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"missing you"
a jaquinee brown and jayquan mckinely story
2/6/2023 7:54 PM JAQUIE'S APARTMENT . HER BEDROOM .
jaquinee's point of view/mindset
i held onto the decorative pillow that sat onto my bed as i cried deeply.
today marked a year that i lost 'jayquan' and my heart hurt deeply. he was my best friend, my heart, my soul, and even though we weren't technically together he was still my lover. he was such a great soul and personality and he didn't deserve this.
it hurt my heart going on without him and with it being a year it doesn't seem real. it doesn't feel real knowing that i went a year without him. although it wasn't easy i still tried to push through for him knowing he was my guardian angel and he not only watched over me but the block as well and i hope he's proud.
i've been to myself since his passing aside from the funeral and events dedicated to his name but, i really just didn't feel like things would be the same. the guys and a few girls from the block checked on me and i'd always tell them 'i'm okay' but, i'm not.
and sometimes i would tell Dougie or Setty how i felt and occasionally Kay or Blu but, really i just tried to stay enclosed. when i did leave the house it would be to go see his family. i laid back thinking of all the moments we had together.
<---- flashback <-----
"put me down" i screamed holding onto jayquan's arms
"say you give in" he looked at me
i looked over at my friends who were shaking their head no.
"bet" he said before jumping
i quickly held my breath while feeling my body being pulled under water and arms move from around my waist. i pulled myself to the top and tried to touch the ground when i realized i couldn't. my eyes made contact with the sign seeing the '8 ft' sign.
"grab her, she can't swim" malani screamed
i held my breath, somewhat paddling trying to keep myself up and move closer to the wall of the pool at least. i felt arms around my waist and a force pulling me closer to '3 ft' . i was sat on the stairs seeing more bodies around me.
