Save each other // Joel Miller

Complicated

Sophie watched from the porch as Joel made his way into the shed. They both thought about who should go douse that fire and ultimately landed on him. The emotions were too raw from the day to justify Sophie making any good difference, much to her own dismay. She wanted nothing more than to hug Ellie and tell her everything would be okay.

She leaned her head back on the old wooden glider and let her eyes shut, listening to the ruffled sounds of leaves in the breeze. She felt the cool summer air shift her hair and longed to become it. To be able to float without a care. Everything was so complicated all of the sudden. She swallowed hard at the invisible lump in her throat. She is determined to find out more about herself to heal, but it didn't dampen the anxious feeling that she wasn't going to like what she found.

Just then, she heard footsteps up the steps to the house. The old wood creaked under the pressure of the slow movements. Sophie looked toward it, finding a cautious Maria staring back at her. Sophie sat up straight, giving Maria full attention.

"Hello." Sophie greeted Maria, who nodded back while leaning her back against the railing, a few posts down. She crossed her arms and looked to her feet. Sophie wasn't sure what to say, not really knowing what the proper answer would be to everything she put her through earlier.

"Hey Sophie, it looks like you're feeling better. Joel around?" She cut straight to the point, which was usual for their interactions. Sophie bit the inside of her cheek before answering.

"I am, thank you. Joel's with Ellie, she's pretty..." Sophie's words trailed, not knowing how much she should tell.

"Upset. Yeah, I saw her basically yank your arm out dragging you to Tommy's." Maria finished her sentence for her. She smiled bitterly and shook her head. Sophie couldn't figure out if it was towards concern for her own well-being or Ellie's irrational behavior.

"It's alright. She's going through some stuff." Sophie was testing the waters. Maria hummed in agreement and the air fell silent. Sophie waited a beat before sighing. She stood and stepped toward Maria, whom turned totally towards her.

"Maria, I owe you an apology. This afternoon..." Maria held up her hand, stopping Sophie's words.

"I don't need an apology, I need an explanation." Something in Maria had changed, her whole body tensing and the look burning a hole through Sophie's face. Sophie stood her ground, hoping this would finally clear the air with one of Jackson's fearless leaders.

"Do you remember running? The day I told you about the sign we had found?" Her words were harsh, but desperate. "Because I don't understand. You left and when you did you took three of Jackson's biggest assets with you." Maria grabbed ahold of the railing, knuckles turning white.

Sophie was stunned, every word pouring out of Maria's mouth confusing her further. Maria read Sophie like a book, scoffing and shaking her head.

"Hard to blame you for anything when you don't even remember the trouble you caused." She angrily mumbled. Sophie heard her loud and clear. Her fists balling up at her sides and rage beginning to shake her to the core.

"I don't remember anything from that day Maria, and no matter who I ask, no one will tell me. They are all afraid of the ticking time bomb I have become apparently." Sophie ground out. Maria looked up at her, shocked at the girls new found confidence.  Maria's grip on the railing dropped and her face went along.

"Sophie, I'm sorry, I..." she shuttered out before Sophie interrupted without skipping a beat.

"No! You don't get to apologize to me. Not until you tell me what I did wrong!" Her voice began to raise and Maria's eyes flickered toward the shed. Sophie couldn't care less if anyone else heard. She was so sick of the tournament she felt because her complicated past. A past she couldn't even pick apart.