Why All The Choices That I Make Leave Me With Scars?

I Care Too Much

We finally get to see Harumi's past.
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Harumi could feel hands on her shoulder but continued to shake, everything around her sounded muffled like she was underwater. She must have been there for hours, at least that's what it felt like. As her breathing began to calm down and her cries simmered out, she could lightly feel a hand rubbing her arm, but it wasn't large or calloused like Lloyd's. She was conscious enough to be curious and open an eye, noticing first that the light had been turned off and only a candle on the counter illuminated the room. When her gaze shifted, she saw who was really hovering above her.

"Skylor...? What are you doing here?" Harumi Rasped out. Her throat felt like death, probably from all the screaming. Nonetheless, Skylor was here in her apartment, in the bathroom with her. This scene looked oddly familiar.

"Lloyd called me," the girl explained gently, her thumb tracing Harumi's skin in a comforting manner. "He was worried about you."

Harumi closed her eyes and pressed the side of her face against the cool tile, swallowing a bit of bile in the back of her throat. She was still trembling. "Oh my God..."

"You were having another panic attack, right?" Skylor got off of her knees and instead sat crisscross beside Harumi, still massaging her shoulder. "How long has it been?"

"It feels like forever." Harumi's voice was quiet. "I thought it was getting better..."

"Breathe in sync with me," Skylor murmured instructively, emphasizing the sound of her breathing so Harumi could follow it.

Harumi did as she was told, her body beginning to uncurl and relax as her muscles loosened up. They sat there breathing together for almost ten minutes, Skylor sitting patiently while Harumi slowly sat up, but then immediately fell into the other girl's arms. "Skylor ..."

"Shh..." Skylor soothed her, pulling her against her chest and resting her chin atop Harumi's head. She rubbed circles against Harumi's back, holding her steady with the other. "It's okay..."

And just like that, Harumi was crying again. Thankfully, it wasn't like the gut-wrenching sobs she had displayed earlier, but rather quiet whimpers as her tears wetted Skylor 's pajama shirt, making it obvious that the girl had jumped up and immediately drove to Harumi's and Lloyd's apartment as soon as she was called. That fact made Harumi even more upset, however. She'd probably woken up just to come and comfort Harumi.

"Why did he call you?" Harumi Asked her in a wet voice.

"He didn't know what to do," Skylor explained, still holding her. "He said I was the first person he thought of."

Harumi nuzzled into Skylor 's shirt, sniffling. "He should have just let me ride it out... I'm sorry you had to drive all the way over here."

"Hey, look at me," Skylor said gently but firmly, and when Harumi raised her head, Skylor 's brows were furrowed. "Don't apologize, okay? There's no way in hell he would have just left you here in the bathroom without doing something to help. He needed someone who's... dealt with it before to calm you down."

Harumi remembered countless times during hers and Skylor 's relationship when the red-haired girl would sit on the floor or the bed with her, hold her, tell her she would be okay. Back then, even when things began to feel rocky with them, those were the times that Harumi felt completely comfortable with her, hopeful that things could always be like that. She felt guilty that now, as Skylor embraced her in such a familiar way, she felt so relaxed and safe.

"I can't believe I had a panic attack in front of him," Harumi said in disbelief.

"It happens. What caused it?"