Save each other // Joel Miller

I dont bite

Sophie didn't plan on going to the get together at the bar that night but when Maria is set and determined, not much can push that force. 'I'll just go in, sit in the back, and then leave.' She thought to herself as she walked alone along the lamp lit road. Tommy and Maria had left about an hour before her, getting there as soon as it started.

She approached the bar doors and could feel the music and chatter seeping through the cracks. The low yellow light bathed her feet, which had felt like cinderblocks.

"No big deal, Soph, just go in." She took a deep breath and pushed open the doors. There were way more people than Sophie had thought possible. Mostly standing and swaying with drinks sloshing in their hands. Not many spots left to sit but Sophie immediately scanned the room to find an empty booth. She made her way directly to the spot without looking up.

Sophie didn't need to see to know there were eyes on her. Her face began heating up and her ears felt like they were on fire. She made herself small and slid herself into the booth. She intertwined her hands in her lap and let her curly red hair curtain the side of her face, hoping that if she just hid, everyone would forget about her.

The music seemed to slow and the worlds spin followed suit. Her chest banged with nervousness and she tapped her foot anxiously before being shocked by a hand on her back.

Sophie turned quickly toward the contact to look directly into a comfortable smile. Barb gave her a slight nod and slid into the booth across from her.

"They are looking at you, you know?" She whispered over the table at Sophie. Sophie shook her head yes and gave Barb a very timid glance through her lashes. Barb sighed in understanding.

"It's a good thing my dear!" She reached her hands over the table and offered her open palms. Sophie looked down at them like they were a book written in a different language. Barb sighed again and shook her head side to side, withdrawing her hands. She patted on her legs before standing back up and giving Sophie a thumbs up before sauntering out into the crowd. It was now bustling a little more, moving on from Sophie's presence, mostly. She could still catch a few glances her way but the beating in Sophie's chest calmed down enough to allow her to hear the music again and fully take in the room.

She noticed lots of laughter and drinking. She imagined herself getting up and talking with everyone. Making her way around the room and truly enjoying herself. She felt a tinge of pain pang in her heart as she dove further into her fantasy. This was everything her brother ever wanted for himself and her own life. He knew there were places like this out in this horrid world, and it hurt her to know he was so close to finding it.

She imagined her brother meeting Tommy and hugging him by the end of their interaction. They would have walked straight into town with open arms, he would have been ready to befriend every single person. Sophie clutched her tightening chest as she imagined him flirting shamelessly with every girl he came across, especially Barb. He would have loved her.

Tears welled at the corners of her eyes and threatened to spill over before she quickly wiped them away with the back of her hand. She puffed out a huge breath before looking around again, trying to ground herself in reality. 'I deserve this.' She thought to herself, allowing Joel's words to soak into her soul

She watched people talk with confidence and ease. They moved between each other with hands on the back and shuffled steps. So much trust in a room. It hurt Sophie so much. This was a flood of emotions and though she had only been there for maybe 20 minutes she felt the need to leave. She scanned the room for the two people she needed to say goodbye too and found them, lingering with a small crowd at the bar.

Sophie made her way to them with small steps and lots of ducking around, not stopping even if others seemed to want a word. Polite smiles to the floor were going to have to do for now. She approached and both Tommy and Maria stopped their conversations and smiled down at her.