Save each other // Joel Miller

Convince

The world stopped turning on its axis. That's what caused the pause in time. The freezing of his lungs and heart. The world stopped turning and that's why when Sophie uttered those words of affection he couldn't do anything about it. At least that was the best excuse Joel could come up with at the moment. He watched her search his face with her big green eyes, the light dying a little bit as the silence cut through the night like a butchers knife.

Her hands dropped with a swinging motion to her side and she scoffed, turning her head to the side. Her face was cascaded by her red waves so she was unreadable.

"It's alright. I already apologized, member?" Her slurred words were heavy and spiteful. She wobbled a few steps away from him and he shook his head to knock himself out of the trance.

"Sophie, stop." He called out.

"Don't you tell me what to do Miller!" Her voice raised and full of emotion. "I am an adult, I am a capable, full blown idiot adult who has fallen head over heels for you. Stupid, I'm so stupid." Her entire body vibrated in front of his eyes. He was staring into her back, watching as she clenched her fists and swayed in place.

"You don't know what your saying." Joel ground out through his teeth. She whipped around to face him so fast he thought she might tumble over. The few feet distance between them was charged with electricity. He had never seen her face so serious, so angry with him before. She was entirely beautiful, breathtakingly so. He couldn't manage the feelings much longer and he took a step forward.

"Don't come any closer!" She yelled, and he followed orders, stilling his feet. "What the hell do you mean? I don't know what I'm saying? Joel, I know exactly what I'm saying."

She bit her lip and diverted her stare to the ground, searching for the right words to say. He couldn't let her go on though. He could smell the alcohol on her from miles away and he wouldn't let her continue or she might say something she regrets.

"Your drunk, Soph. And I want to get you home. Please." He didn't even mind that he was full on begging her. He couldn't handle if she said it again. He would have to wrap his mind around the idea that she actually meant it. That he held any part of her heart. He felt he didn't deserve it. Any of her affection, let alone her love.

"I've never been so clear in my life, Joel. You occupy my brain when I sit still. You shadow my thoughts when I read. You sweep through the breeze when I sunbathe. You are with me always, and I can't live without it. I can't imagine a life without you Joel." Her words spilled out, spiraling and sporadic. He stared at her full lips, her reddened cheeks. Her face twisted with passion and pain.

Before she could react, he closed the distance between them. He grabbed the back of her head with one hand and wrapped his other hand on her lower back. He stopped centimeters from her face, letting his breath hit hotly on her lips. Her large doe eyes widened and he felt her hold her breath.

"Stop." One harsh word became more. "Please. Stop it. I can't hear this right now. You... you deserve more. I'm not.. I'm not..." he struggled with his thought process and Sophie shot her hands up to the collar of his shirt, making his bumbling words holt. He watched her again, seeing softened features. Her searching stopped over his lips, she bit her bottom lip, something in contemplation.

Joel closed the gap between them. There wasn't a universe or time in space that would keep him from kissing her at that moment. He was terrified of what this meant, but he couldn't stop. Her entire being screamed for him to love her back. He would just have to work towards what she was doing to him.

The kiss was relentless, desperate, and passionate. It felt like all of the things he wished he could convey in words. A fleeting feeling of relief passed in his chest as he was able to physically show her what those words meant to him. He wasn't rejecting her, he was trying to understand.