While you were sleeping (Seokjin's Story)

Part 2

"It's all my fault! It's all my fault!" This was the only thing Yoongi was mumbling, sitting on the floor. His legs were straightened and his back was resting on the wall with his hands laying helplessly. His face was puffy with dry tears trailing on his cheeks, chapped lips and tired eyes.

"Hyung?" Jungkook sat next to Yoongi and called him gently. Yoongi did not respond to him. So he called him again, "Yoongi Hyung?!" Yoongi just looked at him with empty eyes.

"Hyung, it's not your fault! Don't blame yourself!" The Youngest tried to comfort the older.

"You don't know anything, Kook, it's really my fault. I could have saved him! But I didn't do anything! I watched him die." Yoongi answered with a harsh voice.

"No Hyung, you were with us when that happened! How could you save him? Besides that, you were the one who found him in that condition. Then we can say that you saved him!" Jimin said.

"No! He has not saved! He's dying! I know! He has been dying for days, slowly! I knew, but didn't take a single step to save him! How could I be this selfish!?" Yoongi seemed like dying from the guilt that was burning him from the inside. Others could not understand what Yoongi was trying to say.

"Yoongi Hyung, what are you talking about? Did Jin Hyung have any serious diseases? He could have told us or his family if he needed treatment." The leader asked sincerely.

"You know what?! Hyung didn't need any treatment, we need! Every single one of us needs treatment! We are the reason for his condition!" Yoongi shouted, standing up.

"Hyung! Stop it! We know you're worried and hurt to see him like that! It's not like you're the only one who is worried about him! We're too! Don't blame us like that! We didn't do anything!" Taehyung protested.

"Do you really think that? Then leave me alone! Fk Off!"

"Hyung can you please tell us in detail? I want to know what happened to him! Please!" Namjoon asked.

Yoongi looked into his eyes and understood that Namjoon's question was sincere. So he decided to speak again. He wanted to lessen the weight of the guilt from his heart.

Yoongi's POV:

That day was the last day of our new choreography practice before the MV shooting. We returned home late and went to our room after dinner. Jin Hyung didn't eat anything. He said he was not feeling well. I was awake as I was working on my mixtape. When I returned to my and Hyung's room it was 2 AM. The room was so dark. But it was odd because Hyung never liked sleeping in complete darkness. He used to keep the night lamp on while sleeping. So I decided to check on him. When I went close to him and called him, he didn't reply. I thought I was already asleep as we all were tired. Then accidentally my hand touch his arm. It was so cold and wet. I freaked out. I shook him gently to wake him up.

Hyung opened his eyes weakly and said, "Yoongi-ah, you're back! It's late. Go to sleep. You need some rest before tomorrow's schedule. We will have to wake up early."

"Hyung, are you okay? You're freezing cold! Should I call Manager Hyung?" I asked.

"Don't worry! I'm okay! It's a mild fever. I was feeling hot, so I just took a cold shower. That's why..."

"Hyung! It's fking cold today and you took a cold shower?! Have you gone mad?! I should call Manager Hyung!" I started to search for Manager Hyung's number but he held my hand to stop me.

"It's very late! Don't disturb him! It's not like I'm dying! Although I should! Just go to sleep already!" He said. It was like his eyes were telling me to stop bothering him. So I stopped.

After he went back to sleep, I entered the bathroom. It was wet all over. I saw an abnormal amount of used tissues in the trash can. I had so many questions but I ignored them and went to sleep because I was too tired to do anything but sleep. Ignore everything, that's what I always do.

The next morning, he got up early as usual and cooked for us but he didn't eat anything. You guys were in a rush and didn't notice that. I did notice and tried to ask him if he was sick or something. But he said he was okay and would eat later. So typical, right? He always pretended to be okay when he was not and we always missed every hint or didn't want to know.

Everyone lowered their heads hearing Yoong's words. They were feeling guilty for everything.

Yoongi continued, "He always took care of us with all his heart and we just took him for granted!"

"Why are you saying he was this, he did that?! He's alive, Hyung! Don't talk like that!" Jungkook cried.

"I'm going to the hospital," Namjoon said.

"You're not going alone! We're going too!" Hoseok said and got up from his chair.

They were going to the exit when they noticed Yoongi was still on the ground, looking at the white ceiling.

"Are not you coming with us?" Tae asked.

"You guys, go! I can't face him right now! I'm not ready! I'm going to our dorm." Yoongi exhaled.

"As you wish!" Namjoon said in a hesitant and worried voice and they went out of the room.

"Is Yoongi Hyung okay? I'm worried about him. I think he is more bothered by his guilt than all of us." Jimin said.

"Is not it natural? They are roommates for years! I think he needs some time to gather himself. Let's go to the hospital first. We'll call Yoongi Hyung later." Hoseok said.