Love to Hate You

Chapter 29

JASPER'S POV
I'm in Emilia's bed. I just woke up. She's sleeping on my chest and I'm holding her. I look at her alarm clock glowing in the dark. It says it's three in the morning. Shit. I can't sleep. My mind keeps thinking about Ezra. He has called me about a million times but I just can't seem to answer any of his calls. His voice would break me. I miss him and I still love him. That's the worst part. The pain of being betrayed by the only one you love is excruciating. The urge to kill myself and end it all is strong but I made him a promise and I intend to keep it. Even though he broke his promises to me. I have Emilia. She doesn't know about my suicide attempt but she's still watching over me. She said I shouldn't be alone during these times and so it made sense to sleep next to her because she was right, I don't want to be alone. I don't want to think about everything I changed about myself for one person. I don't want to think about how I stupidly trusted someone with my heart. I don't want to think about how a man managed to fuck with my head, my heart and my dick. I gave him everything. My eyes water and I try to blink the tears away. It fucking hurts too much. I slowly try to get up without waking Emmie up. I grab my phone and walk out the bedroom. I sit down in the kitchen. I call Ezra. My heart races in my chest. After the third ring, he picks up.
"Hello??" Ezra's sleepy voice answers. The lump in my throat won't let me speak.
"Jasper, say something."
"Why??" I whispered. He doesn't need to ask. He knows what I'm referring to.
"Baby, I'm sorry. It just happened. I should have stopped it but I didn't. I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you." He said. The tears fall one by one.
"Did you even really love me??" I whispered. I don't know why I'm whispering. I just can't seem to find the energy to yell at him.
"Of course, I love you. I'll never stop loving you, Jas. I never lied to you about that." He replied.
"Do you love him??" I questioned. I hoped he said no. I hoped he denied it.
"I'm in love with you." He said.
"That's not what I asked." I raised my voice slightly. He sighs.
"I care about him. He was my friend. I love things about him but I'm not in love with him. I'm in love with you." He said, breaking my heart even more.
"So, you love him." I cry. Goddamn it, this hurts.
"Yes, but I love you more."
"That's not good enough. I only love you. I deserve someone who can reciprocate that, Ezra." I sniffle.
"Don't cry, Jasper. I love you, ok?? Only you. I just want you. I swear."
"I have to go, E."
"No, don't hang up, baby. Hold on. I want to fix this. I can fix this. I can—"
I hang up. I shouldn't have called him. I didn't need to know that he loves him. I shouldn't have called. Fuck.
"Jasper??" Emmie's gentle voice calls to me. I look up at her and run into her arms. I fall to my knees and she falls down with me. She holds me as I cry like a baby.
"He said he loves him." I croak out. 
"Shh. It's ok. I'm here." She soothes me. We get up from the floor and she guides me to her room. We lie down and she holds me. I fall asleep in her arms.
One week turns into three weeks. Time just keeps moving forward. I haven't talked to Ezra for three weeks. I haven't seen him either. I've gone to work and then come home to Emilia. She's been my rock. I haven't cried anymore. I'm just numb now. I deserved what I got. I cheated on Cindy and this is karma coming to get me. I deserved it.
"Did you grab the eggs and milk??" Emmie asks, walking down the aisle of the supermarket.
"Nope. That's next on the list." I smile. I push the cart and walk to the next aisle.
"That should have been first on the list, Jasper."
"What does it matter if it's first or last?? It's all going in the cart eventually."
I grab a few boxes of cereal and toss them in the cart. Emilia replied but I didn't hear any of it because I ran into the last person I'd ever want to see. His signature wavy, blue hair was loose around his shoulders and the urge to cut it all off his head was strong. Liam smiled when he seen me and actually dared to approach me.
"Are you two finally together?? You make a great couple, honestly." He said. Emilia holds my hand to comfort me. I smirk and tilt my head to the side.
"As a matter of fact, we are together. I'm perfectly happy now." I lied through my teeth. Emilia caught on and kept the act up.
"Hey, babe. We really gotta get going." She said. Her smile bright and seductive. I lean down and kiss her. Liam stands there, wide eyed.
"I'll be sure to tell Ezra how happy you are." Liam said.
"I don't give a fuck what you tell him. Anyway, you heard my girlfriend. I gotta go." I said and pushed passed him. I roll the cart towards the milk section. Emilia sighs.
"Sorry you had to deal with that. He was the last person I thought we'd run into here." She said. I grab a gallon of milk and put it in the cart. I smile at her.
"Did you see his face when I kissed you?? Fucking priceless." I chuckled. I moved on towards the eggs. She follows me.
"We definitely sold it. He must have been so disappointed to see you smiling instead of crying."
We grabbed everything we needed and headed to pay for everything. While in line, I see Liam telling something to Ezra. My heart nearly leaps out of my chest at the sight of him. I quickly hug Emilia from behind and bury my face in her neck.
"He's here, Emmie." I whisper to her. She looks to the side and spots them. Whatever Liam told Ezra must have upset him because he looks right at us with a frown on his face. He walks right towards us. I hold on to Emilia's body a little tighter.
"Jasper." He said. I haven't heard his voice in so long. I lift my head from Emilia's neck and rest my chin on her shoulder. I look into his brown eyes. They're still so beautiful.
"Ezra." I smile. He looks at how I'm holding Emilia close to me and then looks at my face. I can see the pain in his eyes. I swallow the lump in my throat and continue to smile.
"It's true?? You moved on??" He asks.
"Baby, tell him if it's true." I tell Emmie. She turns to face me and kisses my lips. I grab her ass and stick my tongue in her mouth. She bites my lip and then smiles.
"Seems pretty true to me, baby." She said. I look up at Ezra's face. His eyes are watery.
"Oh, I'm happy for you." He says, wiping the tear that escaped his eye.
"Thanks. Never been happier." I lied. He waved goodbye and ran out the supermarket.
"You didn't have to be a dick." Liam said, then ran after Ezra. I let go of Emilia.
"Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I can't breathe. I can't believe I did that. I could practically see his heart bleeding out of his chest." I said, my hand gripping my shirt over my chest tightly.
"Hey, you did nothing wrong. He deserved it for breaking your heart." She said, holding onto my shoulders.
"Yeah, you're right. Thanks for playing along so well." I said, sheepishly. She smiles.
"I didn't bite your lip too hard, did I??"
"No. You're great kisser, Emmie." I chuckle.
We finally pay for all of our groceries and put everything in the trunk of my car.