Ben x Jeff

They Don't Deserve You

No one's p.o.v

Jeff & Ben were at the mall, wearing their top notch disguises so they weren't recognized by anyone. They were on a mission: to blow a bunch of cash on presents for Nix and their friends.
"Hey do you think they'd like this?" Ben asked, holding up a mini backpack with a bunch of small skulls and party hats printed on it.
Jeff nodded. "Yeah, it seems like their style." Jeff said, looking at some other stuff they had in the store.
Ben smiled "we're getting it then! We still have to search for binders though" he said, a bit frustrated. Every store they've went into, about 5 different clothing stores, had no chest binders whatsoever.
"It's okay we can always order it somewhere" Jeff shrugged, walking over to his distressed elf.
"Alrightt" he said, grabbing a couple other things his friends would like as well. They've already had over 3 bags worth of stuff, what's spending a little more money?
"Hey I was thinking, what about we separate and buy each other gifts? We've been shopping for everyone else so might as well play not-so-secret santa" Jeff suggested.
Ben nodded "that's a good idea! But we have to be careful. Who knows what crazy assholes are out here" He said.
"Don't worry, I doubt anything will happen again. And if anything, we're good at our job if you catch my drift." Jeff said, giving him a small wink.
Ben rolled his eyes. "Still, lets try not to make a scene" he said.
"Don't worry we'll both be fine" Jeff said, kissing the other's head.
Once they paid for their stuff, they split ways to go get each other gifts.

Nix's p.o.v

Toby took me outside and he started teaching me the proper way to hold hatchets and how to throw them, along with some other cool tricks. I had some trouble, but I'm getting better with it.
I took one last throw at a target on a tree before going to sit down and drink some water. Swinging my arm all day is definitely tiring.
Toby came and sat down next to me. "You doing okay kid?"
"Yeah, just need a break" I said. "So..why are you here?" I asked. I was genuinely curious as to how everyone ended up here. I've just been too nervous to ask.
"Well, um. Let's just say I was in the same situation as you, except with my dad." He told me. "It was rough back at that house, lost my sister in a car crash, mom was too scared to do anything, or she didn't give a shit, and dad.." He started to tic a bit while speaking. "Dad was the worst of them. He always beat us and got drunk. So, I did what I had to do after Lyra died." He said.
"..im sorry." I said, not knowing what else to say.
He shrugged at my words and ruffled my hair "don't worry, that was a really long time ago kid. I'm doing much better now. It beats my old life at least" he said with a smile.
I smiled back and looked at the clouds that were almost blocked out by tree leaves. But I could still see faint shapes and pictures they made. I thought about my mom, if I could even call her that. I feel bad for leaving her, yeah. But she had somewhat good intentions, didn't she? She housed me, fed me, made sure I did well in school. She loved me for so many things, but..why did one thing about me, the most important thing, push her away? Why was she so..angry when I came out to her? I didn't do anything wrong. I wasn't even violent. So why is my identity such a fuss for her? And my cat. Poor vex, I don't know where she is. I'm so worried about her. That lady did get me away from a life that probably wouldn't be good for me, but she took one of my most comforting companions. I don't even know if I'll ever even see her again..
"Hey, kid you alright? Talk to me." Toby said, snapping me out of my thoughts. Only then, I realized tears were spilling from my eyes. I didn't even notice I had started crying while lost in my thoughts. I didn't feel like saying anything, I didn't wanna say anything.
But I choked out the words in the most normal, non-shakey voice I could speak in.
"I'm fine" I said, attempting to wipe my eyes, but the tears just kept coming. So many things circling my mind.
Then I felt him pull me close and hug me. A genuine, comforting hug. Not like the forced ones my mom used to give when I messed something up. No, this was a 'I understand, kid. It's okay' hug. I just let it out on him, I sobbed uncontrollably, curling myself up into a ball, wanting to feel like no one could see me.
"Why didn't she like me?! I did everything right, I swear! I always went to school, I didn't even skip on sick days! I got straight As, I did my chores and my homework, I was a lead in the choir, why couldn't she just like me for who I am?! I did everything she asked! Everything! Why wasn't it good enough?!?!" I yelled out, clinging to one of his arms that wrapped around me.
"It wasn't that you weren't good enough. It's because she wanted you to be the version of her she could never be. Like a second chance." He said in a soft voice. "But I'm telling you right now kid, you're no ones second chance. You're not something they can mold themselves, you're not a program they can code. You're someone they could only ever dream of becoming and it's important you stick to your own identity. No one else's." He continued to hold me as I cried. His voice low and comforting, a hint of hurt in his voice. And a bit of anger.
"I just wanted her to love me! I just..I wanted her to love me.." I sobbed out, my breathing now very unsteady and quick, eyes puffy, nose stuffed.
"I know kid, I know. You didn't need her approval and you never did. You're here now with us and I promise we'll take care of you, teach you everything she couldn't." He started, "it's always tough being new here, trust me I know. But you'll be just fine. I can promise no one will ever harm you again, even if I have to bash their skulls in myself." He told me.
I couldn't say anything else after that. I just let it all out, crying and sobbing.

Toby's p.o.v

This poor kid..I hate how cruel people can be. And to a child nonetheless. At least I was out of middle school by the time I got here. But Nix didn't deserve to deal with this. I will make sure nothing like this ever happens again to them. Even if it means I have to get my hands dirty, no matter the cost. I held them as they sobbed and tried my best to comfort them. It really hurts me to see them in the position I was all those years ago. I remember how it felt leaving behind a place you knew your entire life and entering a new one so suddenly. You may have left it all behind, but the trauma is still there. That's something not a lot of people understand. But I'm not a lot of people. I'll get them through this, the same way Masky helped me. The same way my sister protected me. I will try my best.
I no longer hear crying, but quiet snoring. I look down at Nix to see them sleeping in my arms. I didn't wanna wake them up so I got them in a more comfortable position and stayed there with them for awhile. And just for a moment, a single quick moment, I could see Lyra standing up ahead with a smile on her face. I couldn't tell if it was real or not, but I knew what she was thinking, and what she told me before she left.
"I'm so proud of you Tobes."