Love to Hate You

Chapter 3

JASPER'S POV
I blink a few times, trying to figure out whether I'm alive or not. The raging migraine tells me that I'm not dead yet. I blink a few more times and the room comes into focus. I'm entangled with another body. My heart starts to pickup pace. How the fuck did I get here?? Who is this person cuddling with me?? I never fuck and cuddle. I sit up to look at their face. I blanched. How the fuck did I end up in Ezra's bed?! Am I naked?! I check under the covers. I'm fully clothed. I let out a breath of relief. I need answers. I shove him awake.
"Hey!! Wake up!! What the fuck did you do to me?!"
Ezra doesn't open his eyes but he does speak.
"I saved your ass from a rapist." He mumbled.
"What are you talking about??"
"I found you unconscious being fucked by some crazy chick." He says, opening his brown eyes to look at me.
"Guys don't get raped. Why are we in bed together??" I said angrily.
"You're not any less of a man because you were violated. I won't tell anyone either." He says calmly. I hate how calm he is all the time.
I clench my hands into fists.
He gets out of the bed and continues talking.
"Nothing happened between us. I didn't know where you lived. So I brought you to my place and I would have slept on the couch but you asked me to stay. I didn't want you choking on your own vomit. So, I stayed. That's it. That's all that happened." He explains.
"Then why were you all over me?!" I huff, my chest heaving.
"You were on top of me, Jasper. But I didn't mind." He smirks.
I scoff at how ridiculous that all sounded. There's no way I asked him to stay or did anything as ridiculous as cuddling with a guy.
I knew better though. I woke up with our limbs draped over each other and I was on top of him. My face reddened. What else did I do??
"Did I say or do anything else??"
"You were flirting with me and touching my arms. I told you to get your drunk ass to sleep but you just wouldn't leave me alone. Confessing your feelings for me." Ezra seemed too amused. He was teasing me.
"That's a lie. You're a liar. I don't have feelings for you. I just met you. I'm out of here." I said, clearly annoyed by the situation. He blocks the door though. Leaning against it with his eyebrows furrowed.
"I'm a lot of things, Jasper. But never call me a liar. I know you had a shitty night but that's not my fault. All I did was help you. You asked for answers and I gave them to you. I'm not the kind of guy that needs to take a drunk man home. Especially, not one stuck in the closet. Now you can leave."
I was stunned into silence. Stuck in the closet?! I most certainly am not stuck in the closet. I felt bad about calling him a liar. I wanted to apologize but the tension in the room was too much for me to handle. He moved away from the door calmly. He's obviously upset but you can't tell by the way he carries himself. I couldn't help but look at him walk away. His demeanor made me feel things. I needed to leave.
I can't believe this is the way my night went. That psycho girl really got me fucked up and took advantage of me. I don't even know how to begin to deal with that. I feel like a giant mess. I need to stop drinking so much. I don't know which door is the exist, I realize.
"Ezra!" I shout his name, embarrassed that I don't know my way out.
"What??" He says, standing behind me.
"I'm sorry I called you a liar. I'm not good with words or cuddling. Not with girls and definitely not with guys. I'm not even sure why my drunk ass would do that."
I originally was just going to ask about the exit but instead I felt compelled to make things right with Ezra. What the fuck is wrong with me??
"I think your drunk ass was finally honest with himself. Something your sober ass should try out." He says, stepping passed me and towards a door to the left.
Be honest with myself?? I thought I was being honest with myself until last night but I can't even remember last night. So being honest just seems like a bullshit trap. He did come to help me though. So maybe we could be friends. I grab my phone out of my pocket.
"Put your number in my phone." I said.
"What??" Ezra was confused.
"Give me your number. I'm bound to be drunk again in the near future. I'm going to need a friend."
"I don't typically give my number out but since you apologized, I'll make an exception." He smirks, while creating a new contact on my phone. It kinda made me feel happy. I wasn't sure why but I ignored the feeling, grabbed my phone and left. I hadn't thought about how I was getting home or where the fuck Ezra lived. My car was definitely not here and my brain hurts. I can't think straight. To make matters worst, I have no memory of last night. Again, I'm a mess. For whatever reason, I felt like looking up. I caught Ezra looking at me from his window. A cigarette in between his lips. I look away and start walking to my right. Am I pretending like I know where I'm going?? Hell yes. Anything is better than being caught standing outside like an idiot without a clue. I grab my phone out of my pocket and open the map app. I type in my address and it says home is a thirty minute walk from Ezra's apartment. You would think I would recognize my surroundings considering I've lived in this town all of my life but no, I am dependent on the GPS. I'm such a mess.
After exactly thirty minutes, I arrive home. First thing I want to do is shower and scrub my skin till it's raw. Erase all trace of that girl who took advantage of me. I strip my clothes and turn the water on. It's burning hot but I don't care. A sob escapes me. Fuck. I hate to cry. I haven't cried since high school. When my dad slapped my mom and she just took it. Those tears were angry. The tears I'm crying now are...sad.
I sit on the shower floor and just weep. I was raped. What the fuck... that's so fucked up. I'm so fucked up.