Love to Hate You

Chapter 12

JASPER'S POV
Sunlight was peeking through the window and shining right in my face. I groan as my eyes try to blink away the sleepiness. When I finally managed to open my eyes fully, I was welcomed by the sight of Ezra sleeping on his stomach. The muscles on his back on full display. The ink on his flesh enticing me.
I couldn't help but reach out and trace them with my fingertips. Waking up with morning wood didn't help. My thoughts quickly turned sexual. Maybe I should go back to sleep. Anything is better than the torture I'm putting myself through right now. Suddenly, I was brought out of my thoughts and I froze, watching Ezra move around. Slowly his lips curved into a smile.
"Why'd you stop touching me?? It felt nice." His voice was husky and deep. It made my dick twitch and I was hyper aware of it. He placed his head on my chest and draped his arm around my waist.
"Uh, I didn't want to wake you." I said shyly, as I tried to will my dick to soften.
"Why is your heart beating so fast??"
He picked up his head slightly and peeked through one eye at my face, waiting for an answer.
"I'm not used to waking up to hot men in my bed." I admitted. My hand covering my face from the embarrassment I felt saying those words out loud. He chuckles and buries his face into my chest.
"Want some coffee??" He mumbled, changing the subject for my sake.
"Only if it comes with pancakes."
Ezra didn't even fight me on it. He just mumbled an 'ok' and got up to make them.
I tried to reach for him to bring him back to bed but I was too slow.
"Ezra, I was just kidding!! You don't have to make pancakes. Come back here."
I quickly pulled off the blankets on me and chased after him. He was laughing like we were playing a game. If we were, I was determined to win. All I have to do is catch him. I chased him into the living room. He jumped over the couch and I fumbled.
"You can't catch me." He said in a sing song voice, a smug smile on his face.
"Oh, I'm going to catch you and when I do, you're so dead!!" I jumped over the couch just as he did but he was already on the other side. This goddamn couch is in the damn way of my victory.
"Keep dreaming, Baby!" He laughed.
I took a step to the right and he would take a step to the left. So, I jumped over the damn couch again but this time I tackled him down to the floor. Pinned his hands over his head as I straddled him.
"Oh, would you look at that.. I seem to have caught a very naughty boy." I smiled as he squirmed underneath me.
"Indeed, you have. What are you going to do to me now??" He said seductively.
Oh, fuck.
"You're enjoying this too much." I leaned down and kissed his sweet lips. The longer I kissed him the hungrier they became. I let go of his hands and he immediately uses them to take off my shirt. I kiss and suck on his neck. A soft moan escapes his mouth. He feels so good under me. I kiss, suck and lick my way down his chest. I pull his sweatpants down to his knees and watched as his throbbing member sprung out. At the sight of it, I thought of using my mouth. I look at Ezra in the eyes. As if he knew my next move he began to shake his head.
"No, Jasper. Don't. Ja-aahh uuuhhh..." he struggles with his words as I take his length into my mouth. His fingers entangled in my hair. His brown eyes filled with lust as he watches my head bob up and down. He tastes so good on my tongue. I don't have any experience. I just instinctively knew what would feel good. This is so gay.
"If you don't..oh, god..slow down.. Jasper! I'm going to..." I hear him but I don't slow down.
I take all of him deeper into my throat. Making gagging sounds as his thickness fills my throat. I can't believe I'm doing this but it feels good. His release coats the back of my throat and I swallow.
"Fuuuccckkk..." He moans as his head rolls back. His chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath but I don't stop. I keep sucking. Tasting all of him.
"Jasper." He breathes out in a whisper. I sit up with a smile on my face, impressed with myself that I could pleasure him. I lick my lips.
"Breakfast was great." I teased.
"That was...unexpected but you're still getting pancakes and coffee." He pulls up his pants and gets up from the floor. I follow him into the kitchen.
"Unexpected?? I mean that was my first time...well, you know... and that's all you have to say??" I said. He turns the stove on and places the pan down on the burner. A smug look plastered on his face.
"I don't know if I believe that was your first time. You definitely have skills that took me a few times to get right." He said. Suddenly, the image of Ezra blowing another guy pops in my head. I grimace at the thought.
"So, you've never been with a girl??" I asked.
Ezra tosses butter in the pan and mixes the batter of pancake mix.
"I had a girlfriend in high school. Her name was Kimiko. She was fucking awesome until she wasn't. I lost my virginity to her. It was fucking awful." He said, as he flipped pancakes.
"Then you like girls and guys." I said. He flops the pancakes onto a plate and starts up the coffee maker. I sit on a stool and rest my elbows on the kitchen island. My curiosity keeping me completely enthralled in the conversation. What if I don't like the answer?? Oh, shit. Well, too late now. Ezra leans on the island and replies.
"No. I had a thing for Kimiko. Before I realized I really didn't like her in a sexual way. So, when a guy came along, it felt right. So, I guess to answer your question I'm totally gay."
"I have fucked like a million girls." I said. Ezra arched an eyebrow and pursed his lips. In the distance, I could hear the sound of coffee pouring into the pot. Nothing could distract me from his face though. Not even the heavenly smell of fresh coffee. His reaction came off as jealous. I kinda liked it a lot.
"Well, I'll happily be the first man in your life and just so you know, I don't do the casual sex thing. So, that little stunt you pulled makes you mine." He turns to pour coffee into two mugs. Just casually walks away like being the cool guy comes naturally to him. I can feel the heat rising on my face.
"Whoa. What happened to 'slow down'??"
He just laughs as he hands me a mug and sits down.
"Your face is priceless, Jas but I'm serious. No more fucking anyone else. Not if you're fucking with me."
"And who says I want to fuck with you??" I said. Ezra just smiles as he cuts up his pancakes and stabs a piece with a fork.
"Don't self sabotage. Pushing me away isn't going to change the facts." He said, as he raises the fork into his mouth. I can't even think about eating right now. My stomach is in knots and I'm starting to sweat. Did I somehow walk out of one relationship and straight into another?? I did say I have feelings for him. Which is true. It would be easier if I didn't. I just don't want to fuck everything up.
"I'm not self sabotaging. I just didn't realize that sucking your dick meant I automatically got a boyfriend. Things are changing a little too fast."
He puts his fork down and looks up at me.
"I don't just share my body with anyone, Jasper. I don't enjoy feeling like a cheap slut.
I want to hold value in someone's hands." He said.
"You mean in my hands." I look down at my hands. They have touched a lot of people. None of them meant shit to me. Ezra is different. In more ways than one. He's my best friend. Oh god. I blew my best friend and liked it. What the fuck is wrong with me?! The whole thing was scaring the shit out of me. I'm in this deep. What did I get myself into?? I don't know what the hell I am doing. I rest my hands on my lap.
"Preferably, in your hands." He said truthfully.
"You have shitty taste in men, Ezra. I don't do relationships. I suck at being a boyfriend. I tried it with Cindy and look what happened to her!! I cheated on her with you. That's what I do. I fuck shit up." I finally pick up my fork and dig in on my breakfast aggressively. The clinking of my fork on the plate disrupting the silence. My heart going a mile per second. We can probably hear that to. Fuck. Should I apologize?? I'm such a prick.
"Don't compare me to the females you fucked. I'm not some chick you picked up at a bar. You said you had feelings for me and now you're just too chicken shit to face what that actually means. What's so scary about being with me??" He said, his tone slightly irritated. He gets up from his seat with his plate in hand and tosses his breakfast in the trash can. Then calmly walks over to the sink and places the plate down, his back side facing me. Guess, I've done it. I've fucked up. I've crashed and burned in a matter of hours. What did I expect?? I'm me.
"There's nothing wrong with you. You're my best fucking friend, Ezra!! This shit just got too fucking complicated really fucking fast!! And yes, I said I have...well, you know...for you but it's all too fucking new!!"
Ezra turns around to face me. He grips the edge of the counter. His muscles on full display.
"Can you be honest with yourself for once?! You would get really fucking drunk and call me up. Get in my bed with those blue eyes of yours eating me up. Not to mention, the copious flirting and cuddling. We could have done far more, if I was the kind of guy to take advantage of the situation. This isn't that new. We've been playing this game for months." He said.
He was right, of course. Leave it to Ezra to see right through me and my bullshit. What could I do now?? Deny it?? Call him a liar?? Wait, can't do the last one. That one pisses him off.
I hate it when he's mad at me. I take a deep breath and let it out.
"I can't lie my way out of this one. So, you got me, E." I said.
"You're giving me whiplash, Jasper. You fight me one minute and then kiss me the next. I get that your sexuality is a bit to deal with emotionally but you can't just string me along. So, call me when you've made up your mind." He said, walking out the kitchen. I didn't do anything to stop him from leaving this time. I just sat in my kitchen trying to wrap my mind around what the fuck just happened. He didn't even say goodbye. I heard the door slam closed. Then silence.