Lava | Ninjago

🜃 | let go

[sorry if it sucks, im kind of not feeling writing right now... that's why i wrote this, actually. bored, nothing to do, and my will to write being at freezing point is obviously the perfect time to write something and then publish it. also, its almost midnight again and I'm not ready for tomorrow...]

*

It's chilling to the touch
Never liked it much
And now you won't let go...

*

Why did the universe hate him? How has he angered it so much, it kept doing all those things to him? All of it was unfair, it was all so not fair! He kept trying and trying, over and over he put on a smile and helped anyone near him. It came as second nature the majority of the time. And still, the universe kept fucking him over, there were no other words for it.

Cole frowned at the picture in his hands. His mother's smile was so similar to the one he saw every day in the mirror. Her eyes, her eyebrows, her hair... he was her copy. Along with the powers he found himself unable to live without. He had to watch himself, otherwise, the frame would crack like an eggshell. Sometimes being strong came as a disadvantage.

Some tears burned their way down his cheeks but he vehemently ignored them. They didn't matter to him, he shed gallons of those through the years already.

Why him?

There came a knock on the door, disturbing the earth ninja from his aggressive staring contest with an old photo. He looked up and called out that whoever came, may enter. His eyes were met with Nya's as she stepped in, careful as if he was a bomb ready to blow the place up. Cole looked back at the frame, somewhat expecting her to say something he didn't want to hear.

"He wants to talk to you." Yup. He was, indeed, correct. She watched him shake his head. It took quite a bit of will to not get angry with him. Of course she understood his behaviour, but she also couldn't watch her friend make a mistake he could regret for the rest of his life.

"Cole, please–"

"I can't do it, Nya," he jumped, breaking her sentence.

"Cole, I know what it's like, but–"

"I'm sorry," he said slowly, holding his own frustration back, "but you have no idea what it's like. You lost your parents but you weren't watching them leave you. You weren't going to sleep every night wondering if this was the last time you will talk to them. And you had–" That was his own time to stop. Even thinking about the name made his stomach do backflips. Thinking about those three letters made the picture pop up in his mind and then it all broke down like a house of cards.

His companion remained silent while his own words echoed through the empty halls of his brain. The tears came rolling at a faster pace.

"I can't go through this again. I can't– Why? Nya, why? And him out of all people... I wouldn't wish it on anyone else, ever, but Kai." The mention of the name rang through the room like a gunshot. "He doesn't deserve it. It's not fair, Nya. Why him? Why did it have to be him?"

Nya looked down, the pent-up frustration wearing off. They were all broken, finding escape in anger outbursts. Maybe that was the fire ninja's impact as well.

"Life's a bitch," she proclaimed for the hundredth time. "He doesn't care about who you are as a person and what you do. He just takes the shot. Because someone has to."

"It's just–" A sob ended his sentence early. Cole covered his face with his free hand, sobbing into it without trying to hide it anymore. What was the point? He didn't have the power to be the strong one anymore. He didn't have the will.

The mattress under him shifted as the water ninja took a seat next to him, taking the man in her arms, and allowing him to cry. They sat there for some time like that, Nya silently rocking him back and forth, rubbing his back, while Cole cried into his hand and later into her clothes. The picture was left on the bed behind them, Nya placed it there before it managed to slip out of Cole's fingers.

The younger sibling also shed some tears. It was exhausting, crying all the time. Zane had to force them to drink water to keep everyone hydrated. Ironic, considering she was the water ninja. There were times she felt burning rage watching the life-giving liquid swirl on its own.

"Talk to him, please, pebble, he talks about you all the time, he misses you... I'm scared the regret will eat you alive. Enjoy the time you have with him. You always make him smile so much... Make memories, Cole, now's the time. Please."

The room was quiet after that.

.

He had to muster up all of his inner strength – and there wasn't much left of it – to open the door. His chest was heavy and his eyes were burning already but he blinked it away. From the aggressively red bed, a huge grin lit up the room.

"Cole!" Kai exclaimed and waved excitedly. "Dude I haven't seen you in ages, come here." Following the wild gestures, Cole took a seat in the chair that was kept by the bed. Kai turned to him, his smile never faltering, not even upon seeing Cole's gloomy expression from up close. The red ninja's cheeks were flushed, which was way more visible now that they were pale, his eyes twinkled... He was happy and Cole wanted to cry. He wanted to see him like that forever, just without the beeping and the symptoms.

Kai took his hand, radiating off so much energy. Who would've guessed, with the clock ticking nearer and nearer that the fire ninja would be able of that? Every time he went to sleep, all Cole saw was his weak body slowly falling down, down, down the black tunnel.

"Why didn't you come earlier?"

"I was... busy."

"Helping Wu?"

"... Yeah, that too." Upon realising his smile might seem too forced, Cole decided to drop it. That lasted for a few seconds. He wanted to be happy, he wanted to also be excited to see the other man but he just... wasn't able to. All of the emotions were sucked out of him after hearing the diagnosis, all that was left were tears and quick flashes of anger.

Kai decided that to make up for the lost time, they will spend the day together. That left different kinds of wrappers and crumbles all around the area. They watched so many movies and played so many games they couldn't pay attention to the TV anymore. It just hummed to itself, the colourful flashes catching their eyes every so often. Now, that their energy was even more under the zero bar, they focused on each other.

During their conversations, Cole almost managed to forget about everything else and for a few moments, he was... happy. He laughed and actually smiled! Kai did that! For a few short moments, Cole thought it was just another regular day. Just the two of them, spending time together. Everything seemed all right, the way it was meant to be.

Then Kai fell asleep, still clutching Cole's hand in his own. The earth ninja watched him, so content, so peaceful... His chest moved up and down as the air came in and out of his slightly agape mouth.

Breathing out, the thoughts came flooding back. They won't be able to pretend forever. But Nya was right, they created some new, nice memories and Cole will cherish them along with the others forever.

However, seeing Kai's bright smile sparked a glimmer of hope. There was still some time, Wu still had some scrolls left to go through...

Maybe, just maybe they could beat death once more. And maybe it was selfish, but after sacrificing everything for the world, doesn't one deserve something too? Even if it's just a few more years with the fireball of a ninja.

Cole fell asleep hunched over in the chair, refusing to let go of Kai's hand. He will never let go.