Save each other // Joel Miller

Best

Joel watched helplessly as Sophie ran up the stairs. Without his injuries he would be right behind her, grabbing her by the arm and making her sit and talk this through with him. He hated that she was running away. From both him and her own demons. The way she looked up at him, eyes pouring tears without a blink, felt like a stab to his chest. He was so damn mad at her for locking herself away in her own head but he couldn't deny the fear he recognized in that look. Whatever she was hiding from everyone, it haunted her.

"Well that went well." Tommy pushed back his plate and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Shut the fuck up Tommy." Joel growled out and reached for his cane. He felt as if he had done enough damage and wanted nothing more than to leave.

"Oh no Joel, you and Ellie get to haul yourselves up those stairs and make this right." Maria said calmly but sternly. She didn't bat an eye to the angry look Joel shot at her and began cleaning up the dinner table.

"What the hell do you mean by that?!" Joel's voice came out more shocked than mad, but both emotions swirled in his head. He had no reason to make anything right. Him or Ellie. They were just telling her the truth and there wasn't anything wrong with that. To Joel, this seemed like a conversation that should have happened a long time ago.

"I mean, dinner tonight could have been happy and full of joy. Maybe convincing her to stay would be a little easier. Not that it should have been any of our decisions to make, but you all seem to be gung ho about the idea. Poor girl can't catch a break with Tommy always breathing down her neck and now you two come barging in and go shouting at her." Maria was never one to push staying on her. She always supported whatever Sophie said she'd like and that has always pissed Joel off.

"We can't just let her go." Ellie said in a small voice. Joel stilled. He hadn't realized, but she had been silent since her comment to Sophie at the table and hadn't moved an inch. He knew she meant something to Ellie but he didn't consider how she felt during all of this. He gave her a soft look and sighed heavily.

"I don't think that's any of your choice to make. Either of you. Now go, before she decides to do something stupid like jump out the window or something." Maria turn on her heel, hands full of dishes with uneaten food, and walked into the kitchen. Joel gave Tommy a glance and he shrugged in response.

"Help me up the damn stairs, would ya El?" Joel asking Ellie for help threw her off a bit but she didn't hesitate to stand right up and take his arm. He grabbed the cane and they made it up the stairs and down the hall to her room. When Ellie turned the knob, it was locked.

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Sophie's vision blurred as she hastily packed the remainder of her things. She was so worked up she would probably forget something but she didn't care. All she knew was that she failed and she had to leave. She cared too much. Got too comfortable. Her arms started to feel heavy as she dug around and made things fit, like her body was telling her to stop.

She couldn't though. She was sure Tommy would be right behind her to tell her to calm down and breath. He would tell her to stay the night and clear her head. Problem was she had a clear vision of what she had to do. And it wasn't what he wanted, or apparently what anyone downstairs wanted.

She slowed down and caught her breath, feeling a small piece of paper under her finger tips. She pulled it out carefully and unfolded it to show a picture of her and her brother. She was standing next to him, large goofy grin plastered on her face as he poked her cheek. The memories of this day flooded her mind and soon her eyes. She flipped the picture over to read the familiar handwriting,

"Never stop believing in yourself, as I believe in you. The world has many wonders and you're the best of them all."

Clamping the picture to her chest she sobbed. She will never live up to her mistake and she felt it straight to her bones. He was her entire world and it came crashing down the day he died, right in front of her. She was helpless and weak. Scared. She did nothing to save him and she will always make herself pay for that. Which is why she couldn't allow herself the safety and security of this place, the people in it, or the possibilities it could bring. A small flash of Joel crossed her mind and she felt her heart sink.