Never Be the Same

Part 1

Stella lay beside her husband, watching him sleep. She was running her finger around his face, his jaw, his lips, and his neck. She smiled at him as he slept. She missed waking up next to him. It was the first morning in six weeks that she had got to wake up next to him. His arms were still around her waist; he was holding her close. After about four rounds of making love, they fell asleep in each other's arms. Stella's mind wandered back to the past year. She thought about how life is a beautiful thing; your entire life can change in a year. And boy has the past year been a hell of a ride, at least in Stella's eyes.

A year ago, she married the love of her life, her safe place, her protector, and her world. This past year, she has been shot at while running through the woods holding her husband's hand; she had a gun in her face as she lay on the ground scared to move, and he saved her; she was involved in an explosion, and he saved her again.

She was in the hospital, and he never left her side. She started having nightmares about the explosion, and he was there, checking on her, reassuring her she was okay, and calming her down just with his touch.

They had a disagreement that almost led them to work different shifts, just because she couldn't control herself when he was in danger. She learned that he too can unravel when it comes to her that has never happened to him before. He is not a robot; he is as scared of losing her as she is of him.

An out-of-the-blue academy training opportunity came up, and he jumped at the chance. She didn't understand at the time why it was so important and why he didn't consider her opinion inconsiderate. She thought she was missing something like she'd done something to cause him to jump on the first flight to Alabama.

She spent the first two weeks that he was gone blaming herself. He called her every day and texted her throughout the day, but she kept feeling like she was missing something. She never told anyone how she truly felt about him leaving. She kept it buried inside.

She and her truck guys got involved in a gang shooting, and bullets were flying all around her. That call had her worked up, even though she told Boden she was fine. It wasn't till she went to Kelly's office so he could calm her down that she found Cruz sitting in his chair, which was a gut-wrenching punch in the stomach for her. She forgot for a moment that he wasn't there. She told Cruz that coming to Kelly's office after a call like that was on instinct, it hit her when she saw their wedding picture on his desk. The next thing she knows, she's unloading on Cruz about how she feels about her husband's sudden departure.

She was so embarrassed by her little breakdown with Cruz that she had to apologize to him. He told her it was fine, and he also told her, "I've never seen two people more perfect for each other than you and Severide." Those words brought her so much peace. That night, she and Kelly made a plan for her to come to see him.

Her short trip was definitely what she needed. Seeing her husband was the comfort she was missing. She told him how she was feeling, and he assured her that his decision had nothing to do with her. She wasn't missing anything; the training program was a great opportunity for him and 51. The weekend was perfect but leaving was hard. She cried the whole flight home.

She came back home to an empty loft, but she was in better spirits now that she got to see her husband, and they had talked about everything. The weeks passed by so slowly that she thought she was going crazy counting down the days till his return.

She got a little depressed as their first wedding anniversary was approaching. He was still in Alabama; he kept telling her he would be home by then. But she had her doubts. Their anniversary day rolled around, and just as she feared he was still in Alabama, he was trying to get home. But the weather kept that from happening. She didn't want to spend the day without him. She was upset about the situation; she knew he couldn't control the weather. She just didn't want to go another day without him.