Save each other // Joel Miller

I was there

"Can I come in or...?" Tommy asked, irritated by his wet, cold clothes. He took one step in the door before Joel moved in front of him, too close for comfort.

"I asked what hell you want, Tommy!" He raised his voice with anger but not enough to cause Sophie to hear and panic. He had to keep a level head but he couldn't help but want to kick his brothers ass for showing up now of all times.

"Joel, come on. Let me get in and explain." He pushed past Joel, leaving a wet mark on his arm. Joel scoffed, slamming the door while spinning around to glare at Tommy who was making his way to the kitchen. He returned in a second, rubbing a hand towel over his face and hair.

"It started pouring rain the minute I left the house but I couldn't stop. I had to come over and see if what Barb said was true." He stopped shaking out his hair momentarily, losing himself in thought. Joel sat down on the couch with a thump, leaning back and putting his arms over the top edge of the couch. His posture was open but threatening, showing all his feeling of his brother showing up.

"Joel, she's alive. How was I not supposed to come over and check?" Tommy sat in the chair Barb was hours earlier. Joel could hear the rain and wind slamming against his window, stirring restlessly.

"Just like this Tommy..." he leaned forward and putting his hands together, gesturing them as he spoke. "You hear the news, you soak it in that thick skull of yours, and then you mind your own god damn business." Joel's tone was even but not hiding the pointed insults towards Tommy. Tommy's face twisted between hurt and anger.

"Fuck you Joel!" He shouted, throwing his hands up in the air. "You arn't the only one who cares for her, you know!" Tommy's voice was raised and uneven, fueled by raw emotion. Joel stood up, hissing a hush at Tommy, looking towards the hall to make sure Sophie wasn't there. His piercing glare making its way back to his younger brother. Tommy's chest was heaving in and out, his expression playing both rage and determination.

"Ohhh, I know Tommy." He spat his name out. "I know EXACTLY what you mean." His finger pointed a hard accusation into Tommy's chest. Tommy shook his head in frustration, droplets of water spreading over the floor. Tommy wiped his forehead free of moisture before standing to meet Joel at eye level.

"That is not what I meant and you should know it, Joel." His voice was low, through his clenched teeth. "I don't know my true feelings for her, man! I don't get it. I love my wife and I.." he trailed off, finding it hard to figure out his next words. "I can't explain it! I just can't." His voice lost its edge and he crumbled back into the chair he was standing in front of. His back bent low and his entire being looking defeated. Joel huffed an exhaustive sigh.

"What the hell was going through your mind Tommy? You let this girl live with you. You convinced your wife to let her stay!" Joel asked pointedly. Tommy slicked back his wet hair, looking up at his brother.

"I didn't have to convince Maria, Joel. Sophie has proven to be a very strong and productive part of the community. Maria understood that I cared for her, and she accepted that. But I would never want to jeopardize my marriage or my relationship with my family to explore a feeling!" His explanation was calming Joel down, convincing him that Tommy was really telling the truth. His angry feelings for his younger brother taming to sympathy.

"I swear to you Joel, I just want everyone to be happy. And you make her happy." His voice layered with sadness and regret. Joel thought to himself that maybe, in another life, Tommy and Sophie would have met when he wasn't married. When the world wasn't shit and they could have lived a long, laugh filled life together. Joel's heart hurt for his brother. But it wouldn't change his feelings for Sophie one bit, like a immovable piece of glass buried in his core. It was crystal clear how he felt about Sophie and Joel wouldn't give her up for anything.