Never Be the Same

Part 17

Stella lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. It's two in the morning, and she's wide awake. Her mind has been nonstop since Kim and Adam's unexpected visit. She told Kelly last night when he came upstairs to check on her, that she was fine. And she really thought she was, but once she laid down and closed her eyes, she was taken back to her childhood home, a place she hated, a place she rarely ever thinks about. A place she at one time loved, but after her grandmother died, life for her changed drastically. Her grandmother was her protector, her person, her guidance, her strength, the only person who loved her, supported her, and cared about her well-being. No one ever loved her as her grandma did, that is until Kelly came along. She smiles as she looks over and sees her husband sleeping peacefully. She touches his cheek softly, just for a second.

She sighs as she slowly gets out of bed. She goes to the closet and walks inside, turning on the light. And for some reason, she is rummaging around on the top shelf, looking for her box of personal stuff—stuff that she keeps but won't let anyone see. She is unsure why she got the sudden urge to pull the box out. She pulls it down and sits on the closet floor, opening it up. But then it catches her eye—a small, old, tattered red-colored book with a peace sign on the front. It was her grandma's journal.

A sigh escapes her lips. She stares at the book, not sure why she had the urge to get it down; she can't even remember the last time she opened it. She wants to open it, but she doesn't know if she's mentally prepared to go down that road again after hearing that her mom wants her to come to see her, and the thoughts of their last conversation are invading her mind. She opens the book and reads the poem out loud. "My dearest pumpkin, Once upon a time, when I asked God for an angel, he sent me you. You are the beat of my heart. The happiness in my life and the energy of my soul Always remember how much I love you. As you grow older, you will face many obstacles in life. Stay strong, be confident, and just do your best. Don't be afraid to chase your dreams. No matter when the pages of my life come to an end, Know that I love you, and I believe in you. I promise you that even in my death, I will keep you protected from evil. Please keep pushing on and never let anyone break your spirit. I love you, Stella; you will always be my little pumpkin. Love Grandma K."

These words go straight to her heart and choke her up. She is now sitting in her walk-in closet, crying and missing her grandma. She's so lost in her tears and thoughts of her grandma that she doesn't even notice Kelly coming to find her. She feels his thumb wipe away her tears. "Did I wake you?"

"No, I subconsciously reached for you and came up empty. When I sat up, I saw the closet light on, and I came to check on you, my little pumpkin." He teased.

She smiles and blushes; no one knows about that nickname. "That was the nickname my grandma gave me; she said when I was born, my face looked like a little pumpkin. She was the only one allowed to call me that."

"Sorry, I won't call you that again." He told her as he sat down beside her.

"I liked it, so you can call me that; my grandma would have loved you. Did you hear what she wrote to me?"

"I did; it sounds like she loved you a lot."

"She did; she was everything to me; no one loved me or supported me like she did. Well, till you entered my life, sometimes I thought my grandma had a hand in you and I finding each other. She knew you were perfect for me and that you would always love me, take care of me, and support me. And be there for me."

"Always, till death do us part," Kelly tells her as he grabs her hand. "What is that?" He asked, looking at the red book in her hand.

"My grandma's journal; she wrote down recipes, her thoughts and stuff about me, and things she wanted me to remember, poems, all kinds of things."