Save each other // Joel Miller

Mine

Joel held Sophie close the entire trek to Jackson. They didn't leave the building until the morning, letting Ellie get some well needed rest. Joel and Tommy stayed up, to check on Sophie and also, they just couldn't get rest. Tommy asked what was going on between them and Joel told Tommy everything. Tommy had been a little irritated that he wasn't aware of an actual relationship going on, even if he knew it was coming. Tommy told Joel he felt partially responsible for everything that went down. He felt he should have talked Maria out of talking to Sophie so suddenly. Joel didn't respond, not knowing how to feel about any of it.

The walk to the horses and the ride home was quiet. Sophie hadn't woken yet and it put them all at unease. They strode up to the gates of Jackson and we're greeted by a few people, including Dina, Barb, and Maria. They all embraced each other, except Joel. Who was chillingly quiet still and refusing to put Sophie down.

"Come dear, let's get her to the clinic, I can do a full eval on her and then she can rest at home." Barb spoke softly to Joel, placing a comforting hand on his arm. He shook her off and walked past everyone without a word. They all gave Tommy and Ellie a quizzical look and Tommy let out a frustrated grunt before jogging up to Joel. It didn't take long for the younger brother to catch up. Joel's limp was back with full force. He had pushed himself way too far, but he was too bull headed to let anyone else help him with Sophie, so he leaned into the good leg and dealt with the pain.

"Come on Joel, you know Barb out of everyone wants what's best for her." Tommy pleaded.

"Doesn't matter. She's staying with me. If Barb wants to evaluate her or whatever, she can come to my place." Joel said back, not taking his eyes off the direction to his home.

"What? No, Sophies home is with Maria and I." Tommy stated, making Joel stop in his tracks and stare his brother down.

"Are we really gonna fight about this Tommy?" Joel's face and demeanor turned into a warning sign. Tommy didn't back down.

"Sophie is our family, Joel. Shes our responsibility." Tommy ground out through his teeth. All Joel could do was stare at Tommy with disbelief, like he didn't even recognize the man in front of him.

"What the hell are you going on about? She's a grown adult, not some adopted puppy. She's stayed with you two long enough, brother, I think the past 24 hours has proven that." Joel bit back. His tone was scorching hot and hurtful. Tommy let out a frustrated laugh, throwing his hands in the air.

"All her stuff is at our place Joel! Don't you think she will want to be around her stuff when she wakes up?" Tommy was now raising his voice, Joel could see the fire igniting behind his piercing look.

"Why does this matter so much to you Tommy?!" Joel shouted back. Tommy took a step back, tensing his jaw and letting his eyes flicker down at Sophie for a split second. Then it hit Joel like a brick wall. "Oh, fucking hell no!" Joel yelled again, watching Tommy with fury as his brother slunk his shoulders just slightly. Joel turned back towards his house and began walking a more brisk pace, leaving Tommy to stand there and watch.

"You better figure that one out with your wife brother." Joel's tongue felt like it was producing acid, with his words coming out as an attack. "Because this one, Tommy, she's fucking mine." His walk back was forceful, squeezing Sophie so close to his chest that he thought he might hurt her. He stormed through the front door and didn't bother closing it behind him before pushing through the ground level guest bedroom door and laying Sophie down on the bed gently, like a porcelain doll about to break.

He sat next to her, watching her peaceful breaths, for a while. He was afraid if he let her out of his sight she might disappear. Slip through his fingers, like sand. After what seemed like hours, Joel heard footsteps creaking the floor boards behind him. A soft, small hand laid pressure on his shoulder and he looked over his shoulder slightly, giving them only a second of his attention before turning completely back to the girl lying in the bed.

"I need you to step out for a little bit Joel." Barbs voice was quiet but firm. She didn't often use his name, going with a pet name most of the time, and it made Joel sigh out. He let his head drop and he grabbed Sophie's hand. He felt barbs hand give him a gentle squeeze before falling off of him. He leaned in, close to Sophie's ear.

"I'll be back sweetheart, don't do anything stupid while I'm gone." He whispered and kissed her forehead. He slid his hand off of hers and stood up, not making any eye contact with Barb. He didn't want to see her pity filed eyes. He didn't want to feel like he let her down by not being able to prevent Sophie from this fate. He couldn't handle it. He limped his way out of the room and leaned his back against the wall next to the guest bedroom door, crossing his bad foot lazily over his good leg and crossing his arms over his chest. He heaved a heavy breath, trying to relieve the pressure building in his chest, his head falling back and landing against the wall. He closed his eyes a felt one hot tear fall down his face, finally realizing all that had happened in the last two days.

"Heard anything?" Ellie's voice was timid and low, shocking Joel because he didn't notice her get so close.

"Uh, no. Barb just got here." He let out, hoping to hid the feelings he was processing, pushing them back down to conceal from Ellie.

"Hmm." She hummed. She leaned on the wall next to Joel and let her arm rest pushed up onto his. Joel hadn't realized how cold he felt until feeling Ellie's touch. It made his entire body shiver in fear. "Joel?" Ellie peeped out, looking at her feet.

Joel looked down at Ellie, really taking her in. She looked rough, her clothes were dirty and torn, her eyes bagged and dark. She side eyed him before continuing.

"Do you think she will make it through this? I mean, she's been shot before, and she did fine. And look at all the shit you went through, and you just have the limp. There has to be hope she will be just fine.." Ellie was rambling, as she usually does when she's nervous. Joel reached his arm over her shoulders and pulled her into a half hug, placing a ghosted kiss on the top of her head.

"She will be fine Ellie." His confidence shook in his head but his tone didn't betray him. "Sophie is tough, she will make it through." Ellie leaned her head on Joel's shoulders, lightly sighing and closing her eyes. Joel rubbed her shoulder with his thumb, hoping that he had convinced her more than he convinced himself. He hoped Sophie was tough enough to break through, he hoped she would pull through, but all of that was combated by his negative intrusive thoughts. Thoughts that he was a slow, old man, who would lose this beautiful woman to his inability to protect her.

Barb walked out of the room and stood in front of Ellie and Joel. He lifted his head and made eye contact with her, a tint of fear and regret shading over his brown eyes. He searched her wrinkled face for any sign of good news and found a stone expression. It made Joel feel utterly helpless.

"I'm afraid I can't do a through check up without all my tools, but I can bring a cart over in the evening. As of now, the basic physical shows she is going to recover. Nothing broken, and Tommy did an amazing job with patching her bullet wound." Her mention of Tommy made Joel's blood boil, he bit the inside of his cheek to keep his emotions from distorting his face. "She has lost a lot of blood and that gash on the back of her head may cause more issues but we won't know until she wakes." The end of her sentence trailed off to something small and unsure. Barbs body slunk and her face fell with the explanation.

Joel felt his body tense, anger replacing the pain he was feeling. He slipped his arm off of Ellie and he stalked past Barb without a word. He didn't want to talk with them about any of it. He didn't want to hear the possibilities or complications or anything. He just desperately wanted Sophie to wake up. He wanted her to flutter her eye lids opened and looked up at him with her large green eyes. He wanted her expression to change from confused to happy, softening every beautiful feature on her face. He wanted to see her smile and listen to her laugh, like a lighthearted symphony, shy and full of love. He wanted to lean so close that he could taste her honey breath on his tongue and hear her sigh in relief as he lingered a delicate kiss on her lips, tasting every last inch of them, melding their mouths and souls into one.

He wanted tell her how he felt, even though he was scared of what that could mean.

Joel sat back down in the spot he was before and looked to the doorway to find Ellie leaning in the frame.

"You got it bad, don't you?" She gave him a halfhearted smirk, grief layering thickly over her teasing comment. Joel turned his attention to Sophie's face.

"Yeah." He replied softly.