Mrs Scuderi

chapter forty five

I know there's a lot of time skips but sue me, i wasn't planning on making this book this long :(((

One year later...

Fabiana's Pov
"Is the baby okay? And the mother too?" I ask impatiently because i drove them here and I wouldn't stop blaming myself if something went wrong. "I'm really sorry, we did everything we could but the mother didn't make it,"she says shuttering every broken piece of my heart that's left. Why did I let her go? I should have been there with her instead of that stupid meeting. "Can I see them?" I ask with tears already welding up in my eyes. She's lying motionless on that operating bed with a nurse holding the baby in her arms all wrapped up. "It's a girl,"she says handing her over to me and whisper things to her under my face mask.

She's so innocent and new and clueless of how her mother fought for both their lives but only hers was saved. Why didn't she just listen to me and stay here with me where they couldn't find her or hurt her? By the time they've walked me through the whole process and even directed me to where i can get pamphlets on how to be a single parent and getting a person to nurse the baby, I'm already tired. Why am I losing people i care about? I feel my phone ring and i already know who it is but it's not.

"Where are you? I just got to the hospital," she says worriedly and i can't believe she dropped everything she was doing because of my distress call. "I'm outside the nursery 101,"i say and she hangs up probably to find me faster and she does. She finds me standing there watching the little infant through the glass window not knowing what the next step is. Well i do know what it is but I'm i even prepared for it?

"What did the doctor say? Where's Havi?"she asks impatiently reminding me once again my sister is dead. She was screaming at me a few hours ago and now she's dead. "She didn't make it,"i say and she just hugs me without saying a word. Not letting go like she's waiting for me to tell her that she can but i don't want to. I can't remember the last time she hugged me for more than a second because she's keeping boundaries. My hands find their way to to her upper back cautiously so she doesn't pull away. It's like the universe is punishing me both slowly and painfully.

We're interrupted by her phone ringing and she pulls away to pick it up, no doubt it's work. "I'm at work why?"she lies catching my attention. She never lies. "Are you tracking me? You know what we'll talk about this later, i need to go,"she says hanging up and she's also stressed about something,i can tell.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah don't worry about it,"she says flashing me one of her just in case smiles. "So what are you going to do? Are you ready to be a parent?,"she asks slapping me with the reality of things. "I don't know Amelia,"i say genuinely. I haven't even processed my sister's death and now i have to think about that little human's wellbeing? She shouldn't have gotten involved with a gang member because they only care about themselves. Why did she have to go after him when he said he clearly didn't want anything to do with her? Bringing her to London was a mistake.

"Hey it's okay, we'll figure things out,"she says and it's the we that calms me down a bit. We haven't been as close of friends as before but i can see the change since she agreed to Freya's proposal. It was a slap to my face because i knew i was going there for her birthday and Ophelia practically insisted on me showing up. That was the night she pulled me aside and asked me one last time if i still had feelings for her and i said no. I lied and because of that she said yes to her. I wanted so much to say yes but i needed her to move on from me even though I hadn't.

I never have. Honestly i don't know why she's nice to me despite what I've put her best friend through. She's currently helping me fill in forms because I'm still in shock and processing,when we hear her name being called out. "Amelia what are you doing here with her?" She asks fuming but I don't even want to get in between what's going on. "Freya this a freaking hospital, we'll talk about this later I'm doing something,"she says using her 'oh so help god if you don't get the hint' tone and even i was terrified of it.

"I'm not leaving you with her so we're leaving,"

"Trust me you should be more worried about being alone with her like this right now," i say still staring at the tiled wall knowing how ruthless she can be when someone tells her what to do. I should know. By now the nurses are looking over to us watching the whole thing unfold. "I'm gonna go get some fresh air,"i say getting up. "I'll come with you,"she says standing up as well and i can see the look of betrayal in her fiancee's eyes.

"So you are choosing her over me?"

"Freya it's just air, or you're going to forbid me? and you should have thought it through before coming here uninvited, if i wanted you to come with me i would have told you,"she says walking past me and I kind of feel sorry for her despite her feeding her insecurities. Why go for a woman you know you can't handle though? She walks away to the direction she came from and i remember i had some fresh air to get. I find Amelia there still busy with the forms, filling them aggressively. "I'd hate to be that piece of paper,"i say and she scoffs as i sit in the empty space next to her.

"She thinks I'm cheating on her with you,"

"i already got that,"

"I'm tired of reassuring her that I'm not because she tracked me all the way here,"

"she what? That's an alerting move on her part,"i say genuinely. She got the girl, she got my dream and she's busy throwing it away? "Although I would be the same if i wasn't over the fact that the person i love is at the level where they're friends with a person they have history with,"i say defending the bastard. I care about this woman so much I'd do anything to make her happy, even if it's convincing her that she made the right choice saying yes to her. I guess that's what my dad wanted me to learn all this time. That love is unconditional and timeless and letting someone go doesn't mean you love them any less.

"But where she trust? I've already shown her that there's nothing going on goddamnit!" She looses it but quickly recovers and goes back to the forms.

We sit in silence after that and when she's done with the forms we go back in and there Joanna is. See, i even forget i have a girlfriend around her. "Baby are you okay? I almost got into an accident coming here,"she says and there it is, we're the extras in her story and she's the main character. Why am I still with her? Her face drops when she sees Amelia at the reception talking to the nurse and explaining something. "Why is she here?"she asks but in a genuinely curious tone and i should be asking her the same question but then again Freya is her cousin.

"Hey Joanna,"she says once she's done and I'm relieved that i had her helping me with this or i would have lost my mind. "Hey Amelia,"she says smiling. "So i talked to the nurses and they say you need to talk to the doctor so he can guide you through everything. Call me if anything,"she says and i can feel her eyes on me at the call me part. I don't want her to go just yet but i can't keep her here forever. Wait till I break the news to Joanna that she's going to be a mom. She walks away and i watch her disappear into the hallway but not before turning back and giving me one last look.

"Can't your brother take her?"she asks trying to sound polite but it's already telling me alot just by the question. "No i can't put that burden on him. And i wasn't asking i was telling you,"i say already irritated.

"Baby I'm just worried about you, are you ready to be a parent?"

"Why wouldn't I be? And even if i wasn't I'll figure it out but that baby deserves the world,"i say. I don't need her anyway and I've always wanted kids and my little niece is no different,plus i have all the means to support her. The doctor calls me before she can say anything else and she should be grateful because that conversation would have made us both single.

"Miss Scuderi you need to sign papers that you'll be responsible for this child so she can be released...a nursing woman will also be assigned like you asked,"

"But i didn't-"

"you submitted forms earlier and requested for one,"she says showing me the forms Amelia filled. How am I supposed to get over how she makes me feel when she's constantly showing me what caring about a person unconditionally is?