If you grew up in a small town, you know what it means to know everyone and have everyone know you. Everyone knows every heartbreak, every heartfelt moment. Often times, the townspeople knew more about your business that you did. And it was no diffe...
I hated that I had all these questions flipping around in my head. Even more, I hated that I couldn't run these thoughts by Harper because if I did, I knew what she would tell me to do. She would tell me to chase the dream that I had wanted for so long, even if it meant that she wasn't part of that dream. And sure, I know that years ago Harper had not wanted to come with me to college, to leave Woodington, but even I knew that after all these years, that wasn't going to change just because she and I were seeing each other again. She had made a life here. She knew where she wanted to be and was happy. Hell for that matter, I'm happy here.
But even as happy as I am, I can't help but wonder if turning down this opportunity would be a mistake. No, pitching coach isn't the dream I had for myself but being employed by the Braves has always been.
But so was having a life with Harper.
With a frustrated sigh, I ripped my hat from my head and tossed it onto the head of my truck before placing my arms on the hood and resting my head on them. Why? Why when I was finally happy, did this have to come up now? Just when I could see the life I wanted clearly, this had to be dropped into my lap, teasing me and forcing me to choose between the sport I loved and the woman I couldn't see spending the rest of my life without.
The dinging of my phone pulled me from the war that was going on inside my head. But seeing Harper's name on the screen did little to ease the pain I was feeling. Nor did the flirty picture message that filled my screen. If anything, it just made the war rage harder.
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Harper: Candles are lit, Bath is hot. Just waiting for you 😀
As much as my body craved to be with her, I knew my head wasn't in a safe place to do so. She would know with one look at me that something was wrong. And until I was one hundred percent sure of the decision I needed to make, I needed some time to get my head in the right place, to be able to hide from her what was going on. So as much as it pained me, I sent her a reply, telling her that I couldn't make it tonight. Her reply was almost instant.
Harper: Is something wrong?
Dawson: just tired and still have a bunch to catch up on. See you tomorrow?
Harper: Yeah 🥹
Seeing that emoji with tears in the eyes was almost enough to make me say fuck it and go over there but if she was already about to cry, the news I had was only going to be worse. I just hoped that I had a decision made by tomorrow –or at least gathered the nerve to tell her what was going on and hope to god that she didn't tell me to jump at the chance I was given.
Not wanting the conversation to end there, I typed out a quick message telling her goodnight and to dream of me. I was not prepared for the ache that her response left me with.
