Poems From The Heart

Most people know before they understand

I wanted love more than I wanted friends

That's what you said was important

Love? Love, what does it mean?

Watching every show end in happy ever after

Wondering when,

When will it be my turn?

At eight love is what you see on tv

At twelve love is what my sister's were exploring

At fourteen love had fled

I could not find it in the walls of

The apartment.

Obsession in its first form

Seeking, grabbing, playing by their rules

If my heart could see it wouldn't be proud of me.

Half-shaved head, a scared little kid.

Wanting to be seen and noticed

But never touched.

My heart is lonely

I cannot breathe

My heart is aching

I cannot see

My heart, it's aching and screaming

Someone pull it out of me.

Bang your head and talk to yourself

You can drown it out,

The screaming after safety patrol,

The pounding in my head as I pace the school yard,

You can drown it all out.

The only hands I'd ever held were in friendship.

Possess me and make me right

Tell me what to do when someone is interested

If I had just gotten it over with maybe,

Then I could do it now

Make me right, but please

Do not touch.