My Wildest Dreams

Chapter Fourteen

**NOTE**

For anyone that has already read this chapter, there was a small edit to the time frame, no major changes. ~J

Harper's POV

After leaving the shop, I went home but found it impossible to stay there. In just a few days, my home had so many memories of Dawson and I that I couldn't even stand at my kitchen sink and not think about all that I could possibly be losing if he chose to take that job with the Braves. But more than that, the look that had been on his face as I drove away haunted me, making my heart physically hurt. Every part of me wanted to go back to him, to sit with him and just be near him, but I knew that if I did, I would always wonder if my being there influenced his decision. Because the good lord knew better than anyone that if we were in a room alone with one another for more that five minutes, clothes seemed to just fall off.

So, instead of giving in to what I wanted, I climbed in my Jeep and headed out of town, my music blaring as a form of therapy.

Once I made it to Cedarville –the closest thing to a big city within 50 miles of home– I drove around town, looking for something to do that didn't involve a bunch of people. But then it hit me. There was one person I wanted to see; my mamaw.

Over the years, she was one of the people that I could talk to about anything. In fact it had been her that encouraged me to tell Dawson how I felt about him way back in our ninth grade year. I still remember her telling me that she knew from the first day that Dawson and I had played together that we would end up as a couple, that we just had that made-in-heaven connection. I knew that she would tell me that everything was going to be fine, that Dawson and I would figure this out. The only problem with all of that was that she died my sophomore year of high schoolI which meant I could talk to her gravestone until I was blue in the face but I still wasn't going to hear her tell me what I desperately needed to hear. Best I could hope for was a sign.

As I approached my mamaw's resting place, I slowed to a crawl, a sense of peace and calm washing over me. Most people might think it was weird to want to spend time talking to a gravestone –especially when the sun was starting to set, making the beautiful grounds of the cemetery that spooky vibe– but the way I looked at it, it was the perfect chance to let you say what you needed to without having to pay a shrink or worry about someone judging you for your thought process.

Coming to a stop, I switched off the engine and walked to the back of my Jeep. Grabbing the blanket I kept in the back, I walked over to mamaw's plot and spread it out before sitting down on it. I took a few minutes to wipe away the grass clippings and leaves, and to arrange her flowers before I started in.

"Hey mamaw," I said, kissing two of my fingers before touching the black granite stone. "Been a rough day and I just needed to talk to you. Pretty sure I don't have to tell you what's going on in my life since I know you're up there watching over all of us but I sure do wish you were here so I could talk to you about everything, get your opinion on what I should do about all of this."

"Things with Dawson and I have been so fast that my head is spinning. I don't have to tell you that it feels like a serious case of deja vu to be dealing with all of this again. But unlike when I was a teen who wanted to see Dawson have hsi dreams come true, I feel selfish wanting him to stay here with me. I want to tell him not to go. But at the same time, I don't want to feel like he's only staying because I want him to. If he stays, I want it to be because he wants to, because he wants to have a life with me. I don't want him to wake up in ten years and regret not taking the chance to have his dream come true. He says that I am his dream, that he wants a life with me and even asked me if I would leave Woodington even though he already knew the answer. He knows that I love my little town and that I don't want to be part of the reason that it sees its population begin to decrease all over again.