Had To Be You

Arms around |Ch : 33

I take in a long breath. I feel my heart sink to my feet. Oh god. Please don't let it be what I think it is. I don't know why but I approach the door and lock it from inside.

Maybe because of the strong urge to just fall to the ground and cry. I'm gonna fall apart real bad. I don't want anyone to see me like that. I sit by the corner of the bed. Every word that I just saw on that text just keeps coming back to my eyes. Again and again and again.

"Evelyn?!" A very familiar voice knocks on the door. "You in there?" his voice cuts through the loud music but it couldn't cut through the words in my mind. I want to hear that voice so bad, but an unexplainable fear wrapped my heart.

The fear that he might say something that I don't want to hear. But I don't understand any of this. We were having such a great time before leaving for the party. And by great time I mean, the freaking amazing kisses and the other stuff.

"Evelyn! Answer me!" His voice snaps me out of the nightmare. "You okay?!" He bangs on the door, really hard. I want to scream. I'm NOT!

How will I face him? I'll cry my ass out if I see him. Imma hold him and bloody beg him to not leave me.

Damn it. I hate this. I hate how much I fear losing him. Why does this feel so difficult?

"Evelyn! Answer me god damn it!" Two more really loud bangs on the door. "Evelyn! open the goddamn door!"

"I'm fine! I'm fine." I lie, I slowly take myself to the door and put my head against it, my palms lay on the door as well. I don't think I'll be able to touch him again. That feeling of touching his body, rubbing his arms, hugging him, having him close to my body will never be the same.

I won't let myself feel that again. But I have to open the door now, or he'll keep screaming and banging on it. I slowly open the door.

He waits for a fraction of seconds for me to completely open the door. Then barges in, wrapping his strong, broad arms around me. His tall figure completely covers me. I feel the warmth. And the urge to cry.

I wish you would've left her sooner. I start breathing heavily. The feeling of lump in my throat won't go away. He tightly hugs me. I feel his hands rubbing the back of my head.

I don't understand.

He pulls away, cups my cheeks with both his hands and scans every inch of my skin before looking straight into my eyes. "You okay?"

I gulp. "Yeah. I'm- fine." I try my best not to look him in the eyes, I don't wanna burst into tears. "Uh, I wasn't feeling that well, so I thought maybe I should lay down, for a while." I say looking here and there, pointing at the bed.

"God you scared me." He lets go of a deep sigh.

"I guess I should go home y'know. We have school tomorrow." I say while rubbing my forehead. "I'm gonna have the worst headache."

"Oh. okay, if that's what you want." He sounds a bit unhappy, or maybe he's just bluffing. I don't know what to believe anymore. "Come I'll drive you home."

"Sure." I offer him a fake smile.

~*~*~*~*~*~

I just wanna stay like this the whole day. I'm not ready for school. Not ready to face Liam. I doubt I'll ever be.

I get up almost dragging myself to the washroom and clean up. I take a long warm bath, to calm myself down, which apparently didn't work as much as I expected it to. I get out of the washroom and get dressed for school.

I wear a brown cropped hoodie and light blue ripped jeans. Go downstairs to find mum preparing breakfast. I would've been happy about the breakfast usually, but today wasn't usual. I was in no mood for pancakes.