Save each other // Joel Miller

Daydreams

She looked so small to Joel, as he watched her walk between two of the driving forces of Jackson. They talked to each other over her and she took the smallest steps, like she was trying to take up as little space as possible. Like a mouse, or a beaten puppy. Joel watched her closely as she and the married Millers got closer.

She wore a pair of skinny jeans, a bit ripped at the knees. An over sized hoody that was rolled over her delicate wrists, poking out small dainty hands that drummed over her thighs. Her hair fell a little past her shoulders and even in the setting light he could see how red it was. Untamed and curly, slightly blowing in the cool breeze. She was a sore sight for Joel and he unconsciously yearned to study her face, learn every part of it.

Ellie was practically bouncing toward her, even leaping over the railing instead of walking around it. As she approached, the girl seemed to shy away but stand her ground at the same time. Joel didn't know why but this made him let out a small chuckle. The only time Ellie was this excited was when Dina was coming over or she proved Joel wrong or won at Boggle, which happened a lot.

Joel let his thoughts wonder, liking the feeling of warm spreading through him as he remembered that Ellie was a whole lot happier after he had recovered. She smiled more and cracked more jokes. She breathed in life again and laughed out loud. He had always woken up and held his breath for the day that Ellie would slip back into survivors remorse mode, but she never did. He liked to think it's because they got so goddamn lucky surviving the whole ordeal. And meeting her.

With that he refocused and prepared himself for an introduction. This girl and the crew were approaching and he was sure it would a be long evening of getting to know one another.

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Everyone had come to a stop at the makeshift wheelchair ramp edge of the porch. Ellie had hurried to greeted Sophie with a huge smile and a vigorous, slightly painful, handshake, but no words. Maria and Tommy were deep into a conversation that couldn't be interrupted. They learned pretty quickly on the walk that Sophie wouldn't say much so they filled the silence themselves. Ellie just joined their short walk to the porch with her hands behind her back and a shy smile facing the ground. It was sweet actually. She seemed like such a good kid, maybe late teens, wearing her hair back in a half ponytail. Her clothes were loose fitting and she wore converse sneakers that she swore she had before the world ended.

At the beginning of the walk to Joel's, Sophie mostly tuned Tommy and Maria out, observing the scene around her. Tommy had already almost changed her mind about going by greeting her loudly and gripping her shoulders in excitement. Not only was it painful, but startling. He must have forgot his manners for a second because he quickly dropped his hands to his sides when Maria had bore holes into him with her eyes. Though he didn't loose his smile, he refused to stay home, knowing who Sophie was about to meet. Although this interaction threw her off, she didn't let it sway her decision and she was glad it didn't.

This place was a dream. The sun seemed to be setting and Maria had assured Sophie that most of the town would be in their homes or at the bar to socialize. Farm animals in fences and little shops popped up along the roads. Stands full of goods like bread and wood. Empty glasses for fresh milk stacked in carts and tools scattered around. Nothing with a price tag. Maria had explained once that everything costs nothing but your pull in the community. As long as you did your job, you got whatever you needed. It was way too good to be true and it stung knowing she could never trust herself to stay.

But Sophie did let herself daydream for a second. She daydreamed of picking a home and finding someone to share it with. Putting the tattered photo of her and her brother in a frame and hanging it on the wall. Making breakfast and burning the eggs because she can't cook, so she tosses them to the dog. She thought of helping in the clinic they had. Becoming a real doctor like her brother and possibly atoning for what she did to him. Possibly, maybe, making him proud. She shook her head slightly and snapped out of her wool gathering when Ellie had approached. Sophie didn't think much else after that until she really got a good look at the man that made all of this a reality. The one she stuck her neck out for.

No one had told Sophie about what Joel looked like all healed up. His face was hardened and wrinkled. He had bruises from the fight fading all over his lower arms, knuckles, eyes, and nose. Like someone had taken a yellow and green highlighter to his sun tanned skin. He wore a blue and green faded plaid button up, rolled up to his elbows. A pair of blue jeans and black cowboy boots with a leather moth embroidered into them. His hair was dark and speckled with white and untamed, almost wind blown or just rolled out of bed. And he had a beard to match. He was undeniably handsome. Her heart fluttered a bit when she wondered how old he was. She looked to his lap and noticed the guitar he carried and shoved down the butterfly feeling of listening to music again.

"Joel! How you doin' brother?" Tommy took big strides up the ramp to Joel, taking the first initiative to move onto the porch. He gave Joel a loud pat on the back. Sophie was taken back by this greeting, because she knew they were close but had she known they were actually brothers?

"Not to bad Tommy, but I'm ready to get rid of this damned thing." Joel spoke, gesturing to the wheelchair he sat in. Sophie had wondered if it was going to be permanent or not. His injuries were extensive and she wouldn't have been surprised to see him have long lasting effects from it.

"Yeah yeah! I'll come over and focus on you soon here. I've been busy." Tommy smacks Joel again and looks right at Sophie. She feel her cheeks start to burn as she notices everyone stare at her. This is too much and she's already feeling like hightailing home.

"Ah." Joel responds and nods his head toward her in acknowledgement. Just then something in her felt like it exploded. Her heart sped up and her stomach clenched. She grabbed onto Maria's arm hard with her good hand and Maria looked at her in surprise.

"You alright?" She said, concern laying thick in her voice. Sophie loosened her grip and took a deep breath. What was wrong with her? She was nervous, sure, but having a physical reaction to this man's gesture? This was wild. She needed to get ahold of herself, fast, if she wanted to convince them to let her leave. She suddenly dropped her hand and let her arm hang loose at her side. Sophie looked her right in the eyes and replied.

"Yeah, just a twinge of pain is all."

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Her voice was like honey. Just one small, quiet sentence seemed to send him over the edge. Her eyes stayed low and he wanted nothing more than to make her look at him so he could see the color. A voice as sweet as that must have eyes to match. He imagined a sky blue with flicks of green, or a deep golden brown, to balance her airy tone. Joel's grip on his guitar got tighter as he listened and watched her walk up the porch ramp. He looked down at his white knuckles and quickly loosened his grip, clearing his throat.

"Mind if we come in and sit? She hasn't done so much walking since she got here and she seems to be sore." Maria directed at Joel, a bit peeved that he hasn't offered to invite anyone in. Joel awkwardly shifted his chair and cleared his throat again, reaching for the screen door.

"Of course! Make yourselves at home." Joel fumbled over his words and everyone piled in. Ellie was the last one to enter before Joel and gave him a questioning look. He ignored her and leaned the guitar in his lap back against the side of the house before wheeling in after everyone. He hoped that this would be the end of making a fool of himself.