Save each other // Joel Miller

Confessions

"As the winds blows and the leaves change, so does life. Ever moving and shifting with tragedy, but also healing. Jesse would want us to move on with strength. To rejoice in his memory and carry on his legacy...."

The man droning on in black spoke over the quiet sniffles and uneasy shifting feet of the people standing around the grave lined with stone. Joel stood close to Ellie who had her arms around Dina. She sobbed softly into Ellie's shoulder and Ellie straightened, like standing tall would protect her and Dina from the judgmental looks from the people of Jackson.

Joel was staring just above the preachers shoulder, watching a yellowing leaf shaking on its limb, ready to float away any second. He thought of Sophie and looked around, expecting to find the red head within the crowd. When he didn't see her, he sighed. She had been holed up in the guest room of their home for the last 3 days, only coming out to eat when everyone was asleep.

Ellie would sit in front of her door during her lunch and eat, talk about the town and ask her to come out. It ended in silence every time but Ellie insisted. She would say something about making sure Sophie didn't forget that remembering her past was a good thing. Joel opted to give her space. Pushing people to do anything wasn't his way, but it did little to help the heavy feeling in his chest when he passed by her door.

Tommy hadn't visited either, which surprised Joel. He knew his brother would have his own demons to battle from the whole ordeal, but Sophie had always been his first go to when it came to being lost in the dark of his own mind. Joel was grateful for Tommy's absence, knowing that things between them was tense. He wasn't sure how to approach anyone, let alone Tommy, at this point.

Joel went on with his days leading up to this in silence. Offering curt nods and grunts instead of words for the people who offered their sorrys and condolences. He kept a close eye on the people that approached the girls and did the same, making sure to keep in mind those that inserted their own opinions on what happened. Those people got cold shoulders and glares.

They buried Jesse the morning they returned. It was with his family, Maria, and the people who were with him when he passed. The council gathered that evening to discuss how to tell the rest of the community and what the repercussions of the situation would be. When they held a meeting with the entire town, they made it seem like a hero's mission, that he died for a reason. But Joel saw past all the bullshit. Maria had swayed everyone that the core group was too valuable to punish and pushed the whole thing aside.

Maria had decided to take it upon herself to talk to each individual about how this happened right under her nose and she had no idea. Her frustrations were apparent when she didn't get the answer she wanted from any of them and demanded that they all show at the celebration of life they were holding for Jesse. Which lead Joel's thoughts to this very moment. Where was Sophie?

Joel looked around some more, like scanning the group would suddenly bring her there. But as he looked more he noticed something even more curious. He couldn't see Tommy either. His searching eyes rested on a distraught Maria, who seemed to notice the lack of the two already. She wasn't going to be happy that the couple had directly disobeyed her, but something told Joel that it wasn't the non-attendance that bothered her.

He stared long enough for Maria to notice. They made eye contact and for a moment both of them didn't move. They had a silent conversation, saying nothing but everything at the same time. The pain that reflected off her almost expressionless face was just enough for Joel to tear his sight off her and make a hard decision. He turned to Ellie and Dina and placed a gentle hand on Ellie's shoulder. Then he turned on his heel, walking toward his home and ignoring how loud his boots crunched the dirt and rock under them.

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Sophie stared at the picture in her hands long enough that she would probably set it on fire if she didn't stop. The rumpled edges and tears on it didn't diminish the memories that came with it. Sadness welled in her eyes and heart like a sinking boat, heavy and looming.