'tis the damn season

Ten: The Lucky One (Taylor's Version)

"And they'll tell you that you're lucky but you're so confused, 'cause you don't feel pretty, you just feel used" 

Eleanor's house was packed with people. And it definitely wasn't my kind of scene.

I'd been to a few high school parties last year when I lived in Indianapolis, but none of them were this elaborate. Everyone was in costume, and honestly I was secretly thanking Robin for making me wear one because I really would have stuck out without it.

Eleanor was rich. She had a huge, three story house with a double car garage and an in-ground pool in the backyard. Steve said there was something like five bedrooms in here. I decided to avoid asking him how he knew that.

We've been here for just over two hours, and I wasn't completely hating it. I stuck with Robin while Steve went off and did his own thing. Robin and I drank a bit, but we'd both decided we weren't in the mood to be super drunk. I'd had three drinks, and was feeling a comfortable buzz, and that was enough for me. I saw lots of people I used to go to school with. Not many people recognized me, and even if they did, they didn't come up to me. I could just tell by the look on their faces. The long stares and narrowed eyelids. Like they knew me, but could quite put a finger on my name.

Robin and I sat on the back deck on a couple of loungers by the pool. Some people were swimming, others standing around the grass, or in the hot tub, but most of the people were inside, where the music was blaring and the lights were bright.

"Okay, what if you had to choose between only eating breakfast foods for the rest of your life, or only eating dinner foods?" Robin asks, before taking a sip from her plastic cup.

We'd been bouncing questions like this back and forth for half an hour now.

I sigh, also taking a sip of my drink. "Dinner for sure. There's very few breakfast foods that I actually like," I answer confidently. "Most days I skip it."

She nods in agreement. "Me too, and there's more options for dinner."

I crinkle my nose remembering one of my favourite foods of all time is a breakfast food. "But I love french toast, I'm not sure I could live without it," I add, falling back onto the chair.

I was a light weight. Maybe three was too many.

"I think I need water," I say, getting up. "The alcohol's getting to me I can feel it. Do you want one too?" I ask Robin.

She shakes her head, motioning to the bottle of water next to her on the chair. "No I've got one."

"Okay, I'll be right back," I say, getting up to take my empty cup with me.

I slide open the glass door leading to the dining room, and turn to my left, heading towards the kitchen, bumping into a couple people on the way. I hated how crowded and loud it was in here.

Maybe it would be different if I were friends with more of them. Maybe the problem was that they were strangers. There used to be a small part of me that thought I could have had fun at one of these parties; That maybe if I had just put myself out there a little, school in Hawkins wouldn't have been so bad for me. Of course, I never stepped out of that box. Never put myself out there. I'm not sure what I expected.

I knock into someone taller than me as I make it to the kitchens island, and they end up accidentally bumping the halo on my head, so it almost fell off in front of my face. Before I can fix it, someone else has taken it off, putting it back where it's meant to be, for me.

I look up to see those same piercing blue eyes from earlier today.

"It's nice to see you again Lauren," Billy smiles, leaning against the counter next to us.