Without You

chapter twenty

ZANE

I'M FUCKING seething for so many different reasons.

The idea of her going on a date, for some reason makes my heart burn a little. Then the audacity the fucker has to not even show for it, makes me want to cave his head in. And lastly the fact that Callie is sat in front of me looking like that, is making my thoughts scatter.

With her hair all bouncy and shit, with her clothes hugging her curves tightly and with her face looking so angelic.

He could've had all that and he chose not to? Is he okay in the head? Is he fucking blind? I mean even a blind man would fall at her feet. A small part of me is relieved though, that she's here with me and not him. I mean here with us and not him, because he obviosuly doesn't deserve her.

We move to sit on a table just by the bar and I can tell that Callie is upset and probably wants to go home but the thought of her being alone tonight pisses me off.

"I really should go home." She protests and I roll my eyes.

"We can all go home together in a few hours." I place a drink that I just bought in front of her. "Now drink up."

For the next few hours we all drink copious amounts of strong alcohol and end up completely hammered in a McDonalds. We lost Mikey somewhere along the way, I think he's with his cousin.

I watch Callie ask she happily eats her chicken nuggets and then her McFlurry.

"Stop looking at me like that." She tells me.

"Like what?" I question, eating some more of my fries.

"Intensely." Callie elaborates and I frown. I was looking at her that intensely.

"Fine I'll stop." I tell her but don't change anything.

"You know I didn't even want to go tonight, but I thought I'd give him a chance and see where things would go. He was the one who asked me out and he was the one that confirmed we were still on for tonight. So why didn't he show? You're a guy, any guesses?"

If I ever get my hands on this guy I will actually break both of his arms and his legs and maybe give him a concussion. Definitely a concussion.

I sigh, "I wish I knew Callie. He must have not known what he was missing out on because I can't think of a single reason why anyone would stand you up." I tell her honestly and she nods slowly.

"But he did." Her eyes shine with tears and my jaw locks.

"And it hurts." She finishes and my heart aches for her. She's been through so much and she gives someone a chance and this is what they do.

I take her hands gently in mine and rub my thumb over the top while I try and find the right words to comfort her with.

"Do you think it's my fault? Do you think I just attract the worst guys?" Callie asks me and a tear runs down her pink flushed cheek.

"Oh sweetheart, it's not your fault at all. It's all on them." I attempt to assure her despite my cloudy mind.

"I'm sorry, the last thing you probably want to be doing right now is comforting me." She pulls her hands away and wipes her teary eyes.

"Stop worrying about what I want Callie, I'm happy enough to be here with you all night if that's what you want."

Callie frowns at my words and shakes her head. "But that's not what I want. I want to sit in the apartment with the cookies that I made the other day and I want to watch the Grand Budapest Hotel again in my pyjamas with my soft throw blanket."

"Let's go then." I say and before I know it we're back at our apartment.

We part ways to get changed and I throw on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. When I walk back into the lounge I find Callie wrapped up in several soft blankets with a plate of cookies in her hand.

I smile at the sight and clumsily sit down next to her. We have sobered up a bit we're definetly still drunk.

We start watching the movie and I steal a few cookies from her plate and they are fucking amazing. İ have to make her make these again when I can fully appreaciate them.

I notice that Callie's shivering despite her layers and several blankets and my brain decides to do the most logical thing it can think of in it's current state and it makes me pull her closer. Callie curls into my side like a cat and keeps her eyes glued to the film. I drop my hand to rest around her waist in an attempt to warm her up and slowly but surely her head rests on my chest.

Even though I know it's just the alcohol talking, I think that this is one of my favourite things to do ever. To feel Callie's weight on my chest, to have her so close to me and to have her trusting me after the night she's had, it all makes me dizzy with emotion.

I wish I could feel like this all the time even though it scares me a little.

When I wake up Callie is gone and I'm still on the couch. I run my hands down my face, wondering how we managed to fall asleep with each other on this sofa so many times now and then stand so that I can go have a shower.

While I'm showering I notice a clumsily written message on my hand- 'Callie cookies again'. Uh what?

I try and think back to last night while searching through the hazy memories. When I remember that Callie got stood up by some asshole the anger from last night returns. And I'm not quite sure what to do with the anger I'm feeling because it's different than usual and it makes me really uncomfortable.

This protective feeling I have over her is so strange. I think it's because of how she used to be treated when I met her and I guess I've felt the need to protect her ever since. I don't think it's much more than that.

But she makes me feel other things too, like when I'm around her I'm happy and when I'm not I almost miss her. Or when she looks up at me, her full cheeks dusted lightly with pink and her green eyes staring into mine making my chest tighten.

Callie has this thing where she makes you feel like she's really listening to what you're saying. She pays full attention to every little detail and it makes me feel like I'm important, as if what I'm saying matters even when it doesn't.

I can't deny that I'm attracted to her, I mean who wouldn't be. Callie is the epitome of gorgeous, she's both pretty and hot at the same time and I've never met someone like her before. I mean I've met plenty of beautiful women but none of them have ever had the same effect on me as she has.

Despite all of this, Callie's just gotten out of a long term relationship and I'm not looking for anything serious at all. And hooking up is off the table because she's my friend and she lives in my apartment. I've tried staying away but it didn't help at all and we found our way back to each other pretty quickly anyway.

I'm hoping that this is just attraction, a small crush because I know that I shouldn't have her and that it will go away with time. But it's already been a while since I met her and these feeling seem to be growing stronger. 

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This chapter is unedited so feel free to point out any mistakes, so sorry this is coming out so late I've been very busy. 

Hope you enjoyed reading 

:)