you mean the most to me, cause everytime I open up it hurts, so I'm never gonna get to close to you, even when I mean the most to you, incase you go and leave me in dirt, but everytime you hurt me the less that I cry, and everytime you leave me the quicker these tears dry'

I thought about the lyrics to the song I was singing and it was true. I didn't want to get to close to JJ incase I get hurt anymore than I already have today. I really liked him but I had to accept that he didn't like me back and i need to keep a little distance from him to protect myself.

I can't force anything with JJ as much as I wanted more because it could ruin things between us and as long as JJ wasn't distant with me I think I can handle being around him knowing he doesn't feel the same way I do. Its the fact that if he changes the way he acts towards, that i was scared of.

I hopped out my truck slamming the door behind me and got out my surf board from my back seat. I did have a stand on my truck roof but I was too short to reach it so unless I was with one of the boys I just put it on my back seat.

The feeling of the water on my body felt so refreshing as it was a really hot day today, we were already half way through the summer nearly and I wanted to make the most of it. I swam quite far out on my board to get away from the few people in the water and unfortunately one of those people were agent Smith on a fricking jet ski. 'This is just my luck' I huffed to myself.

Along as he keeps his distance from me and doesn't try anything I'll be fine but if he does, i may or may not flip out.
I made sure to stay as far away from him as possible, stood up on my broad and hit the first wave. I had this built up anger in me today so I took it all out on the waves and I was hoping it would make me feel better about the situation with JJ.

Random screams came out of my mouth from the rage I was feeling but it felt so good to just let it all out through my voice. There was alot built up though from all the shit I have been through this summer.

"Damn Ren, what's all the shouting about." I sat down on my board and saw Pope swimming over to me. "Hey Pope, sorry about that, I'm just taking all of my anger out I have seemed to built up lately." I explained with an awkward chuckle. Pope stared at me for a second and tilted his head. "Well can I join, I got some steam to blow off too today?" I chuckled at him. "Yes of course, so whats got you all riled up huh?" We both sat opposite each other on our boards.

"Just feel like I'm being over worked with my paps you know, like its summer and he's got me out here working everyday. Then my mom wants me to still study here and there over the summer so my grades will be extra high the minute I get back to school." He sighed as we both looked out into the sea. "Damn that's tough man."