Paint It... Potter?

Aftermath

He didn't want to wake up, not even as he felt the bed sink near his feet. It was too much to face the world outside of the protection of dreams.

Dreams could be nice, they could be an okay childhood memory, or a dinner without shouting, or a quidditch match, or a night with Evan and Barty. Dreams could be a quiet afternoon with the girls, a trip to Hogsmeade. Dreams could be his secret world, pure and untainted.

But Dreams could also be his own private hell. They could be nightmares. They could be drowning. The lake. Or a night on the floor in Grimauld place. It could be the nights filled with his brother's screams, gritting his teeth knowing he couldn't stop it. But, the thing was those weren't nightmares, those were real life.

And so Regulus preferred dreams. He preferred the safety that could be found in the confines of his own thoughts. Even so, he knew he had to wake up. He opened his eyes silently cursing the light he was met with. He turned his head, already knowing would would be waiting for him.

"Oh, you're awake." James said. It was officially too late to pretend. Regulus nodded not trusting his voice. And not knowing what to say.

"I'm sorry about last night." James said quickly. He looked to his hands. He was playing with something,  snitch. Hime rolled between his hands, fingers running over the carvings.

"Why?" Regulus asked

"I'm not really sure." James said squinting a bit, eyes focused on the small object. "Lily fill you in then?"

"Yeah," Regulus said again. His one-word answers would only take him so far.

"Sorry for pushing you, you're okay?" James asked his eyebrows knit together in a caring expression.

"I'm fine." Regulus assured him.

"Sorry, I just had to get you out of there. Moony was out, and Padfoot caught your scent and I just had to get you out I-"

" James, "Regulus interrupted." I know, and I'm fine, " he held his hands up as if to show that he was unharmed. James nodded swallowing deeply.

"Regulus, why did you come here?"  James asked.  "You've been avoiding me like the bloody plague for weeks and then I show up after the moon and you're in my bloody bed." James sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

" I mean what's going on  Reg, I thought you hated me." So did I, Regulus thought to himself. But James seemed impossible to hate.

"I don't know James."

"You need to figure that out then." James said slightly agitated. "Because I know what I want."

"I'm trying." Regulus said pulling his knees up to his chest. " everything is just so complicated."

"It doesn't have to be" James said turning to face him, legs crossed on the bed.

"The world is a war James." Regulus tried to get through.how could anything good happen between the two of them in this fucked up world.

"And why should that affect how you feel." James said rolling his eyes.

"It doesn't, it just affects how I can act." Regulus spoke.

"Then forget about it." James said moving closer.

"We couldn't be together. My parents would never allow it." Regulus told him shaking his head.

"They wouldn't have to know."

"Everyone would know James." It would be nearly impossible to hide. James didn't love quietly, and Regulus didn't want him to.